Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

The Boss says goals will be replaced by stretch goals.
Management, goals, stretch goals, stretch pants, surrender, doughnut, Boss, Asok, Alice, Dilbert

Dilbert says budget cuts have affected their customer service centre. They have started making prank phone calls.
Customer Service, budget, service centre, prank call, elderly, records, neighbour, treasure, lawn, telephone headset, Dilbert, Boss, customer service rep

Wally describes his dreams about work to his psychologist.
Health, dream, work, sleep, freak, pill, quack, Wally, psychologist

Alice starts the meeting with a prayer.
Meeting, prayer, valley, idiot, fear, downsizing, fist of death, portfolio, clown, objection, marketable job skills, escape, heathen, Alice, Asok, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

Catbert wants to stop calling the employees "resources." Livestock or human capital seem better.
Personnel, resource, employee, complimentary, livestock, human capital, hay, demand, Catbert, Boss

An employee asks Carol to borrow her three-hole punch.
Secretary, three-hole punch, whoa, waltz, hole, clean, whack, list, assassinate, kill, murder, Ted, Carol

Catbert tells Alice she is not allowed to eat in her cubicle.
Policy, eat, cubicle, gulp, munch, vision, eye, horror, Catbert, Alice

The Boss asks the engineers to help fill the empty cubicles so they don't frighten customers.
Management, cubicle, frighten, customer, adopt, empty, Frenchman, occupy, Phil de Cube, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice

Allen, telecommuting for four years, learns he was fired four years ago.
Telecommuting, fire, e-mail, office, uninformed, Boss, Allen, Dilbert, Alice

Allen, who didn't know he was fired four years ago, thinks unemployment feels exactly like empowerment.
Telecommuting, fire, unemployment, empowerment, movie, The Sixth Sense, lunch, Allen, Dilbert, Wally

Both plans are technically impossible, but one costs less, so executives debate which is better.
Management, plan, technically impossible, cost, alternative, recommendation, difference, Dilbert, Boss, executive, Wally

Dogbert sets out to study culture in the company and make some recommendations.
Start of saga: Dogbert studies company culture in a pith helmet
Dogbert-Schemes, study, culture, pith helmet, recommendation, docile, outcast, banana, staple, tracking device, knapsack, backpack, walking stick, coffee, brown water, Dogbert, Wally

Dogbert studies how Alice stalks her prey and pounces.
Dogbert-Schemes, study, culture, hunt, female, stalk, prey, e-mail, pounce, gruesome, laugh, pith helmet, knapsack, backpack, scorch, razor sharp, Dogbert, Alice, Asok, co-worker

Dogbert presents his report on corporate culture to the Boss. It's not complimentary.
Dogbert-Schemes, study, culture, report, unmotivated, weasel, hat, knapsack, summary, pith helmet, backpack, Dogbert, Boss

The Boss introduces the ad company for the new campaign.
Advertising, Amorphous Ad Company, campaign, hire, gaseous cloud, music, noise, name, ruin, goatee, Boss, ad man, Dilbert, Wally, Alice, Asok

The ad man introduces his idea for print ads -- a shape with no text.
Advertising, print ads, shape, text, idea, green, creativity, goatee, ad man, Boss, Dilbert

Dilbert and his mom watch the new TV commercial for his company.
Advertising, commercial, information, product, ashamed, incompetent, conversation, television, Dilbert, Dilbert's Mom

Dilbert's date describes her pet peeve: when people use their cell phones in restaurants.
Dating, cell phone, pet peeve, restaurant, talk, rude, committee, common sense, gadget, drive thru, kiss, awkward, mistake, Dilbert's date, Dilbert, Dogbert

Asok has a billion-dollar idea. The Boss says the company has ownership.
Policy, sweet mother of potatoes, billion-dollar idea, own, cough, fire, sue, first, cry, Asok, Boss, Alice

The Boss tells Carol she's going to an executive bodyguard class to keep him safe.
Training, executive, bodyguard, class, pounce, kidnap, sacrifice, safe, inside help, reimburse, Boss, Carol

Wally gets mail for the first time in twelve years and is really happy about it.
Office Politics, mail, junk mail, box, glisten, Wally, Dilbert

Dilbert wonders why Wally is so excited to get a piece of junk mail.
Office Politics, mail, junk mail, mailing list, letter, validate, existence, clean win, Dilbert, Wally

Wally shows his first ever junk mail to the rest of the engineers at the meeting.
Office Politics, mail, junk mail, bulk mail, morale, WM1, Wally's Mail One, unopened, lie, Wally, Boss, Dilbert

Dilbert wants to order software but can't because the only person who knows the ordering system is on her honeymoon.
Corporate Services, order, software, CFO, Cheryl, approval, system, available, parole board, Dilbert, woman

The Boss micromanages Alice and she reacts by giving him a blood sample and a book by Erwin Schrodinger.
Management, box, blue, micromanage, blood, microscope, Erwin Schrodinger, quantum, gift, white blood cells, Boss, Alice

The Boss discovers an old five-year plan and compares it to the results.
Management, five-year plan, compare, Microsoft, dust heap, history, relegate, Boss, Dilbert

The Boss reads from a five-year-old five-year plan, and discovers a spookily-accurate prediction.
Management, five-year plan, team, investigation, accounting irregularities, spooky, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

Ted quits to go into business for himself. On the way out he calls the Boss some names.
Professional, quit, stinkin', pile of rubbish, moron, freelance web designer, self employed, Ted

Bob the dinosaur is evolving. He's hoping a light-sensitive zit will turn into an eye.
Science, greet, evolution, zit, sensitive, sunlight, eye, hope, attitude, sneak, bathrobe, positive, Dilbert, Bob

Bob shows Dogbert his zit that may become a third eye. Dogbert says it may not be a natural advantage.
Science, punctuated equilibrium, zit, evolution, eye, natural advantage, fitter dinosaurs, enemy, cigarette, Bob, Dogbert, Bullysaur

A Bullysaur attacks Bob for the zit Bob is trying to evolve into a third eye.
Science, evolution, zit, eye, natural advantage, cosmetic, topical antibiotics, Tivo, watch, Bathrobe, remote control, cigarette, Bullysaur, Bob, Dogbert, Dilbert