Dilberts financial forecast turned out to be wrong. Dilbert isn't surprised since they were gust guesses plus math.
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Dilbert can't get a raise because his financial forecasts were wrong. Dilbert says they can never be accurate anyway.
Ted gets lost overboard on a company white-water rafting trip. The rest of the group vote to forget that Ted was on the outing.
The Boss is excited to find a thumb drive on the sidewalk. Dilbert knows it would likely contain a virus.
Elbonian hackers are in the network, the Boss reports. Maybe it's because of the thumb drive the Boss found.
Dilbert isn't able to delete the Elbonian virus from the network as it keeps replicating. It sent a fake email from the CEO's account full of bad ideas and typos.
The Boss is upset because the Elbonian virus gave everyone a ten percent raise. He wants Dilbert to get rid of it immediately.
The Elbonian virus scrambled the company mission statement into nonsense. Alice says it's always been nonsense but now looks better after the virus fixed grammar and punctuation.
Wally says he finished his assignment but the virus deleted the report and all of its backups. The Boss doesn't know if that's true.
Wally's goal is to become an Olympic pole vaulter even though he's not training for it. He succeeds in driving Tina away, who was questioning him about it.
The Boss decides to become a professional gambler on the side. He is teaching himself to count cards.
The Boss asks Dogbert for a loan to finance gambling on the side. Dogbert says 40% interest per day and he'll kill the Boss for missing a payment.
The Boss says his gambling sideline is going great. He won a $5K jackpot after losing $700K and his wife.
The Boss complains about being a professional gambler. He lost a million dollars and his wife in a week. He's not a quitter though.
A doctor says the Boss' brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. He's under the control of social media, gambling and big pharma.
Dilbert is worried their app is too addictive. It's now more like a disease than a consumer product.
Topper has accomplished nothing this year. He says less is more and he's done less than anyone.
Dilbert says their apps are so addictive they're triggering a zombie apocalypse. The users don't interact with the living anymore.
Zimbu the monkey tests an app for addictiveness. He gets a shot of dopamine every time he clicks.
Animal testing on their app is complete. The app is so addictive Zimbu was hospitalised for starvation while using it.
Dilbert wonders why he needs a prescription for a drug to boost dopamine but doesn't need one to use an app that does the same.
Dilbert no longer feels completely human. His car almost drives itself and apps control his brain.
Some agents from Homeland Security arrive to arrest Dilbert. He is at risk of being radicalised online.
A new employee joins, a former Navy Seal and war hero. Dilbert shows him how to reformat a slide deck to e more organic.
The Boss wants the new phone designed with the goals of being beautiful, slippery, and brittle.
Dilbert introduces the Beautiful, Slippery, and Brittle phone that needs its screen replaced 100 times -- the BSB 100.
All of the smartphone buyers dropped and broke them within a minute of unboxing. They blamed themselves even though the phones are slippery and brittle.
Asok kept dropping and breaking his phone so now he keeps it wrapped up in a big ball of cotton.
The insurance company that insures the slippery and brittle cell phones is angry because every phone breaks in the first minute.
Dogbert diagnoses the problem with the corporate culture -- the employees are all selfish, rotten liars.
Dilbert made a breakthrough in artificial intelligence. He makes a digital home assistant that has the personality of a person.