Dilbert asks the robot lawyer for comments on the contract. The robot responds with legal gibberish. Comments that make sense come from a more expensive robot.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Wally does not open email because he'd see lots of urgent emails that would ruin his day.
The Boss asks why they can't innovate as fast as the competition. Dilbert thinks it's because management is like squirrels living in an old tire.
More pay or more days off, asks the Boss. The engineers all want more days off. The Boss thinks that's because they are overpaid.
Is the estimate accurate asks the Boss. Yes says Dilbert because he can accurately predict the future.
The next project will use agile methodology and one of the engineers will be designated scrumbag.
Wally wants to sit at the stand up meeting. Dilbert says doing that would ruin the software.
The Boss asks when is the team huddle. Dilbert won't tell him because it's his job to prevent interference with the team.
As leader for the agile team, Dilbert must remove distractions. He spreads rumours that everyone has died but the Boss still wants to find them.
As scrum master, Dilbert must remove distractions from Alice. She she asks him to get out of her cubicle.
Asking when the software will be completed is like asking how long it takes for a salamander to evolve into a horse, Dilbert tells the Boss.
The Boss left a list of everyone's salary on the photocopier. Heads exploded when the engineers found out Wally is the highest-paid.
The only plan that will work doesn't look good. Dilbert suggests changing it to one that won't work but looks better. The Boss likes that.
The Boss tells the CEO about Dilbert's proposal. A plan that looks good but will fail. The CEO thinks Dilbert has management potential.
Dilbert offends a coworker by calling him a resource. It's another sign of Dilbert's management potential.
The Boss tells Dilbert the CEO thinks Dilbert has management potential. Dilbert thinks it's an insult and calls the CEO a heartless monster.
The CEO puts Dilbert on the management fast track. The Boss doesn't know why the CEO hates Dilbert enough to do that.
Dilbert asks for advice on how to avoid becoming management. Wally suggests telling the Boss that Dilbert is after his job.
Alice turns meeting room into her office. Dilbert wants to hold a meeting but can't get rid of her.
The Boss assigns the best engineers to the new application. Wally is excited to be put in charge of the legacy app.
A client asks for changes to the legacy app while they're waiting for the new app to come online. Wally says it's his job to make sure there are no changes in the legacy app.
A coworker asks Wally how long to add a feature to the legacy system. He says one month longer than the system's expected lifetime.
Alice asks Wally if he minds working on the legacy system while the rest are working on interesting new things. Wally says he gets to leave at 4 pm every day.
The Boss says Wally doesn't take pride in his work. Wally says that's like taking pride in being a crime victim.
The Boss wants to set goals for Wally. But Wally's only goal is to prevent an upgrade to the legacy application.
Asok needs a raise because he can't afford an apartment or a roommate. He's living on a baby changing table in a public washroom.
Tina can't work with Wally because of his political views. He makes her too sad and angry to work.
Wally's political opinions are making his coworkers uncomfortable, the Boss tells him. Just like Gandhi, Wally says.