The Boss opens the floor for brainstorming ideas. Dilbert suggests they ignore all studies that say brainstorming doesn't work.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss says Tina didn't write up the best ideas from the brainstorming session.
The CEO says they can only succeed when they treat each other with respect. Then he gets upset because he thinks Dilbert is recording him.
Dilbert complains his good cables are stolen from the lab and are replaced with defective ones. He has to waste hours stealing them back.
Dilbert asks Alice who constantly keeps taking his good cables from the lab and replacing them with defective ones.
Alice tries to shut down Skype on her desktop.
Dilbert asks the Boss why he has to carry a company phone plus his own phone. Maybe because company policy was written by time-traveling chimps from the fifties.
The Boss thanks himself for providing great leadership on the project. The others did OK too, but only because he threatened to fire them.
Dilbert says he doesn't like his tasks at work, nor the people, or the commute, the money is not good enough, plus he's not improving the world.
A vendor says his device is 100% compatible with Dilbert's system even though he doesn't know which system it is.
Dilbert shows off a new biometric sensor on the company's new smartphone prototype.
The Boss says anyone whose phone rings during this meeting will be fired immediately. Then his own phone rings.
The Boss works while listening to Dilbert because he's good at multitasking.
The company's new strategy is to lower their prices to increase sales. This will cut their profit margin to zero by starting a price war, Dilbert says.
The Boss sees himself as a Steve Jobs.
Wally convinces the Boss to wear a helmet by saying their competitors developed technology for reading brain waves at a distance.
Wally has something the experts call "sitting disease" and plans to walk around and drink coffee to combat it.
Alice thanks a man for being flexible in negotiations. He's a good sport, or good loser, or just a loser.
Dilbert tells a woman he's an engineer so has excellent employment potential and can fix things around the house. She wants to know about his social skills.
Wally says the Boss's job is to match employees with the right assignments. Wally's projects failed which means the Boss did a terrible job.
Dilbert has no creativity because the Boss's management style drains all his energy to stay out of trouble.
The CEO thanks the engineers for their project updates. He didn't understand any of their technical talk, but that didn't matter.
A great leader hires good people and gives them freedom to do their jobs. However, the Boss doesn't have the budget to hire good people, so he has to micromanage the half-wits that he can afford.
The Boss drinks coffee with Wally and Dilbert and says wise things about business. The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions, he says.
Dogbert offers to sell the rights to use Linux for one million dollars, then pay for every upgrade.
Wally tells the Boss lazy people are the best because they find shortcuts. Wally, however, is useless, not lazy.
The company's Christmas party will be in January because December is too busy.
A government man tells Wally they've been monitoring his Internet activity. Half his department went blind from it.
The government uses Wally's browser history as a firewall against Elbonian hackers. Anyone who looks at it will become blind and crazy.
The Boss wants thought diversity, so looks for that in his hiring. Alice says he'll end up with people who can't agree.