The CEO wants the company to act more like a start-up. Dilbert asks if he means they ask for funding for one thing and then pivot six times?
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dilbert was offered a job at a start-up at half his pay plus equity in the company that has no value.
Dilbert tells the Boss venture capitalists care most about the skills of the engineers, and threatens to quit and form a start-up.
Dilbert has an idea for a start-up. Dogbert tells Dilbert he is doomed. Dilbert is optimistic he could pivot to the next idea and Dogbert repeats he is doomed.
The Boss wants something so simple his mother could use it. Dilbert says his mother learned Ruby on Rails over the weekend.
The CEO says they can only succeed if they execute. Wally asks if that's the same as they can only succeed if they succeed.
The Boss asks Tina to ghost write a book of his leadership advice but doesn't plan to read it himself.
Asok tells the CEO he's reading a book that says the secret to success is networking with successful people. The CEO says it also says to avoid contact with losers.
Asok asks the Boss if they can network to help Asok's career. The Boss says that sounds weird and creepy.
The CEO says it's better to execute an imperfect plan today than a perfect plan next week. Dilbert says he's now free from any penalty if he does things wrong.
A coworker says it's tradition for an engineer to savage every technology decision made before he got involved, and asks Dilbert to be gentle with his software.
Dilbert tells the Boss the project has weak code and Dilbert must rewrite it all from scratch.
Dilbert is happy because he's feeling rested and no one has been awful to him all day.
Dilbert arrives home happy and asks Dogbert to no ruin a perfect day.
Dilbert tells the Garbageman he had a great day yesterday. The Garbageman says Dilbert didn't really have a good day, it's all in his mind.
Wally is on a conference call but is drinking coffee in the hallway. That's OK because they aren't saying anything important.
The Boss thinks Dilbert needs better time management skills. Dilbert says he's behind schedule because he's doing the work of three engineers.
On a conference call, Wally pretends to be Ted to avoid getting an assignment.
The Boss reviews a simple proposal and says he will get the lawyers to turn it into a complex document with new complexity risks.
A company lawyer turned the Boss's simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement.
Ratbert wants to go to Google when he dies. He would spend eternity with free food, bus service and massages.
The Boss hires an ex-Google employee because he was driven. Dilbert asks if that's because they have free bus service.
Asok is always tense. Wally says that's the tyranny of expectations. Competency is a vicious cycle.
The Boss wants to know what skills to look for in his next hire. Dilbert offers to write them down. He can solve all problems by writing stuff down.
The Boss introduces Barry, a skeleton in an exosuit.
Experts say you need a great team to get great results. Dilbert has to make do with an intern, Wally and a corpse.
Dilbert is going deep on a technology problem today. He will dedicate his attention at the expense of social awareness.
Wally comes across Dilbert hard at work and says Dilbert has put all his mental energy into solving a problem, so won't be able to have any social awareness.
Wally says the key to success is not caring what others think of you. And that's also true of being totally useless.
The CEO asks Dogbert to co-author a book on success with him. He wants readers to believe success comes from hard work and wise decisions.
Wally keeps sending links to tips for a good leader to the Boss. He says the Boss can master some of them before retirement, if he's lucky.