They have achieved optimal meeting density. There are so many meetings, Wally can avoid all of them by saying he has another meeting at the same time.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss's nickname at work is the "Frickin' Bottleneck." Dilbert says he tries to stop the bad people from saying that.
The Boss asks Carol if people actually call him a "Frickin' Bottleneck" behind his back. Carol refers to him as F.B.
Dilbert designs the new product to work well for ten years. The CEO says that's no good as people won't need an upgrade. It needs to slow down and be unreliable after two years.
The company they acquired used Elbonian slave labour, so they were replaced by minimum wage employees with no hope of career advancement.
The product summary needs more jargon and acronyms. It must make them look smart and make the readers feel dumb.
The Boss appreciated Alice's two-hour summary of her project. He didn't understand any of the jargon but believed her about the software being done soon.
Alice is assigned to mentor a new employee. She says don't expect much because she sees him as a competitor for her job.
Alice tells her mentoree that the Boss loves constructive criticism. And to grab him by the hair and yell "Handles!"
The mentoree isn't sure whether Alice is telling him the truth. She says to give the Boss a wedgie because he likes assertive people.
Dilbert asks an interviewee for his weaknesses. Among the long list, the interviewee says he's gotten every one of his bosses fired.
Dilbert's project is stalled because he can't get a meeting room. They've all been reserved my managers "just in case they need them."
Dilbert asks if everyone is ready for lunch as he's been waiting ninety minutes. Alice says they just got back. No one noticed Dilbert was missing.
The Boss hires a story-telling mothman. He identifies the employees with the greatest workloads and wastes their time telling stories.
The story-telling mothman descends on Alice and wastes her time with a long story.
Dilbert can't get work done because the story-telling mothman keeps dropping in. Why did the Boss hire him in the first place?
The storytelling mothman keeps everyone from getting work done. Alice takes care of him, though.
A new tell-all book on the company says the CEO is a raging sociopath with the intellect of a clam. The CEO wants a press release denying those lies.
A thief steals a package from Alice's front door. She activates the particle beam defence.
Alice has icy hands and Dilbert is burning up, so Dogbert the judge sets the temperature of the office.
Alice accomplished nothing because her hands were frozen, while Dilbert was so hot he couldn't concentrate and couldn't accomplish anything either.
The network was down because someone unplugged the server in order to charge his phone. The Boss lost his phone.
A co-worker wants to give a suggestion to Dilbert. Dilbert only pretends to listen.
Wally promised to update the web page for six months. Wally can't work with an artificial deadline.
Dilbert chairs a meeting, but the participants are tired, hungry, distracted and vengeful. So Dilbert dismisses them and makes the decisions himself.
The Boss wants 110% from the engineers, though they can only promise parts of that.
Dilbert's attention span is reduced by digital devices. He needs a dopamine hit every four seconds.
Dilbert makes a todo list and has 347 urgent tasks with new ones every day.
The Boss doesn't need the thing he asked Wally to do, despite neither of them remembering what it was.
The Boss lost his phone and asks Dilbert to call it. That makes both of them unproductive.
Wally looks for someone to blame before giving the status for his project. Ted was fired last week.