The Boss asks Dilbert for yet another task but does not set priorities. So Dilbert will devote 3.7% of his energy to it.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss receives an offer to base jump from the international space station.
The Boss says an interview candidate reminds him of Alice years ago. She was happy until she started working there.
Alice complains to Asok for a meeting that stole an hour of her life. She now claims him as an indentured servant.
Alice says she can control reality by creating fake websites and manipulating search engine results.
The company will no longer supply free beer on Fridays. It started as team building, but degenerated into forklift jousting in the warehouse.
Dilbert is concerned about the ten thousand hours of practice to be good at anything. Dogbert thinks anyone doing the same thing for ten thousand hours has a mental disorder.
Dilbert didn't do the assignment the Boss wanted because the Boss didn't describe it well. There was an unclear e-mail and no answers to followup questions.
The Boss and Dilbert do some corporate yoga, to make themselves more into leaders.
Dilbert works at home one day and Dogbert doesn't like it. So Dogbert interrupts Dilbert constantly asking him to check his social media.
A co-worker says he enjoys restoring old cars. Dilbert and Wally think that's a very useless hobby.
The Boss says the secret of good managing is to hire people smarter than him. He'll try that next time.
The CEO says the company must form an emotional bond with their customers. Wally wants to know if fantasising counts.
Note: On his blog, Scott Adams says this is his favourite type of humour even if it's not popular with readers.
The Boss stops by and asks Dilbert how it's going. Dilbert responds he has a high workload and long hours.
Next week all the meetings will be "stand-ups". Dilbert asks if the root causes of problems can be traced to chairs.
The CEO tells the Boss employees with "values" must be empowered. So the company needs "values".
An interface designer tells Dilbert he hasn't started making changes yet. Instead, he did work for people who yelled at him every day.
The Boss says everyone should have a sense of urgency. Wally uses most of his energy pretending to work, but he can add fake urgency if needed.
The Boss tells Dilbert new software will interrupt him every five minutes to prevent carpal tunnel.
The CEO says a leader should admit when he's wrong. But it won't work for him because he's never wrong.
Dilbert looks at NASA's asteroid tracking satellite and sees one headed toward earth.
The company is the low bidder on the new asteroid intercept missile. The fate of earth depends on them.
The company built a nuclear rocket to blast incoming asteroids but it's delayed because they didn't use the corporate font on the nose cone.
Dilbert invites Asok to the code mocking. A new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's code in a public way.
Dilbert says the new product has lots of new features the engineers suggested and now it's worthlessly complex.
The corporate lawyer says the company is being sued for patent infringement by a small company.
Dogbert, ergonomic consultant, says standing is good.
The Boss says he's a natural leader because of his communication skills. Dilbert doesn't understand why the Boss is talking.