Ratbert says he's always wrong about everything. Dogbert advises him to shop because the customer is always right.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Ratbert tries to buy snow tires for a refrigerator in a lingerie shop.
The Boss asks Dilbert to bring him solutions instead of problems.
Wally prevents Asok from talking directly with the VP of Sales. He must use the chain of command instead.
A sales rep says the quoted price includes everything. Dilbert asks about taxes, shipping, cables, upgrades, maintenance and insurance.
Alice suggests Dilbert check with Ted to see if he knows about that sort of thing.
The Boss says their new strategy has never worked for anyone before, so will give them the element of surprise.
Dilbert says he needs a bar code scanner to finished his lab tests. The Boss gives him many hurdles to clear before getting one.
The Boss asks when Dilbert can provide his status report for the project.
A new co-worker said everything was done better at his old company.
Tina asks Wally for comments on her article. Wally puts her off with excuses.
Asok must fill in at tech support for a few days. His job will be to slow the customer down.
The Boss doesn't understand anything Dilbert does, so assumes it's all useless.
Asok tries to develop a good attitude about his work, even busywork.
Mordac believes security is more important than usability and in a perfect world, no one could use anything.
Mordac shows Dilbert the newest biometric scanner, a head clamp to make him scream.
Dilbert talks to students on career day. Engineers explain things to idiots. Then idiots misinterpret things engineers say.
Dogbert offers two alternatives. Lies for $400 per hour or the truth for $200.
Dilbert wants to order pens. Carol says it's impossible because it takes a pen to fill in the form to order pens.
A co-worker says the backup server is overkill. Dilbert says the document says the opposite.
The company will become more family-friendly. And they'll be openly hostile to single people.
Carol wants to take advantage of the family friendly policy by looking after her kids.
Dilbert asks a job candidate why they should hire a person who has lots of spelling errors on his resume.
The Boss asks Dilbert to do something but doesn't have time to explain what it is properly.
The Boss says they'll try agile programming. No more planning or documentation. Just write code and complain.
The Boss says Tina's pay will be based on the number of pages she writes. So she says she'll produce a high volume of low quality pages.
Tina produces lots of writing. It was easier after she realised accuracy and clarity are optional.
Wally grows a goatee. He's using his powers of extreme uncoolness to make others' goatees go away.
Dogbert's tech support says he's never seen the caller's problem before, so he must be a liar or crazy.