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The Boss says the company needs to tell the employees about the pending merger.
Communication, merger, news, extra work, reason, tax, Boss, Catbert

Wally reads in the paper a report about the company merging with an evil company that plans downsizing.
Management, merger, newspaper, downsizing, anger, quote, valuable, Wally, Boss, Dilbert, Alice

Wally wants to break into subgroups to create a process for choosing the next meeting time.
Meeting, sub groups, process, usual time, loose cannon, label, hackneyed phrase, cut now, measure later, Wally, Alice, Dilbert, Boss, Asok

The Boss says an apple will remind them of their core values. Dilbert observes an apple's core is usually thrown away.
Management, apple, core values, respect, customer service, teamwork, throw away, stem, loyalty, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice

A doctor says Alice has a case of carpal punchel syndrome and can't use her fist of death for a few weeks.
Health, carpal punchel syndrome, fist of death, foot of death, menace, stethoscope, carpal tunnel syndrome, doctor, Alice, Wally, Asok

A woman asks for Dilbert's phone number, and he over-supplies.
Dating, telephone number, party, home, cell phone, e-mail, web site, fax, voicemail, wine, skeleton, woman, Dilbert

Asok wants to move to an empty, full-size cubicle. The Boss says interns only get half-size cubicles.
Management, cubicle, move, empty, half-size, downsizing, budget, Asok, Boss

Dogbert wakes Dilbert up so he can go to work and earn money.
Family, bed, wake up, trudge, money, lights, shower, pyjamas, Dogbert, Dilbert

Dogbert brags about being retired while Dilbert still has to earn money.
Family, retired, banging head against a wall, money, social infrastructure, guilt, wag, Dogbert, Dilbert

Dilbert is proud to be part of a vibrant global economy.
Professional, worker, global economy, vibrant, reformat, disguise, objective, zesty, Dilbert, Carol

Dilbert is developing an insincere optimism to complement his artificial sense of urgency.
Professional, insincere optimism, sense of urgency, delusion, challenge, money, idea, engineer, Dilbert, Boss, Wally

A product trainer says the company takes pride in its product line.
Training, product, pride, painful boils, relatively satisfied, customers, trainer, Dilbert, Wally

The Boss tells Dilbert to take his feet off his desk. Dilbert wonders if that's an example of random management.
Management, feet, desk, recline, random management, stock value, Boss, Dilbert

The Boss sketches a logo and asks the creative department to do something with it.
Management, brilliant, creative department, design, logo, artist, master's degree, graphics arts, crud, symmetrical, goatee, Boss, artist

A news report says working with stupid or evil people causes heart disease.
Note: strips start to be copyrighted as "Scott Adams, Inc."
Health, research, evil, stupid, heart disease, stupidiousness, witty banter, heart attack, television, news reader, Dilbert, Dogbert

The Boss says lots of people want Dilbert's job. He calls this motivation.
Management, woods, shake a tree, chat, motivation, headcount, engineer, Boss, Dilbert

Dilbert realises the merger will break the connection between his performance and his rewards.
Professional, merger, obliterate, performance, reward, wet ropes, ears, Dilbert, Dogbert

Alice decides to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger in the hopes her productivity will be rewarded.
Start of saga: Alice is laid off
Downsizing, strategy, paranoid beaver, merger, productivity, reward, downsizing, bald, glasses, Alice, manager, Boss, Wally

The Boss has a hard time telling Alice she has been downsized.
Downsizing, language, spare time, word, Boss, Alice

Catbert tells Alice about her severance package.
Downsizing, severance package, laugh, purr, spittle, future, hair, Alice, Catbert

Carol collects money for future gag gifts. One big collection instead of many small ones, she says.
Office Politics, collect, gag gifts, birthday, baby shower, retirement, promotion, paper bag, flush, toilet, sectional sofa, engineer, Carol, Dilbert

Dogbert counsels Alice after her downsizing. He reviews her resume and the type of job she's seeking: punching a short stocky guy with pointy hair.
Downsizing, career counselling, mad, resume, seek, punch, pointy hair, kick, consider, Dogbert, Alice

Wally suggests to Alice her next career could be to marry a rich guy.
Downsizing, career, marry, rich man, personality, goodbye hug, squeeze, Wally, Alice, Dilbert

Carol schedules Alice's goodbye lunch for a time when Alice can't make it.
Downsizing, goodbye lunch, gag gift, retire, wrinkle cream, Carol, Alice, Asok

Alice thinks the good thing about being downsized is not having to shave her legs.
Downsizing, shave legs, couch, Sasquatch, Haagen Dazs, television news, stubble, Alice, news reader

The Boss says they will rehire some of the downsized people because business is picking up.
Downsizing, rehire, dulled instincts, dress, upside down, engineer, Boss

The Boss sends Dilbert to a product awareness class.
Training, product awareness class, hand-on training, problem, head in a vice, attack, Boss, Dilbert, trainer

The Boss hires his wife to be the new receptionist. She starts ordering Dilbert to do personal tasks.
Management, receptionist, problem, nepotism, dipweed, bagel, cappuccino, dance, lobby, wash car, fill, gas tank, Boss, Boss's wife, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, Asok

The CEO orders the company headquarters to be moved closer to his home.
Start of saga: Office Relocation Project, Asok's first project
Project, headquarters, relocate, home, CEO, justification, expense, quip, eat mud and die, hummer, stock options, meeting, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

Asok is in charge of the Office Relocation Project, ORP. It's his first project.
Project, Office Relocation Project, study, method, step one, corner, scream, bright light, Asok, Dilbert

Asok panics about the office relocation project. He says it is going very badly.
Project, Office Relocation Project, problem, possession, panic, lost, telephone service, worry, Asok, Dilbert, Alice, Boss, Wally