Dilbert asks a DBA to make some simple changes to the database, then Dilbert comes up with reasons why the DBA will refuse.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
A co-worker explains the side effect of his prescriptions -- drowsiness and phantom-hand syndrome.
A doctor gives Dilbert a prescription because the pharmaceutical rep is smoking hot.
Dilbert explains to his date he got his wings from a drug side effect. But he can take her on a moonlight flight.
Catbert wants to kill Dilbert because Dilbert grew wings.
The doctor gives Dilbert more pills to get rid of his wings.
Dilbert asks others in the meeting to ignore his wings and halo, then lies about project delivery.
A co-worker hijacks a conversation by telling irrelevant stories.
Dilbert complains his house value has fallen. Topper brags he paid money for Elbonians to take his house.
Dilbert says there's no use to negotiate a contract because it would be obsolete before completion.
The Boss's age group has destroyed hopes for Asok's generation, Asok complains.
Wally suddenly starts caring about the quality of his work, but soon fixes that.
Note: This strip is #8 on Scott's list of 10 favourite strips.
The Boss says others must pick up the slack when Wally doesn't pull his weight.
A prospective employee says he has a large family and will potentially have to spend lots of time at funerals, graduations and weddings.
Dilbert meets a customer but won't shake hands because of fears of diseases.
Ted asks for training to keep up with technology trends and the Boss uses that as an excuse to fire him.
Dogbert the CEO says the company will do Internet news by summarising other sites and provide links.
The Boss asks Dilbert to implement cloud computing so he can talk about it at the executive meeting.
Mordac says cloud computing is no good because data is not safe.
Dogbert the CEO gives Floyd the janitor a C-level title.
Dogbert the CEO gives out a C-level title to the head of Human Resources.
Dilbert says because there are no raises or layoffs this year, he can be more rude to the Boss.
A vendor rep says their hidden costs are better than any competitor.
Dogbert starts to use Twitter because everything that pops into his head is fascinating.
The Boss wants employees engagement, but doesn't know what that means except for working harder for the same pay.
The Boss wants Carol to feel emotionally invested in the company. Carol says her only emotion is anger.
Dilbert complains to a co-worker he didn't understand anything she said and he wasn't allowed to ask questions.
Ted's security background check came in. The Boss is to beat him to death with a binder.
Dilbert's new project manager will either come down on him for doing a bad job or feel threatened by him for doing a good job.
Wally tells the Boss he will be going to work for the director of the top secret research group.