BFMartin.ca

Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

2014-02-01
The Boss gets the robot to mentor the new hire because all the engineers are dysfunctional.

2014-02-02
The Jeff Bezos rule of meetings says meetings shouldn't be so large you can't feed everyone with two pizzas.

2014-02-03
The Boss learns willpower is finite. So he asks Dilbert to use it all for work and have a cake for lunch.

2014-02-04
An overweight Dilbert tells the Boss he's saving all his willpower for work. However, his condition means a twenty year reduction in life expectancy.

2014-02-05
Dilbert loses sixty pounds in a day by watching the Insanity workout video.

2014-02-06
Dilbert introduces a new employee to Alice. Alice is angry when she's stressed out and she's always stressed out.

2014-02-07
Dogbert says India has made it illegal to be gay. Asok is now officially gay.

2014-02-08
Asok can't return to India because it is illegal to be gay there.

2014-02-09
Dilbert asks Alice how to set up temporary credentials in their web services. Alice makes fun of him for not knowing already.

2014-02-10
Dilbert asks for more responsibility. The Boss says that's not a good time because he has finished Dilbert's annual review and it says the opposite.

2014-02-11
The Boss asks the engineers what they would do if a shadowy figure offers to buy company secrets. The engineers want to know how much he is offering.

2014-02-12
The CEO asks Dilbert and Wally if they want to see some leadership. Then he tells them all he will do, although doesn't actually do any of it.

2014-02-13
Leadership is setting vague goals with a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. The Boss can then dump work on engineers without them saying it doesn't fit within their goals.

2014-02-14
Alice requests a workshop on how to deal with difficult coworkers. She knows others will use tactics against her and wants to know how to thwart those tactics.

2014-02-15
Dogbert shows how to deal with difficult coworkers. Always kill jerks in ways that are untraceable.

2014-02-16
The Boss helps Dilbert add pictures to his presentation, an eagle to capture the status of his project and a pie chart to show the technology strategy.

2014-02-17
The Boss gets up at 4 AM because successful people do. He then takes a power nap in the hallway.

2014-02-18
The Boss is trying to get by on five hours of sleep per night. Carol says that lowers functional intelligence.

2014-02-19
Dilbert says cryonics will allow him to preserve his brain until the point where he can live forever in a robot body. He doesn't want to, though.

2014-02-20
Dilbert wants to make sure he does not live forever in a robot body. So he asks Dogbert to make sure he's dead before that happens.

2014-02-21
Wally's secret to a rewarding work-life balance. He has no life so keeps it balanced by doing no work.

2014-02-22
The Boss shows up to the office in disguise, pretending to be a new employee. Alice is discussing ways to kill the Boss.

2014-02-23
Dilbert asks the presentation attendees if there are objections to his plan. One employee says there is a non-zero chance of problems so it shouldn't be done. The employee realises he is an idiot.

2014-02-24
The Boss appears in the office in disguise. He talks with Carol who says she put spider eggs in her Boss's coffee.

2014-02-25
The CEO sets a goal to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert asks if there are goals involving making their customers happy.

2014-02-26
The Boss asks Ted to give a speech to ten thousand people at a conference. Ted gets stressed.

2014-02-27
Dilbert accomplished all the goals the Boss set for him. But he didn't accomplish any secret goals.

2014-02-28
Wally's goals for the year were to drink lots of coffee and disrespect authority.