The Boss tells Dilbert to be less honest because his honesty is offending co-workers.
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Dilbert is almost finished commenting on the Boss's technology strategy. The Boss objects to the word "idiot".
The Boss can't promote Dilbert because Dilbert hasn't impacted anything important. Dilbert is only on unimportant projects.
The Boss says Dilbert's comments on the Boss's technology strategy are ambiguous, especially a "Squirrel looking for a nut".
In a perfect world, how would Dilbert fix the problem?, the Boss asks. Dilbert says in a perfect world, the Boss would not exist.
The Boss won't double Dilbert's pay if Dilbert doubles his productivity but it might increase the Boss's bonus.
The Boss should celebrate Wally's failures because failure is the raw material of success.
The Boss will start celebrating the engineers' failures, while still taking credit for their successes.
Dilbert fixes the technology strategy for the Boss. It still doesn't sound logical so is buried under techno babble.
The Boss wonders if he can Instagram a Tweet right to Facebook or Like something he Favourited will Pin it to his Followers.
The Boss offers a low starting salary to someone with a large student loan debt.
Dilbert tries to show respect for the Boss's opinion before voicing disagreement.
The Boss asks Dilbert to stop agreeing with the Boss in ways that sound like Dilbert doesn't mean it.
Alice wants to disagree with the Boss's new strategy without making him angry.
Alice and Ted are competing for the same promotion. She tells him she will use social media to make him look bad.
The standing desk for the Boss gets delivered. Carol expects to have it returned by tomorrow.
Dilbert gets a new co-worker a book. It's by her favourite author, which Dilbert learned from the network guys' spying on her.
Alice hates Mondays more than Garfield. Wally wonders why she hates Garfield at all. Total disregard for lasagna ownership, maybe?
Tina asks Dilbert why he's so anti-social. Dilbert doesn't oppose social behaviour, just doesn't enjoy being with people.
Dogbert's inspirational words: in the long run, we're all dead.
Dilbert invents software to duplicate the human brain and combined it with 3-D printed body parts to make a Bossbot.
The Bossbot can't pass the Turing Test but neither can the original.
The Boss asks Dilbert to get rid of the Bossbot. Dilbert says Alice will do it.
A woman asks Dilbert about himself and to be totally honest. Dilbert admits he likes technology more than people and other truths.
The CEO gives Catbert a list of ten qualities to have in all new hires. Catbert says new employees also need to be masochists.
The Boss tells an interviewee about the top ten qualities for new hires. The interviewee says that's too broad and employers must set priorities.
The Boss asks Alice for a list of known problems and Alice sends him a link to the company directory.
The Boss complains about Alice mocking him in a meeting. Now Alice thinks she can be disrespectful all the time.
Alice realises she can insult the Boss and he won't react. She plans to find the limits of this benefit.
Wally wonders if he, like Alice, can insult the Boss and get away with it.
Dilbert asks a woman if they can make out, if they can go on a date, go for lunch, text her, Facebook friend her and Twitter follow her.