The Boss "hardens" Asok, where Asok gets more work than his central nervous system can handle.
Management, hardening, work, central nervous system, stiff, assignment, gaaa, apathy cream, sink in, air hole, ripen, overwork, Boss, Catbert, Asok, Wally, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss explains to Catbert why he's not signed up for the 401K.
Financial, 401K, sign up, run, 10K wheelchair race, whip, Catbert, Boss
Dilbert asks for priority between two totally worthless assignments. Alternative web-only strip: The Boss asks Dilbert to assemble a crack team for his project.
Note: A web-only strip was published this day.
Management, assignment, priority, worthless, empower, decision, hope, double-edged sword, project, assemble, crack team, competent, busy, butt cleavage, tool, circuit board, Dilbert, Boss
Dilbert thinks the company can't crush his spirit until the Boss asks him to do the ISO 9000 coordinator's job as well.
Management, work, little box, coordinator, crush my spirit, quality assurance, pale, overwork, Dilbert, Boss
Dilbert is selected to be in the "Who's Incredible" list.
Personal, selected, who's incredible, leather-bound book, gullible, success, dear occupant, Dilbert, Dogbert
Dilbert brings his copy of "Who's Incredible" to his high school reunion.
Personal, who's incredible, high school reunion, rich, gullible, party, Dilbert, ex-school mate
Dilbert describes his rise from having nothing to getting his own cubicle at his high school reunion.
Personal, high school reunion, life story, cubicle, adult, wedgie, specific, party, Dilbert, ex-school mate
The Boss asks Asok to manage the annual business plan process. Asok thinks it is a punishment.
Management, punish, manage, annual business plan, process, beg, budget, lie, ignore, unimportance, combine, CEO, magazine article, worse, senior management, Asok, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss announces they've discovered oil in an Elbonian wildlife preserve.
Start of saga: Elbonian oil drilling
Nature, oil, discover, Elbonia, wildlife preserve, endangered species, drill, oops, unicorn, Boss, Elbonian, Wally, Dilbert
Oil drilling has caused the extinction of the Elbonian unicorn, the Boss learns.
Nature, oil, drill, extinction, Elbonian unicorn, DNA sample, clone, barbecue, hamburger, grill, tin can, string, derrick, Elbonian, Boss
The Boss reports their oil wells caused the extinction of seven species in Elbonia.
Nature, oil, drill, wells, wildlife preserve, extinction, eat, grunt, species, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Protesters demand the company stop ruining the pristine beauty of Elbonia.
Nature, protest, placard, oil, drill, ruin, pristine, beauty, Elbonia, picture, argument, protester, Boss
Dilbert complains because of the tight labour market, jobs are getting harder and employees are getting dumber.
Meeting, tight labour market, complicated tasks, job, staff, dumb, logical, Dilbert, co-worker
The user requirement list is so long, the product would be unusable, Dilbert complains.
Product, user requirement, feature, complex, easy to use, Dilbert, co-worker
The company's most valuable asset is rampant ignorance, Dogbert explains.
Consultant, valuable asset, rampant ignorance, project, cost, job, customer, bug, trashcan, accident, exposure, knowledge, Dogbert, Wally, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
Catbert and the Boss decide on mandatory lunchtime meetings for the employees and high-five each other.
Personnel, mandatory, lunchtime, meeting, work-life balance, high five, bandage, claws, scratch, Catbert, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Dilbert complains his cubicle is sucking the life force out of him and faster than usual.
Personnel, cubicle, suck, life force, faster, LifeSuck 3000, Dilbert, Boss
Ted asks the rhetorical question "What's the worst thing that could happen?"
Meeting, worst thing that could happen, beta, product, evil robot, annihilate the galaxy, Ted, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Dogbert
Dilbert's date believes there is one true soul mate for every person.
Dating, belief, soul mate, person, busy, stupid, monkey, Dilbert's date, Dilbert
The Boss emphasises trust, integrity and teamwork. Wally feels a warm glow.
Meeting, company values, trust, integrity, teamwork, warm glow, unconditional love, heating vent, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Asok
Asok considers the company's core values and Wally borrows Asok's chair.
Office Politics, core values, trust, integrity, teamwork, borrow, chair, sell, E-Bay, auction, online, Asok, Wally, Dilbert
The Boss suggests a wireless fibre multipage solution to fix a software bug. Dilbert describes all the ways that solution wouldn't work.
Management, wireless fibre multipage, wrong, solution, software bug, budget, hardware, business case, yawn, IT, install, approved vendor, idea, hold the fort, coach, Boss, Dilbert
In Wally's weekly report, he describes how he struggled to maintain his morale despite the ninety percent drop in his stock options.
Meeting, staff meeting, weekly Wally report, struggle, maintain, morale, drop, stock options, lost, Wally, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss encourages Dilbert to remain optimistic even in failure.
Management, key to success, optimism, fail, point, read, page, magazine article, get back to you, Boss, Dilbert
Alice tries to fend off boredom by imagining her co-workers naked. The idea backfires.
Meeting, boredom, imagine, co-worker, naked, scream, vision, doughnut, Alice, Wally, Asok
The Boss tells Dilbert Ted was downsized and his important work is outsourced. Dilbert is to do Ted's unimportant job functions.
Downsizing, outsource, important, unimportant, because we can, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert complains to his therapist everyone is lying to him.
Psychology, couch, therapy, mental, lie, congress, budget, stock analyst, recommendation, boss, scientifically proven, 100% effective, Dilbert, psychologist
A woman asks Dilbert if he has a good job.
Society, good job, definition, decline, stock options, boss, think, laugh, party, Wine, woman, Dilbert
The Boss announces changes in the management style. Asok volunteers for a back to the nineties kick off.
Management, industry, slump, style, paternal, no name, suggestion, we hate our employees, volunteer, kick-off, wiggle, Boss, Asok, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
Wally says his next generation Internet project will be done sometime in the next generation.
Meeting, next generation, Internet, project, cute, single woman, low standards, weekly Wally report, schedule, Wally, Boss, Dilbert