The engineers demand the Boss fire the new Toxic Guy. Wally mistakenly believes they're talking about him.
Management, fire, Toxic Tom, demand, lazy, ineffectual, overlay, selfish, hate, Dilbert, Wally, Alice, Boss
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dogbert answers a tech support call and demands many hoops to be jumped through before help can happen.
Tech Support, telephone handset, penetrate, inscrutable, audio menu, queue, computer, freeze, reboot, baffle, problem, optimism, name, address, telephone number, operating system, e-mail address, serial number, software version, video driver, Dogbert, Ted
Dilbert complains to the Boss his e-mails aren't answered.
Management, e-mail, respond, vicious cycle, voice-mail, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss reads a memo about the new statue by the front entrance isn't really a statue. It was someone who wouldn't stop feeding the birds.
Policy, facilities management, statue, feed the birds, statistical clustering, blah, example, Boss, Asok, Alice
Wally tells how he is adding chronic lateness to his repertoire.
Professional, chronic lateness, repertoire, excuse, car problems, traffic, mayor of loserville, jinx, Wally, Dilbert
A reporter from "Loser Magazine" comes to visit Wally.
Start of saga: Wally's Loser Magazine interview
Professional, loser magazine, reporter, cover feature, break room, nap, show-off, Carol, Wally
A reporter from "Loser Magazine" interviews Wally.
Professional, loser magazine, interview, borrow, pen, question, chew, beard, comb over, reporter, Wally
A reporter from "Loser Magazine" really likes Wally's story, but didn't write it down.
Professional, loser magazine, story, write, forget, make something up, photo, model, famous, beard, comb over, reporter, Wally
Dilbert invents the eargarette, a cigarette for ears.
Product, invention, eargarette, ear, cigarette, smoke break, deaf, ear mint, non smoker, downside, Dilbert, Dogbert, Wally, Boss
Dogbert wants to sell life insurance to Dilbert. There's a long list of exclusions.
Dogbert-Schemes, life insurance, exclusion, wound, illness, criminal act, sports, war, pistol duel, stubble, fine print, Dogbert, Dilbert
The Boss asks Carol about his no-show appointment.
Management, appointment, moron, late, respect, traffic, stuck, Boss, Carol, man
The Boss asks Dilbert why his cell phone isn't working. Dilbert says it's a short-range cell phone.
Technology, cell phone, short range, same room, answer, TV remote control, Boss, Dilbert, Asok, Wally, Alice
Wally reports on his research into Greek words for the name of their new product.
Product, research, name, Greek words, Zeus, Parthenon, sports event, Olympics, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
A customer tells Dilbert his company is moving to a just-in-time inventory strategy.
Strategy, just in time, inventory strategy, deliver, success, promise, deepest sympathy, chest pain, customer, Dilbert
Dilbert reports a customer wants the stuff they bought, but Dilbert can't deliver.
Sales, customer, deliver, lie, business, money, winner, thief, Dilbert, Boss
Asok tells how he indirectly reports to everyone in the department.
Organisation, introduce, meeting, reporting line, fuzzy, irregular, food-service cashier, Boss, Asok, Alice, Dilbert, Wally, Carol
The Boss asks the engineers for ideas for morale-enhancement day. Alice wants to play pin-the-tail-on-the-PHB.
Management, brainstorm, idea, morale-enhancement day, pin the tail, breath, smell, weekend, weasel, feet, Boss, Alice, Catbert, Dilbert, Wally
A marketing rep describes how their rebate program can't actually be used by anyone.
Marketing, rebate program, cost, impenetrable fortress, unclear instructions, hidden number, weasel, physical impossibility, serial number, marketing guy, customer, Wally, Boss
The CEO will be secretary for a day for the department that cuts the most costs.
Management, CEO, secretary, cut cost, competition, implication, trivial, prize, train, telephone, yell, Boss, Carol, Dilbert
The CEO shows up to replace Carol as secretary for a day.
Management, secretary, cost cutting, contest, failure, darkness, motivation, Boss, CEO, Carol
Dilbert tries to get user requirements from a co-worker, but the co-worker doesn't want to provide them.
Project, system, requirements, build, needs, frighten, actual work, crazy talk, Dilbert, co-worker
Dilbert complains to the Boss he can't get user requirements to start the project.
Project, requirements, start, make, unhelpful, hide, competence, Dilbert, Boss
Jimmy from Marketing tells how their next ad campaign will be aimed at sick people because 96% of their customers have had flu symptoms.
Marketing, strategy, customer, flu symptoms, sick, ad campaign, cause and effect, study, reinvent a dead horse, meeting dimension, duh-mension, Boss, Jimmy, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss asks Dilbert to "tin cup" each department, to ask for parts of their budgets.
Management, budget, tin cup, project, ask, laugh your guts out, beggar, organ, Boss, Dilbert, manager
Dogbert becomes a psychic because people believe in that kind of thing.
Start of saga: Dogbert, furniture psychic
Dogbert-Schemes, feng shui, pet psychic, career, suggest, furniture psychic, wastebasket, love, desk, bathrobe, Dogbert, Carol, Dilbert, Boss
Dogbert channels for the furniture, who communicate to the Boss.
Dogbert-Schemes, furniture psychic, chair, pass, squeak, communicate, gum, desk, swami hat, cry, Dogbert, Boss
Dilbert tries to talk Dogbert out of being a furniture psychic.
Dogbert-Schemes, furniture psychic, company, mislead, active, marketing, swami hat, hypocrite, Dilbert, Dogbert
Wally presents the Boss with a list of people who could be potentially laid off.
Downsizing, initiative, list, potential layoffs, telephone list, efficiency, Wally, Boss
The Boss receives a telling off by his boss, and passes his frustration on to Dilbert.
Management, fool, stupid, coffee mug, vice president, Boss, Dilbert
The CEO joins the meeting and attempts to be one of the ordinary people.
Office Politics, meeting, awkward attempt, just plain folk, chair, secretary, irony, helicopter, blue jeans, tractor, island fortress, fox hunt, average, real work, intern, Boss, CEO, driver, Dilbert, Asok, Wally, Alice
Dogbert the headhunter describes the quality of his CEO placements: some are better than others.
Dogbert-Schemes, headhunter, placement, CEO, performance, budget, magic 8 ball, eight ball, Dogbert, customer