Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

Downsized employees are to receive Catbert's DVD that teaches them to live off the land.
Downsizing, reorganisation, DVD, teach, live off the land, successful, shoplift, running, television, Catbert, Wally, Alice, employee

Wally claims his weekly report is full of tales of success.
Office Politics, Wally report, bristling, tale, success, worthless, marketing, specific, confirmed, location, harmful advice, sales, rush, e-mail, ignore, focus, priority, budget, estimates, format, written objectives, Wally, Boss, Dilbert

Carol is made the Director of First Impressions.
Start of saga: Carol, the Director of First Impressions
Secretary, promotion, director, first impression, pro tem, pay off, office, lobby, receptionist, Boss, Carol, visitor

Carol explains to a visiting salesman she's really a director.
Secretary, receptionist, director, first impression, printer cartridges, CEO, HP, Carly Fiorina, Carol, salesman

Carol explains to a deliveryman she's not a receptionist.
Secretary, receptionist, attractive, position, heading, yum yum, Carol, delivery man

Carol realises she's a receptionist.
Secretary, receptionist, director, first impression, walrus, e-mail, Carol, visitor

The Boss announces their new strategy. He calls it a strategy so his people won't lose hope.
Management, strategy, fewer units, higher margins, different, cutting costs, hope, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice

The Boss announces their new strategy of buzzwords to see how it makes his people feel.
Management, differentiating, value added, strategy, transformational, change, feel, urge, hurl, Boss, Alice, Dilbert

Asok invites the I.T. department to upgrade his non-standard computer.
Policy, IT department, upgrade, computer, non-standard, equipment, hide, printer, monitor, cleanse, non-conformance, heal, abacus, spiderweb, cobweb, Asok, Dilbert, Alice, IT person

Dogbert creates software to help small investors pick stocks.
Start of saga: Dogbert's stock-picking software
Dogbert-Schemes, software development, programming, small investors, pick, stock, past trends, indicative, future, hubris, ignorance, testimonials, results, typical, Dogbert, Dilbert

Dogbert decides his stock-picking software needs more features.
Dogbert-Schemes, software, stock, pick, features, module, hair grow, bald, rat, test, buttocks, proof, bathrobe, breakfast, clipboard, Dogbert, Dilbert, Ratbert

Dilbert asks Dogbert if he ever feels guilty for conning people out of their money.
Philosophy, moneybags, guilty, feel, scam, innocent, same thing, smarter, arrogance, cancel, guilt, system, Dilbert, Dogbert

The Boss must mark his territory by insisting on a change to the prototype product.
Leadership, mark, territory, insist, change, prototype, wireless, Internet, option, design, Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally

Asok performs a statistical analysis and finds no correlation between his efforts and his rewards.
Benefits, statistics, analysis, correlation, effort, reward, randomness, desperate, absurd, devoid of purpose, lost, pay, purchase, unnecessary, merchandise, lactation, shopping, mood, Asok, Wally

Dilbert asks the Boss for a new computer, but he must justify it first.
Management, computer, slow, upgrade, cost-benefit analysis, alternative, vice president, approval, second job, paper hat, vest, fast food, Dilbert, Boss, Dogbert

Dilbert visits a massage therapist who doesn't want to touch him.
Health, certified massage therapist, medical, questionnaire, touch, one hand, ballpoint pen, click, muscles, pen pal, masseuse, Dilbert, Dogbert

A co-worker with a crazy glare asks Dilbert for some useless information.
Office Politics, yield numbers, discontinued, chips, choose, rude, useless, crazy glare, consider, co-worker, Dilbert

The Boss can't promote Tina because her salary is too low.
Start of saga: Tina gets a new supervisor
Management, promote, salary band, current pay, raises, capped, hire, outside, train, supervisor, Boss, Tina

Tina is introduced to her new supervisor.
Office Politics, supervisor, train, new boss, bonus, family, sexist, chauvinist, gay, homosexual, civil union, marriage, adoption, dating, rugby team, Boss, Nelson, Tina

Tina trains her new supervisor.
Training, manager, new boss, real work, uninformed decisions, sociopath, egomaniac, fidget, harrumph, Tina, Nelson

Dogbert wants to open an art gallery with a full bar.
Start of saga: Dogbert's art bar
Dogbert-Schemes, plan, art gallery, full bar, putrid, specialise, price, synergy, booze, Dogbert, Dilbert, drunk

Dogbert sells dreadful art to people after getting them drunk.
Dogbert-Schemes, art bar, painting, dreadful, rat, lucky guess, midnight, drunk, Dogbert, bar patron

The Boss demands his people learn change is good.
Management, learn, change, good, smiley face, emoticon, question, best interest, shareholders, favourite part, yell, ruin, slogan, logic, snort, coffee, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice

Wally gives stress advice to Alice.
Start of saga: Due to stress, Alice jumps out a window
Overwork, project, stressful, worst, could happen, pep talk, window, suicide, jumped, Wally, Alice, Dilbert

The Boss asks Alice for the status of her stressful project.
Management, status, project, incompetence, others, jump, window, dumpster, issues, garbage, hair, Boss, Alice, Dilbert

Carol e-mail flames a columnist for misusing the word "dongle."
Start of saga: Carol flames a newspaper columnist
Personal, writer, author, columnist, technical term, dongle, e-mail, boycott, newspaper, flame, Carol, Boss

The columnist Carol e-mail attacked responds.
Personal, scathing, letter, e-mail, misuse, dongle, intoxicated, verbal superiority, sad life, meaning, alive, nutbag, dictionary, apology, laptop computer, moustache, Carol, columnist, Dilbert

Alice goes to plan "B" for attacking the columnist: accuse him of hating minorities.
Personal, response, newspaper, columnist, misuse, dongle, wrong, apologise, accuse, hate, minority, Alice, Dilbert

Dilbert sees through a vendors claims of supplying all features on time with extras.
Vendor, build, software development, features, extras, start late, deadline, unfinished, important, deal, Dilbert, vendor

Dilbert gives the Boss his vacation schedule.
Vacation, schedule, plan, accrue, quit, afraid, question, answer, upbeat, Dilbert, Boss, Dogbert

Catbert chides Alice for eating at her desk.
Start of saga: Catbert, the furry log
Management, eat, desk, steal, working, lunch, furry log, term of endearment, nickname, insult, Alice, Catbert