The Boss tells Alice she takes on too much work, she blames others and is always angry.
Performance Review, problem, too much work, blame, angry, Boss, Alice
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Wally reports on his project status using generalities and without really having done anything.
Project, status, bandwidth, organic growth, push back, sidebar, ducks in a row, back burner, manage expectations, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
The Boss tells Wally people have complained about him taking conference calls in the men's room.
Management, complaint, conference call, men's room, idiosyncrasies, care, invite, newspaper, Boss, Wally
The Boss explains they're not level conscious at their company.
Management, level conscious, VP, secretary, equal, direct eye contact, Boss, employee
Dilbert complains Bill is being a bottleneck.
Project, input, busy, polite, document, pile, Dilbert, Bottleneck Bill
Bottleneck Bill needs to approve all purchases even though he's too busy to approve anything.
Office Politics, purchase order, approve, busy, system, strangle, titanium, Bottleneck Bill, Alice, Dilbert
Dogbert recommends selling their product for $1,000,029 with a $1,000,000 rebate.
Dogbert-Schemes, product, rebate, bargain, inconvenience, forget, target, rich, lazy, Dogbert, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Asok
The Boss is having problems at home and takes it out on Dilbert.
Management, problems at home, hallucinate, yell, sadistic nut, cubicle, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss hands out company shirts, but makes exceptions so nobody gets one.
Management, company shirt, handout, temp, contractor, vendor, size, downsizing, rag, morale, Boss, Catbert
Dilbert asks the Boss to remove Ted from Dilbert's project.
Office Politics, rude, unhelpful, remove, project, forward, problem, e-mail, Dilbert, Boss, Ted
A boss stalker waits by the Boss's office waiting to suck up whenever the phone calls end.
Office Politics, boss stalker, wait, telephone, suck up, unscheduled, boss stalker, Boss, Carol
The engineers are joined by the director of the only division making a profit.
Office Politics, division, meeting, profit, proximity, award, greatness, pleasure, crown, cape, sceptre, Boss, director, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss puts his most important files on top of his trashcan.
Management, organise, document, file, important, trashcan, discardation, Boss, janitor
Tina asks Wally to show her how to make changes to the skills database.
Office Politics, change, skills database, risk, avoid, work, Tina, Wally
Dilbert explains his project has had no progress and wants to fantasise about a breakthrough.
Project, progress, hope, fantasy, breakthrough, coach, performance, Dilbert, Boss
Alice thinks Wally will act as a buffer and be downsized first because his performance is so bad.
Office Politics, downsizing, performance, buffer, church, bagel, heathen, Alice, Boss, Wally
Alice is still floating coming back from her vacation. She is soon brought down to earth.
Vacation, relax, float, meeting, cover, promise, forget, furious, personal best, hair, Alice, Ted, Asok
Wally discovers the most annoying cubicle noise -- chewing crushed ice.
Office Politics, innovation, annoying cubicle noise, chewing crushed ice, crunch, refrigeration facilities, hair, Wally, Alice
An instructor for a competitive strategies seminar wants everyone to stay seated in case of an emergency, so he will have a clear path to the exit.
Training, competitive strategies seminar, housekeeping, emergency, exit, men's room, instructor, Dilbert, Wally
Dilbert wants to take training, but the Boss says to send Wally instead and have Wally tell Dilbert what he learned.
Management, training, desperate, spare, sheer artistry, mismanagement skills, awe, Dilbert, Boss
Asok doubts the Boss ever reads his status reports. The Boss says reading doesn't actually matter.
Management, doubt, status report, consider, project, business plan, budget, pile, Asok, Boss
The goal is to do more with less, although the Boss can't be more specific than that.
Management, goal, do more with less, motivation, specific, communication, Boss, Wally
Catbert says the new job applicants are desperate, so the Boss starts hitting them to see who can take the most.
Personnel, job applicant, desperate, qualify, position, pummel, soft sugar doughnut, mallet, Catbert, Boss, applicant
Catbert announces people will be relocated to the bottom of the ocean to cut costs.
Personnel, cost reduction, relocate, ocean, pressure, crush, breathe, issue, whine, Catbert, Ted, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
Wally plans to replace himself with cheap Elbonian labour.
Professional, Elbonia, labour, replace, describe, cheap, glasses, coffee mug, Wally, Dilbert, Elbonian
Dilbert's lawyer phones him and wants to think about Dilbert for a while.
Law, telephone, think, hour, regret, moustache, suspenders, Dilbert, lawyer
The Boss tests a prospective employee with a question about two chickens, a fox, a rowboat and a river.
Interview, test, fox, chicken, river, rowboat, livestock insurance, barbecue, blame, Boss, prospective employee
The Boss tells Dilbert he has edited Dilbert's document for clarity and distributed it.
Management, edit, document, clarity, accuracy, relevance, career, Boss, Dilbert
The company will make antivirus software, then secretly create a virus that can be detected only by their software.
Technology, antivirus software, secret, create, detect, spooky, Boss, Catbert
The Boss introduces Bradley, manager of executive compensation, who then plays mutual suck up with the Boss.
Management, executive compensation, pay, objective, pony, world-class observation, cash, recommend, vacation, Boss, Bradley, Dilbert, Asok, Wally, Alice