An annoying new employee meets Dilbert. Dilbert wants to hit him.
Office Politics, big guy, golf, deep desire, punch, annoying new employee, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
An annoying new employee invites Wally to go golfing in the rain at 6 AM.
Office Politics, golf, rain, sandpaper, salt, roll, score, annoying new employee, Wally
Tina wants to work three hours a week to maintain her quality of life.
Management, three hour weeks, quality of life, dive, raise, Tina, Boss
Asok complains the Boss's decisions are always different from what Asok would have done.
Management, feedback, decision, different, IQ, intuition, experience, Chinese Astrology, Asok, Boss
Catbert announces the company's 401k plan will be replaced by a 401a plan, which only pays off after death.
Professional, 401K, 401a, afterlife, odds, expected value, reward, software upgrade, charisma, math, Catbert, Dilbert, Tina, Asok, Dogbert
A consultant's firm specialises in fixing business strategies.
Consultant, specialise, business strategy, industry, toilet, mention, bribe, consultant, Dilbert
Dilbert absolutely must have Ted's input by Tuesday, but he's unreliable.
Office Politics, input, need, unreliable, yell, excuse, busy, Dilbert, Ted
Dilbert presents his business plan which shows profitability using some unlikely events.
Presentation, business plan, profitability, armoured car, spill, crash, comet, strike oil, Dilbert, Boss, Alice
The Boss says the management retreat in Hawaii was productive, but the company must downsize to pay for it.
Downsizing, retreat, Hawaii, trip, helicopter ride, productive, Boss, Ted, Wally, Dilbert
An accountant finalises last year's budget.
Budget, finalise, annual, last year, accountant, Dilbert
An accountant says he averaged the top-down budget with the bottom-up budget.
Budget, average, top down, bottom up, ignorance, cancel, optimism, despair, cruel, lie, optimism, accountant, Alice, Boss
The Boss comes in when Dilbert is trying to make a sale and ruins it.
Management, version, leapfrog, competition, product, stinkin' pile of crud, slap, Boss, customer, Dilbert
The Boss warns Dilbert to resist the tricks of a vendor's negotiator.
Management, vendor, training, resist, trick, fact, infinite liability, dating, unidentified gizmo, Boss, negotiator, Dilbert
Dogbert plans to make bumper stickers for pedestrians that give an 800 number for people to rate their walking.
Dogbert-Schemes, bumper sticker, pedestrian, how am I walking?, report, shoes, hate, idea, Dogbert, Dilbert
Carol complains Wally left a used coffee stirrer on the counter instead of throwing it away.
Office Politics, coffee stirrer, counter, wastebasket, associate, maid, power, laziness, Carol, Wally
Dilbert wonders why the Marketing department issues a press release saying they were designing a tunnel to link Europe to Denver.
Management, retreat, marketing, press release, tunnel, Europe, Denver, sprinkler system, flashback, goatee, lawn, Dilbert, manager, Boss
Dilbert shows the Boss his "tunnel shark" which can dig and convert dirt and rock into energy.
Technology, tunnel shark, dirt, rock, energy, red button, ignore, picnic, eye, butt, Dilbert, Boss, woman, man
Dilbert explains his tunnel digger has escaped from the lab and combined with an unfortunate Australian to create a cyborg.
Technology, tunnel shark, dig, prototype, escape, Perth, Australia, popular, dirt, trick, party, Dilbert, party-goer, cyborg
Alice asks Ted what is the budget for research and development. Ted says it's confidential.
Budget, research and development, confidential, kill, witty, appreciation, fake laugh, false teeth, Alice, Ted
The Boss hires a consultant to increase productivity.
Note: drawn by Lynn Johnston of For Better or For Worse.
Start of saga: guest cartoonist week
Consultant, guest cartoonist, expense, productivity, efficiency, credentials, psychology, calculate, business management, human resources, public relations, on-the-job training, Boss, Dilbert, Nildo Orbfutz, Wally
Dilbert directs a film where Rob, Bucky and Satchel dress up as Bob, Dogbert and the Boss.
Note: drawn by Darby Conley of Get Fuzzy.
Sales, guest cartoonist, film, director, dinosaur suit, idiot, Rob, Dilbert, Bucky, Satchel
Dilbert imagines himself in an office with a great ocean view.
Note: drawn by Pat Brady of Rose is Rose.
Technology, guest cartoonist, spacious office, ocean view, window, dream, environment headset, shirt, Brad Pitt, Dilbert, Wally, Boss
Dilbert wonders about where his cubicle is, and Wally reads Dilbert's horoscope.
Note: drawn by Greg Evens of Luann.
Office Politics, guest cartoonist, cubicle, horoscope, mind-altering day, Days of Our Lives, mall, black shoes, Dilbert, Wally
At Dilbert's funeral, a minister admits he was stunned with the news of Dilbert's death.
Note: drawn by Stephen Pastis of Pearls Before Swine.
Society, guest cartoonist, funeral, casket, running with scissors, stun, newspaper slots, ka-ching, sorry, minister, Rat, Pig, Alice, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert explains how he has been drifting through alternative universes, looking different each day all week long.
Note: back to being drawn by Scott Adams after guest cartoonists.
Health, guest cartoonist, drift, alternative universe, dense object, space-time fold, unforeseen problems, Dilbert, psychologist, Boss
Wally wants to extend his vacation to come back more ready to work than ever.
Management, idea, performance, boost, vacation days, recharge, leverage, advantage, retirement, holiday, coach, Wally
Wally wonders where the morning has gone, what with coming in late, eating breakfast and reading the paper.
Professional, lunch, breakfast, plumbing, newspaper, non-work, non-urgency, Dilbert, Wally
Asok is employee of the week which gives him access to the helicopter landing pad on the roof.
Management, employee of the week, access, executive helicopter landing pad, roof, hose, bird droppings, Boss, Asok
Catbert announces a choice of free cholesterol screenings or free bacon and cheese hoagies.
Health, cholesterol screening, bacon and cheese hoagies, across the hall, choice, Catbert, Alice, Wally, Dilbert
The Boss asks Carol to reformat an expense breakdown and send it out. Carol doesn't know how he wants it formatted.
Management, e-mail, expenses, format, read minds, preference, abyss, chart, Boss, Carol
Dilbert tries to explain why Rick's specifications are mutually exclusive, although it's like talking to a brick wall.
Office Politics, explain, specifications, mutually exclusive, transform, ultra light, absorb impact, brick wall, Dilbert, Rick