Dilbert Strips Collecter’s Corner

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This page lists some unusual Dilbert strips. If you know of others, please let me know and I will add them here.

Jump to: Versions, Robots Read News, Dilbert Originals, Other Originals, Mistakes, Non-Book Strips

Versions

These are alternative versions to what was published in newspapers, although in some cases, the alternative version was the one published. Most of these are due to Scott’s delightful sense of humour being too much for newspaper editors who want to protect their readers.

Disinfecting Keyboards 2021-02-03
A sneak peek of a forthcoming strip. The preview shows only the dialogue, where Dilbert tells the Boss he fired all the software vendors and erased the hard drives as ordered. The Boss says he was disinfecting his keyboard and must have sent the message by accident. This was a preview of the strip published 2021-03-13.
Vacation Usage 2021-02-03
A sneak peek of a forthcoming strip. The preview shows only the dialogue, saying that the Boss is telling Dilbert to use his alloted vacation days, even though there is nowhere to go because of the pandemic. This was a preview of the strip published on 2021-03-11.
Dogbert versus Baby Yoda 2020-12-10
A panel that previews a forthcoming strip. Dogbert, wearing a white lab coat and a red necktie, is introducing himself to the Boss, saying, “I’m Dogbert, Doctor of the Impossible.” This turns out to be the first panel of the 2021-02-07 strip. The strip has nothing to do with Baby Yoda, though.
Camera is On 2020-10-26
A panel that previews a forthcoming strip on the Jeffrey Toobin embarassment. The Boss, sitting in front of his laptop, reminds Wally that his camera is on. This turns out to be from the 2020-12-03 strip.
Wearing Masks 2 2020-05-11
A colour drawing of Tina, Dilbert, and Wally wearing facial masks while sitting at a meeting room table. They are not physical-distancing. This is a panel from the strip published on 2020-07-12.
Wearing Masks 2020-04-20
A black-and-white rough drawing of a closeup of Dilbert, the Boss, and Wally, wearing facial masks. Scott says not having to draw noses saves a ton of time. This is a panel from the strip published on 2020-05-20.
Working at Home 2020-03-25
Scott announces that Dilbert will soon be working at home (probably because of the Covid-19 virus isolation) with a colour sketch of Dilbert and Dogbert sitting on a couch with some pillows. Dilbert is holding a cup of coffee, and no dialogue. Update: This turns out to be a panel published in advance from 2020-05-31.
Uber Driver 2016-03-01
A rough version of the strip was published on 2016-01-06. The rough version had the finished dialogue and rough pencil sketches for the characters, Asok and Wally. This strip was part of the six-week “Vacation Artist” period, so was likely a strip supplied to the artist for them to draw. In this case, the artist was John Glynn.
Do No Harm 2015-09-04
A strip showing the too violent version and the published version. The too violent version ended with Alice, having punched through the back of the robot’s head, saying “Remember how I argued that robots should not have rear sensors? This is why.” The published version had her saying “I gave you the personality of a guy.”
Not Genuine 2014-12-17
Scott had some Windows problems and had to phone tech support. From that, he created a strip (published on 2015-03-01) and published a preview of the first two panels.
Bitcoin Thief 2014-04-02
Scott published to first two panels of an upcoming strip on 2014-02-13. The first two panels are Dogbert describing how he will steal bitcoins from dumb criminals. The third panel reads “This panel will be available 4-2-14”
Desiccated Crone 2013-10-30
Another alternative ending that was deemed too strong. The Boss hires a desiccated crone to teach the engineers to eat with manners. The rejected version has Alice saying “this class is a big fork cue.” The published version contains “When I’m too lazy to make a shiv?”
Tooting My Own Horn 2013-08-31
Dilbert says he doesn’t like tooting his own horn to get the credit he deserves. Wally says he likes tooting his own horn and the implication is that Wally is referring to masturbation. Scott marked it as a rejected comic so was never published in newspapers.
Bank Deposit 2012-07-14
Scott makes fun of banks when Dilbert makes a deposit. The bank teller says honesty “makes cross-selling harder” in the published version and an early version has “makes cross-selling a bitch.”
Head Industry Regulator 2010-08-20
An excerpt from the first panel of the strip published on 2010-08-20, showing the CEO pointing to a very small man in his shirt pocket. A line indicating dialog is shown, but the panel is too small to show any words.
Suck Harder 2008-04-03
An early version of a strip published on 2008-04-03. The published version says “Do you have any tasks that don’t feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday?” The early version says “Do you have any tasks that don’t suck harder than a hole in the International Space Station?”
How to Calm a Child 2007
A draft of an unpublished strip. The caption reads “bring your kid to work day”, with the child telling Dilbert he can’t find his mommy and is scared. Dilbert says to calm down because there are a hundred ways you could get killed here. Not counting accidental. The kid panics.
Move the Turd 2007-11-27
The early version of this strip replaced the words “move the hairball to another pocket” with “move the turd to another pocket.” Scott says he wants to get a strip published containing the word “turd.”
Turtle Head 2007-10-06
An early version of this strip replaced the phrase “wino’s spittle of unsupported conclusions” with “turtle’s head of unsupported conclusions.” From the middle panel.
Spray Paint a Turd 2007-09-15
An early version of this strip replaced the phrase “It’s my job to spray paint the roadkill.” with “It’s my job to spray paint the turd.” From the first panel.
Headquarters Design 2007-08-27
A ruder version of the strip. The dialog in the published version reads: “CEO: What’s this part that looks like a horse’s rump? Dogbert: That’s the entrance to the executive suite.” The ruder version reads: “CEO: Oh, my! Dogbert: Too scrotal?”
Coffee-Swilling Beaver Final Panels 2007-08-17 and 2007-08-18
The final panels from the strips about a coffee-swilling beaver were published, on 2007-08-17 and 2007-08-18.
Chair Buttocks 2007-04-24
Alice is visting a doctor about her case of chair buttocks. The published version shows Alice with her feet on the floor, while leaning over the examination table while the doctor looks at her buttocks. An early version shows her on her hands and knees on the examination table. Another panel I’ve seen shows a close-up of the doctor’s head right up Alice’s rear end.
Ashtray-Head’s Research 2007-03-29
Ashtray-head is doing some research about being a good manager. In the final panel, he is shown reading a “Cat Fancy” magazine while sitting on a toilet. The published version shows this from his waist up. An early version shows him from a little lower angle.
Diet Guru 2007-01-06
Dogbert gives the Boss some diet advice. The final panel in the published version reads: “Dogbert: Stop eating or I’ll kill you. The Boss: Would I get a last meal?” The early version reads: “Dogbert: If looking like a walrus with diabetes doesn’t motivate you, I don’t think you want to know what Plan B is.”
Where Marketing Data Comes From 2006-11-21
The original showed a marketing person with an ass for a head pulling a document out of his head. The published version had the ass on the top of his head covered by underpants and the document coming out through the waistband. Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, page 265.
Asok’s Butt 2006-06-24
The original drawing showed Asok’s naked butt. The editors thought that too many people would complain so the comic was redrawn with underpants. The underpants showed the outline of Asok’s buttocks, but no-one complained. Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, page 130.
Porn is too Strong a Word 2006-03-05
Scott’s editor objected to the use of the word porn (“There’s too much porn on your hard drive”) and so suggested smut to replace it. Scott published just the one panel containing the word in question, not the whole strip, on 2006-01-23.
It Keeps Uranus Warm 2006-04-03
This one snuck by the censors but some newspapers’ editors changed Uranus to Pluto. So Scott claims, tho’ I haven’t seen the changed one to verify.
Photo on Stapler 2006-04-03
Another strip that was published on the same day as “It Keeps Uranus Warm.” It was published in at least two newspapers that day, likely to avoid the offensive strip. In it, Alice asks permission to put the Boss’ picture on her stapler. The Boss says he doesn’t usually allow personal items on desktops, but will make an exception here. The final panel shows Alice mangling paper with the stapler with the caption “Eat paper, you ignorant parasite! Ha ha ha!!!”
Internet is Full 2006-02-22
This strip was adapted, with changed dialog, into a 404 page. The Boss asks about a 404 page instead of e-mail not working.
Jet-Lagged Baby 2006-01-25
A baby in the office stares at a well-endowed woman presumably wanting to breast-feed. The tamer, newspaper-published version had the dialogue “Hey, I just got a crazy idea.” The original version, published on the internet comic web sites, contained “Less talking, more burping.” Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, page 75.
When Life Gives You Lemons 2005-12-09
Scott published an version of this strip a few days early on his blog. The early version had the dialogue in the first panel intact, but the rest of the dialogue removed. Scott asked his blog readers to supply their own lines in the comments section and then quoted the ones he liked. This is a fore-runner of the Mashup section at the Dilbert site.
Interviewing the Boss’s Pet 2005-11-03
This one contains a reference to sexual harassment that’s subtle enough for most people to miss (“now do the leg thing”). The published version replaced the last panel with the Boss saying something complimentary and mundane (“nice furrowing of the brows”). Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, page 20.
Porpoise Attacking a Shark 2005-09-06
The tame version showed a lawyer’s body with a large, porpoise-snout-sized hole in the middle of his back. The offensive version showed the lawyer’s body with the porpoise still lodged up his rear end. Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, page 11.
Is that Donut Loaded? 2005-08-04
Scott shows some early versions of the strip. The first version showed a police officer shooting his gun. Since there is a “rule” against guns firing in comics, the depiction of the shooting was replaced by the entire panel showing Bam, Bam in the second version. The final version reverted back to the original drawing except that the gun firing bullets was replaced by a donut firing some bullets. That, apparently, is OK. Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!, pages 7 and 8
Breeding Owls 2005-05-17
A version with the final panel covered with a sign that said it was “hilarious but offensive” and the reader could go to dilbert.com to see it. Some papers published the uncensored version.
Wally Surviving in Jail 2001-05-09
The newspaper version has Wally trying to impress his cellmate by wanting to get temporary tattoos at the gift shop. The web version replaced the last panel with Wally asking his cellmate to close his eyes and whistle while Wally used the toilet.
Brand Awareness 2000-08-06
The web version showed Wally’s butt cleavage as he was being branded. The newspaper version had that censored and just left his butt smooth.
Face Time 2000-02-09
The newspaper version shows a VP making faces at Dilbert. The web-only version replaces the last panel with Dilbert watching another employee kissing the VP on the ass. “He’s still giving face time to someone else.”
Special Olympics 1999-01-06
The web version contained a phrase that was considered “in poor taste” and it was changed for the newspaper version.
Still Beating Heart 1998-09-05
The published version has three panels and the web version had a fourth panel. The extra panel showed Alice being violent.
It Might Have Sucked 1997-07-17
There were two versions published in newspapers that day depending on the editor’s choice. One version contained the word sucked. The alternative version replaced that with been useless.
The O-Word 1997-08-18
This strip shows Dilbert recruiting students. The strip had Dilbert misleadingly comparing meetings to parties: “I’m not allowed to say the O-word” appeared in the newspaper version. The web version had orgy instead of the O-word.
Cubicle Police 1994-01-17
The original version has a sign on the wall saying “Cubicle Gestapo”, and the syndicate persuaded Scott to change that to “Cubicle Police” for newspapers. Scott says in the Dilbert 2.0 book it was a good change, as some people take offence to Nazi references, and the change doesn’t affect the joke.

Robots Read News

A sort of side strip showing a robot news reader. There are some published as part of the Dilbert strip, and the following lists the ones published on his Twitter and blog feeds. The Twitter and blog RRN strips started 2014-02-12.

Dilbert Originals

Non-newspaper strips featuring Dilbert, Dogbert, and other regular strip characters.

NFT 2021-04-15
Scott Adams ventures into the NFT market and puts up two strips for auction, one naughty and one nice. The date on the strip is 2021-03-01, and it was announced on his Twitter feed on 2021-04-15. In the strip, Dogbert tells Dilbert he bought some collectible digital art for $600, then sold it for $120,000. Dilbert says there is no reason to own collectible digital art, then yells. In the nice version, he says “Can you let me be right for one minute?” In the naughty version, he says “Can you let me be right for one fucking minute?”
Bigly Dogbert 2017-10-31
A sketch of Dogbert with Donald Trump’s hair, walking among cubicles while humming to himself.
Disloyal Dog 2016-03-26
A rough drawing of Dogbert with the captions “Disloyal Dog” and “Man’s Acquaintance.”
New Dilbert Design 2015-12-27
A sketch of a proposed re-design of the Dilbert character. It featured eyes, no glasses, eyebrows, a mouth and a smaller nose.
Just Testing 2014-02-12
Scott was having troubles with his blog, so published a few images for testing purposes.
  • A single panel of Robots Read News that was large. The caption reads “This is just a test to see if the dimensions of the image matter.”
  • A blank strip used as the template for his daily strips. Three blank panels with the site name, email address and copyright information.
  • A blank strip with a partially finished drawing of the Boss in the centre panel. The drawing of the head and torso has no eyes or mouth. This strip comes in GIF and lower-resolution JPEG versions.
  • Another posting of the “This is Nuts” strip. See the entry below for more information.
Scott Draws Dilbert 2013-11-22
A drawing of Scott Adams who is drawing a mostly finished Dilbert (unfinished from the eyes upward). Both figures are the same size, and Scott is standing, and Dilbert is seated.
This is Nuts 2012-05-18
This one was turned down by censors, a rare event according to Scott. The Boss shows the new company logo consisting of a heart growing out of the earth and branches growing out of it. When viewed upside down, it looks like hairy testicles. Published in Scott’s blog on 2012-03-27.
Lust Dust 2012-04-30
The editor thought it was inappropriate for newspapers. Dogbert gives the Boss some magic dust used by Apple on all their consumer products. The jar top isn’t on tight and the Boss spills some on himself. Published in Scott’s blog on 2012-04-30.
Pirate’s Peg Leg 2011-05-09
A rough draft of a strip that will never be published in newspapers. This one has Alice saying that she’s no longer allowed to use her fist of death at work, but she is allowed to use her foot of death. She wears Asok upside down as a peg leg.
Dogbert’s Flawed Financial Products 2010-04-28
Another unfinished strip that would have been stale by the time it was published. This one shows Dogbert being questioned by Congress about his setting up flawed financial products and then betting they would fail. They ask Dogbert how he lives with himself and Dogbert replies that the servants help. Scott calls it a Confusopoly.
Wally Loses a 4G Phone 2010-04-26
Based on recent events in technology news, Scott calls these two strips “unfinished drafts” and they’ll never been seen in newspapers. The first strip show Wally borrowing a secret 4G phone prototype and then taking it to a bar and getting drunk. Other people in the bar are a blogger and seller of other people’s property. The second strip shows Wally confessing to the Boss that he lost the phone. It started mis-spelling words after his fourth beer. He suggests calling the incident a clever marketing ploy.
How to Read a Book Quickly 2008
This is published on the Amazon website in conjunction with the publishing of the Dilbert 2.0 book.
Crack Team 2001-04-03
In this strip, the Boss asks Dilbert to put together a crack team and the joke is that a team member shows some butt cleavage.
Scott Adams’ Bio 1999-12-01
This contains the strip from 1999-12-01 and adds a photo of Scott, and a hand-written biography. It reads: “Born in Catskill, NY, 6/8/57. Learned everything I know from television. Graduated Hartwick College in 1979 with a BA in Economics. Held a variety of degrading and low paying jobs at a big bank. Finished my MBA at night, at UC Berkeley, in 1986. Went to work at Pacific Bell, doing another string of useless jobs (mostly involving money and technology). Submitted Dilbert to several syndicates and signed a contract with United Media in 1988. Put Dilbert on the Internet in 1995. Won the prestigious Adamson Award (1995) from Sweden because my translator is funner than I am. Won the Reuben (1998).”
Corn Starch 1995-05-04
A newspaper web site was reprinting older strips and got tangled up in the dates. So United Media made an unpublished strip available to fill in a gap. It shows Dogbert sitting on a pillow, contemplating corn starch, and wondering why people would iron corn. (The date in the URL was 1995-05-04 and the date written in the strip is 2000-06-03)
Sven Went to Yale 1994-12-026
The published version adds clarification. The original asked the question, “So, I hear you went to Yale”. The published version did a better setup of the joke with “So, I hear you went to Yale, Sven.”
Mark, I’d like you to… 1994-08-01
This was sent out in case newspaper editors objected to the phrase Uranus-Hertz. The strip containing Uranus-Hertz was published in the book Fugitive from the Cubicle Police. The alternative strip, which was completely different, was published in a desktop calendar. Does anyone know which one? The alternative strip contained the Boss starting to ask Mark to do something, and Mark over-reacts.
Millie, George Bush’s Dog 1991-02-04
Scott drew the strip, but decided to self-censor and not publish. In the strip, Dogbert says he is writing to George Bush (senior)’s dog. Bob the dinosaur is confused until Dogbert clarifies that he means Millie, their Springer Spaniel. Then Dogbert wonders who Bob was thinking of. The implication was that Dogbert could have been referring to Barbara Bush, the former first lady. Scott decided not to insult Mrs. Bush.
Girl Guides and Terrorists 1991-01-12 (?)
A strip that Scott Adams brings along on speaking tours that shows the dangers of mixing the wrong types of humour. This one deals with children and terrorism, a bad mix. A girl guide tries to sell Dogbert cookies and he asks if the money will be used to support terrorism. She replies that only money from their bake sale is used that way. More details are in this post. (The date is fuzzy. 1991-01-12 is my best guess)
The Dawn of Dilbert 1988
The original 50 strips that Scott put together to sell to a syndicate. Most of the ideas in these have been re-used in newspaper strips. They’re in Dilbert 2.0.
Early Sketches pre-1988
A selection of Scott’s early drawings and jokes from before the submission package. They’re reprinted in Dilbert 2.0. One panel published online shows Dilbert in line to donate plasma, and says “Wait, maybe there’s another way…” A nearby dog thinks “Of course! The employee referral program!” This is from 1985, the first Dilbert.
Dogbert Origin Strips 1997
The Dogbert origin strips are at These nine previously-unpublished strips show how Dogbert and Dilbert met and take the characters in another direction. Not published anywhere.
The Boss’ Brain Unknown Date
Dilbert, holding a screwdriver and wearing a toolbelt containing electronic devices, has the top half of the Boss’ head tilted open. He is peering inside the Boss’ head at the small brain.

Other Originals

Scott’s other drawings that don’t feature Dilbert or other familiar characters (mostly).

Poltergeist Checklist 2018-01-30
A man drinking coffee along with a checklist for detecting a poltergeist, drawn for a WSJ article by Scott Adams about Trump’s Polls. The picture is also available on Twitter
Diary Coffee Cup 2014-05-08
A drawing of a coffee cup that has a picture of Dilbert for a WSJ article of Scott Adams’ diary.
Taxidermy Beer Hats 2013-10-12
A panel to accompany a WSJ excerpt from Scott’s book. It shows two guys wearing stuffed animals that hold beer cans for the guys to drink. The caption says “Maybe next time we don’t follow our passion.”
Invention Notebook 2013-09-13
After news that Bill Gates purchased Leonardo da Vinci’s notebook for $31 million dollars, Scott offers his own for only $25 million. One invention is a pillow that dissipates the noise of snoring where the sleeper puts a tube in his mouth that goes into the pillow containing baffles.
Living Dangerously 2011-12-31
Two panels to accompany a WSJ article about confronting fear. One panel shows a motorbike accident, the other kayaking over a waterfall.
Thomas Jefferson Checks 2011-11-07
A panel to accompany a WSJ article about interacting with government and making the interface friendly like an iPod. The panel shows Jefferson asking a man about modern homes and the man replies it’s a hatchback.
The Rich Move to Sea 2011-10-01
Another panel to accompany a WSJ article about rich people moving offshore to live on the ocean. The panel shows two whales looking at a floating house and one whale says “Warren Buffet’s secretary is not going to like this.”
Benefits of Boredom 2011-08-06
A panel to accompany a WSJ article about having nothing to do. That stimulates creativity. The panel shows an older man saying we had something called boredom back in 2003. The other man is younger and is wearing headphones, carring a smart phone and a tablet, and is wearing a game controller on his belt. A dog is wearing headphones.
Mosquito Victim 2011-06-18
A panel to accompany a WSJ article about fake vacations. The panel shows a woman reading a brochure warning about the mosquito hazards, and a man being attacked by a mosquito, his brain being sucked dry.
Get a Real Education 2011-04-09
Another WSJ editorial about getting a good education. There are two accompanying comic panels. One contains two students in a classroom, a large-brained one and a dumb-looking one. The other contains an interviewee telling that he knows about several elements in the periodic table.
How to Tax the Rich 2011-01-29
Another WSJ article about how to tax the rich. There are two accompanying comic drawings, one, a panel with a man in a car who is glad he can drive in the carpool lane, and a strip showing different rewards other than financial.
Scott’s Green House Building 2010-08-21
Scott wrote another article for the WSJ about his experience with building an ecologically-friendly house. To accompany the article, Scott drew Dilbert and Wally on top of a photograph of himself. Scott was holding a pine cone and some twigs, and had a bird and a bird’s nest on his head. The caption says “I live in a log with a family of chipmunks. But your willingness to consider recycling is good too.”
BP’s Cleanup Plan 2010-06-05
Scott wrote an article for the WSJ about wanting to invest in BP because of the oil spill (“Betting on the Bad Guys”). The article was accompanied by a single panel comic. The panel showed a man reading an article on his computer explaining that BP planned to plug the oil leak with Florida. The man wondered when evil became so awesome.
Plop Spinoff 2001
This is not Dilbert, but Scott Adams experimented with a spin-off about a hairless Elbonian called Plop. It didn’t go anywhere. There were 28 strips in total, and aren’t online.
Danish Cartoonist Hat Unknown Date
A panel containing one person sitting at a computer while wearing another person on top. The bottom’s person head is up the ass of the top person. The caption reads “Danish cartoonist wearing another Danish cartoonist as a hat.” Likely this is in response to a Danish newspaper publishing cartoons featuring Muhammad in 2005.
Smart Candle Unknown Date
A rough drawing of a cylindrical candle with labels. The top label says “LED Candle” and points to the top part of the candle. The other label says “Kitchen Timer Base” and points to the bottom of the candle. This looks like it might have been part of Scott’s “Invention Notebook” from 2013-09-13, but I haven’t been able to confirm or deny that.
Smart Phone with a Venetian Screen Unknown Date
A rough drawing of a smart phone that has a pull-out wide screen, in the style of a venetian blind. There are labels pointing to the parts of the phone. This looks like it might have been part of Scott’s “Invention Notebook” from 2013-09-13, but I haven’t been able to confirm or deny that.

Mistakes

Bid Delivery 2003-08-19
Correct and “broken” versions of this strip were published that day. The Boss’s line of dialogue in the first panel, missing from the broken version, is “I’ll deliver it to them”.

Non-Book Strips

If you buy the books, you will still be missing these strips:

Six Week Book Gap Starting 2012-08-27
For the first time, there is a gap between collection books of six weeks. The book Your New Job Title is “Accomplice” ends on 2012-08-26, and the book I Sense a Coldness in Your Mentoring begins on 2012-10-08. That’s a span of 6 weeks. Get them at the Dilbert site starting on 2012-08-27. Are they published elsewhere? I haven’t seen where.
April Fools 1997-04-01
This April Fools day strip was drawn by Bil Keane of The Family Circus fame and appears in Journey to Cubeville. Scott Adams drew the April Fools panel for The Family Circus that day and presumably appears in some The Family Circus collection. Does anyone know which one? For the completist, there’s also a Bil Keane 1997-04-02 follow-up to the Scott Adams’ The Family Circus April Fools panel.
Office Party 1991-03-31
If you look in the book Bring Me the Head of Willy the Mailboy, notice that a Sunday strip should appear between pages 108 and 109. They missed this strip, for whatever reason.