The Boss didn't read Dilbert's long email and wants a summary. Dilbert sent a long email because a summary would be misleading.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss wonders why Dilbert didn't talk with the Boss before making the decision. Dilbert left a voicemail, an email and a text message.
Alice wants to have learned about this sooner. Dilbert brings up Zeno's Paradox, which states there's always a sooner time than the one picked.
Wally wants to know if the user specifications are complete. If there are any changes afterwards, he can use it as an excuse as to why the project is late.
The company is getting into the electric car business because it sounds impressive and it would take years before anyone figures out they did it wrong.
The first meeting for the electric car project kicks off. How hard can it be?
The executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales so they voted themselves a raise instead.
Dilbert needs to get his budget approved by all of the department heads. A re-org means approval must come from incoming and outgoing managers.
Dilbert can't get approval from the head of marketing because the incoming manager has yet to be named.
Catbert says Dilbert forged the signature for the head of marketing. That meant the project finished on time and under budget.
Dilbert brings a date to a restaurant that required six months to get a reservation. The food is amazing. She, however, only eats cucumbers after five o'clock.
The Boss has a choice, a detailed analysis he won't understand, or a summary that is dangerously misleading.
Wally asks the Boss for permission to work smarter, not harder.
It's only work if you'd rather be doing something else. Tina wants to be doing anything else.
Tina hates her job but is looking forward to her afterlife. Her soul will live forever.
Alan from the quality assurance department introduces himself. He says they have plenty of quality.
All Alan from Quality Assurance does is assure people the company has quality. He doesn't like to tell people how to do their jobs.
The CEO says none of the company will lose their jobs to robots except for him. He'll be replaced next week. The CEO will retire with an enormous severance package and the robot taking his place will work all the employees to death.
Wally suggests moving the agile programmers to a different building because it has poor earthquake protection. But that's OK because they're agile and can jump out of the way.
Wally's new cubicle is closest to the office thermostat. Now he is the ruler of the indoor climate.
Wally tries to bargain with Tina. He will set the office thermostat to her liking if she warns him whenever the Boss is on the move.
Wally's world view has expanded greatly since getting a cubicle near a window. He can see the alley in front of the parking garage.
Alice loves travelling. Wally doesn't need to travel as he can see the world between the office and the parking garage.
Wally is better than Tina because he has a window cubicle. Exposure to new stimuli create useful pathways and connections.
Dilbert wants mentoring from the Boss. The Boss doesn't want Dilbert to be a credible threat for his job. Dilbert is more of an adversary than a subordinate so the Boss withholds information vital for Dilbert to do his job.
The CEO hurts when he sits on his wallet for too long. Asok risked an honour killing to pay his rent.
Dilbert analyses the readings from the Boss's fitness band. The Boss makes terrible decisions when he's hungry, tired or stressed.
Dilbert arranges to meet in person via his laptop. Each wants the other person to travel to their own office to save time.
A co-worker tries to bribe Wally to do his job properly. Wally asks if he can still do his usual total lack of effort.
Wally has been accepting bribes from co-workers to do his job. They are optimistic but he's not sure why as he didn't listen to them.