Rebels threaten to attack the Elbonian factory unless they get a million dollars. Dilbert negotiates.
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Dilbert negotiates with the Elbonian rebels so they won't attack the factory.
The Boss brings Dilbert along to the CEO meeting in case of technical questions. The Boss says to be completely honest.
Dilbert reaches an agreement with the Elbonian rebels. The rebels get stock instead of a ransom.
The company is funding terrorists. Very indirectly and not the bad kind of terrorists.
The new dress code is a thin film of oil so they can fit twenty people in a cubicle.
The company has given up trying to win one of the "best places to work" awards.
A co-worker turns 50 and says he never felt better.
Asok can't get the necessary software to do his job so must share a computer with someone else who has it.
Is Dilbert's plan consistent with the corporate strategy? He doesn't know as he's never seen the strategy.
Wally mapped and gapped the requirements to consolidate everything into a program of work.
The CEO makes meetings go faster by saying opinions are treason.
The CEO wants everyone to be passionate for their jobs. His is working everyone like a rented mule.
The Boss wrote his password on his forehead and wants Dilbert to read it.
The Boss wants a productivity simulation of half the workforce is lost due to a pandemic.
Everyone must charge to the appropriate project code, or lie if their project is unfunded.
Dilbert is annoyed by whistling so summons Alice to handle the situation.
To save the environment Dogbert gives bad career advice to get a person fired and no longer commutes.
Dogbert advises to stop eating, breathing, driving, defecating and procreating. And start decomposing.
Dogbert recommends slamming SUVs into hybrids to get them off the road altogether.
Dogbert starts collecting methane from Wally, enough to power a small building.
Asok can't get Alice's attention because he's not important.
Asok's central nervous system starts to atrophy.
Dilbert wants to hit himself with a hammer rather than running a paper by an attorney.
A new hire has too many personal problems.
Nancy is in love with a medical school cadaver.
Nancy eats too much licorice and diet soda and has joined Al Qaeda.
Dogbert, career counsellor, advises a client to do something he loves.
Dogbert, career counsellor, says a client has no marketable talent and is unemployable.
A man with a degree in flower arranging wants to be a billionaire.