Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

The new hire is warned about Wally in the employee orientation.
Dating, stalk, new hire, employee orientation, workplace hazards, Alice, Wally, Dilbert, woman

A co-worker doesn't take Dilbert's hint he's ready for the meeting to end.
Meeting, papers, hint, signal, Dilbert, co-worker, Dogbert

Dilbert suggests a money saving idea, but the Boss demands a written business case and full analysis.
Management, consolidate, sublet, space, business case, risks, drivers, Dilbert, Boss

Carol doesn't allow the Boss to have meetings anymore.
Secretary, schedule, meeting, madness, e-mail, telephone, disconnected, cables, Carol, Dilbert, Boss

The Boss wants to talk about what Dilbert has done, but then leaves him hanging.
Start of saga: Dilbert is left hanging and time freezes
Management, telephone, hanging, wristwatch, time, stopped, frozen, freeze, Dilbert, Boss

Time stops for Dilbert while the Boss is on the phone.
Management, time, stopped, bad news, invent, language, beard, eternity, Dilbert, Boss

Dilbert tells his date how he grew his beard while waiting for the Boss to get off the phone.
Dating, beard, restaurant, wine, telephone, exercise, discipline, menu, cigar, suspenders, Dilbert, Dilbert's date, waitress

Dilbert plans to give up all forms of hygiene.
Personal, time, shaving, beard, hygiene, telecommuting, toenails, Dilbert, Wally

Dilbert decides to shave off his beard.
Management, shave, beard, telephone, envelope licker, story, anecdote, Dilbert, Dogbert, Boss, Alice

Catbert plans a goodbye party for those being downsized.
Personnel, goodbye, party, downsize, t-shirt, special guests, cake, Catbert, Dilbert, Asok, Boss, Wally, Alice, downsizee

The Boss hires an alien for a job that is immediately outsourced.
Management, alien, gullible, nebula, relocate, family, spaceship, outsource, severance package, reference, Boss, Proxis, Dilbert

Wally is into his fifth month with no written objectives.
Philosophy, written objectives, philosopher, freedom, help, hiding, Wally, Boss, Dilbert

The Boss wants Dilbert to negotiate the sale of part of their business.
Start of saga: Dilbert the business negotiator
Business, negotiate, sale, voice activated, hassock, footrest, ottoman, lie, omissions, misdirections, exaggerations, optimism, documents, explanations, grey area, ignorance, Boss, Dilbert

Dilbert starts negotiating the sale of part of their business.
Business, negotiate, authorised, offers, phraseology, lie, sweat, Dilbert, buyer

Dilbert does a lousy job negotiating.
Business, negotiate, opening offer, accept, ruin, Dilbert, buyer

Dilbert brings the negotiations to an end.
Business, negotiate, contract, expenses, legal liabilities, revenue, patents, public credit, swimming pool, bare hands, spoon, Dilbert, buyer

Dogbert observes the Company's stock goes down whenever Dilbert does anything.
Investment, stock, plunge, news, acquire, shares, motionless, remote control, Dogbert, Dilbert

Catbert gives the Boss an idea for motivating the staff.
Leadership, motivation, threat, belittle, humiliation, promises, berate, slogans, posters, bully, praise, raise, trophy wife, yell, purple, Boss, Catbert, Carol

Catbert announces stock options are to be replaced with a bonus system.
Benefits, stock options, bonus, happiness, kindness, management, gullible, investors, hairball, Catbert, Dilbert, Wally, Boss, Asok

Catbert recommends hiring feral employees.
Start of saga: The feral employee
Personnel, afford, budget, trained employees, alley, creamer, cage, Boss, Catbert, feral employees

The Boss hires a feral employee.
Personnel, feral employee, inexpensive, cheap, untrained, bite, eat, run away, Boss, Dilbert, Will

The Boss assigns Wally to teach the new feral employee how to use indoor plumbing.
Training, feral employee, chance, risk, regret, professional, indoor plumbing, newspaper, restroom, bathroom, Boss, Wally, Will

A woman likes the new feral employee because he's a challenge.
Dating, feral employee, untamed, challenge, bicycle pants, mow, lawn, woman, Will, Dilbert, Asok, Wally

The new feral employee complains marketing wouldn't him the products specs.
Marketing, feral employee, product specs, dumpster diving, french fry, Will, Boss, Dilbert

The VP of marketing describes their new "bet the company" strategy.
Marketing, bet-the-company, strategy, advertising, talking, squirrel, Norwegian Accent, fraud, Boss, marketeer, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Asok

The Boss forgets how many quarters are in a year.
Management, quarters, year, leap year, penny, board meeting, smart, Boss, Carol

A co-worker asks Dilbert to lunch to propose a pyramid scheme.
Entrepreneur, lunch, opportunity, pyramid scheme, multi-level marketing, diet, Bible, Dilbert, co-worker

Dilbert announces their plan to generate electricity from their founder spinning in his grave.
Engineer, founder, copper wire, tombstone, headstone, magnet, business practises, spin, grave, electricity, Dilbert, Boss, Wally

Dilbert got a bonus for being under budget.
Budget, bonus check, effort, reward, results, luck, delay, Dilbert, Alice

Wally's excuse for being late is because his car wouldn't start.
Work Avoidance, late, tardy, car, start, cold, warm, wind chill factor, Wally, Boss, Dilbert

Dogbert's tech support starts by blaming the problem on another company.
Tech Support, Dogbert's tech support, problem, product, services, determine, answer, pretend, telephone headset, Dogbert, man