Wally's family has been practising selective breeding to leave no biometric information behind.
Science, generation, male, selective breeding, offspring, biometric, pulse, fingerprint, DNA, why, lunch, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dogbert's latest plan is to sell video phones to dimwitted identical twins.
Dogbert-Schemes, plan, low cost, video phone, identical twins, long distance, mirror, girlfriend, Dogbert, twin, Dilbert
Carol tells the Boss a reporter wants to see him about dumping garbage in a park.
Science, reporter, garbage, park, possible, secret, spread, Carol, Boss
A reporter accosts the Boss about dumping garbage in a park.
Science, garbage, dump, park, SUV, vehicle, scrape, tire, television camera, microphone, wasteful, steps, skull, investigative reporter, Boss
The Boss introduces the new member of Dilbert's project team, Ron, aka Mo. Mo has his shirt on backward.
Management, member, project, team, shirt, backward, turn around, dimension, pay, grin, moron, Boss, Ron, Mo, Dilbert
The Boss asks Wally to write a self-evaluation for an upcoming performance review.
Performance Review, self evaluation, rate, core value, honesty, integrity, claim, Boss, Wally
The Boss says the paper shredding service is being centralised at corporate headquarters.
Office Services, shredder, centralise, corporate headquarters, eat, paper, take, Boss, Dilbert, Asok, Alice
The Boss wants to schedule one person to do two tasks at the same time.
Management, software, schedule, task, patch, month, timeline, floopuary, Boss, Dilbert, Alice
The engineers will try extreme programming, where two people work at one computer.
Programming, extreme programming, partner, system, computer, hate, software development, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, Asok
Dilbert looks at a feature list from a co-worker and tells her he can't create all the features in the first version.
Programming, extreme programming, feature, version, user story, ruin life, software development, Dilbert, co-worker
The Boss assigns Dilbert and Wally to work together on a code-writing team, extreme-programming style.
Programming, extreme programming, code-writing team, study, productive, whistle, nostril, harmonica, software development, Boss, Wally
Asok presents an idea to the Boss: let project managers manage their own budgets.
Management, idea, project manager, budget, big picture, ignorant, self-manage, purr in your general direction, Monty Python, tiny fist, pummel, evil, Asok, Boss, Catbert
A consultick describes his style to the Boss: burrow, suck and never leave.
Start of saga: The Consultick
Management, potential client, burrow, skin, suck cash, track record, failure, conflict of interest, red flag, consultant, hair, Consultick, Boss
The Boss introduces the consultick to his department. The Boss thinks it's OK that the Consultick gives bad advice and is indispensable.
Management, advice, burrow, torso, implement, convince, Consultick, Boss
Dogbert offers to remove the Consultick from the Boss's torso.
Dogbert-Schemes, Dogbert's Consultant Removal Service, burrow, torso, cash, wallet, operate, business card, Dogbert, Boss, Consultick
Dogbert says he can save only one life when he separates the Boss and the Consultick.
Dogbert-Schemes, consultant, life, discuss, recommend, operation, knife, Dogbert, Boss, Consultick
Dogbert tells the Boss the consultectomy operation was a success.
Dogbert-Schemes, consultectomy, operation, bed, cash, lost, wallet, transfusion, sedate, happy hour, genius, comb over, martini, unwilling donor, stethoscope, drunk, Dogbert, drunk man, Boss, Ratbert
The Boss asks Wally to do something but changes his mind after seeing Wally's aura of extreme incompetence.
Management, request, assignment, aura, radiate, incompetence, cool down, lunch, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
How to deal with new work requests when you are already overloaded at the departmental and professional level.
Management, request, scope, overload, flexible, client driven, responsibility, avoid, project, ignore, cheerful, accept, co-worker, Boss, Asok, Wally
Dogbert on Dilbert working for an unethical company: Dilbert is loathsome and despicable.
Professional, ethics, bad person, loathsome, despicable, crud, shoe, rehearse, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss asks Dilbert to build a new technology lab using the contractor with the lowest bid.
Start of saga: Lazy beaver wins bid to build technology lab
Contractor, build, technology lab, contractor, bid, problem, strategy, chance to gnaw on wood, foresee, Boss, Dilbert, beaver
Dilbert asks the beaver, lowest bidder, to begin construction on the new technology lab.
Project, bid, award, construction, skill, craftsmen, book of excuses, telephone, Dilbert, beaver
Dilbert explains to the Boss why the project is behind schedule: a lazy beaver.
Project, lazy beaver, behind schedule, contractor, excuse, return calls, plan, promise, future work, Dilbert, Boss
Dilbert says their PC operating systems need upgrading, and likens it to a form of taxation by an evil shadow government.
Technology, upgrade, PC, operating system, stable environment, application, taxation, evil, shadow government, Microsoft, Dilbert, Boss, PC
A vendor wants Dilbert to upgrade his software to the latest version. Only a million dollars.
Technology, upgrade, software, version, decompose, miasma, planned obsolescence, afford, goodbye, remote control, vendor, Dilbert
Dilbert has to idle away the time when the Boss gets interrupted by the telephone.
Management, office, visit, telephone, interruption, wait, signal, mind-body connection, idle, fiddle, muscle, control, conscious, Boss, Dilbert
Wally tells Dilbert he is leaving Dilbert's project for a more successful one.
Office Politics, bail, project, scent of failure, attach, survival, reject, loser pill, Wally, Dilbert, psychologist
Instead of giving Dilbert more project funding, the Boss hires an expensive consultant to analyse the budget.
Consultant, fund, harp, response, analyse, budget, chaos, complexity simulations, money, Boss, consultant, Dilbert
Dilbert invents the Visibuddy, a mindless replica to attend meetings and increase visibility.
Professional, invention, replica, meeting, visibility, hardly working, golf, toll, robot, android, Dilbert, Visibuddy, Boss
The Boss congratulates Dilbert on his excellent visibility lately.
Professional, visibility, secret, replica, meeting, personality, neck bolt, robot, android, Boss, Dilbert, Visibuddy
Ming asks Visibuddy, Dilbert's replica, for a date.
Dating, ask, replica, story, listen, clothing, describe, cat show, robot, android, fork, forehead, restaurant, wine, suicide, Ming, Visibuddy, Dilbert