Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

Wally thinks fast under pressure and makes up a status report.
Meeting, status, plan, records, protection, interview, stakeholder, encryption, liar, plan, digitise, store, centre of the Earth, Boss, Wally

Stuart, the union steward, proposes employees should not be allowed to move computers.
Policy, evil, union steward, move, PDA, laptop, giblet, suspenders, moustache, Catbert, Stuart

The Boss shows off the new office building and Asok hears voices in his head.
Professional, office, building, architecture, masterpiece, storage space, voice, experience, panic, Boss, Asok, Dilbert, Wally

Dogbert recommends a reorganisation by customer type -- like feeble-minded people.
Organisation, customer type, division, focus, feeble-minded people, guess, Dogbert, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

The Boss's philosophy is to measure twice and cut twice.
Philosophy, measure twice, cut twice, tape measure, performance review, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

Wally says executives are forgetting the Boss's name.
Office Politics, office, executive, forget, move, name, Wally, Boss, Carol

Alice said she didn't beat her co-workers, and that helped improved her co-worker's morale.
Performance Review, morale, beating, deserve, team player, improve, Boss, Alice

The CEO says the company is too good to have poor results. Dilbert says that's not logical.
Leadership, speech, podium, inspire, result, poor, question, cause and effect, logic, pathetic, loser, squirm, energy, deserve, CEO, Dilbert, Wally, Alice

Catbert tells Dilbert they can't pay him this week.
Personnel, pay, position code, align, module, responsible, problem, anonymous, note, disappearing ink, Catbert, Dilbert

Dilbert calls payroll to get his pay problem fixed.
Corporate Services, payroll, problem, help, telephone, forward, call, supervisor, Dilbert, call-forwarder

The Boss transfers Helen to the Temporary Zombie division.
Management, transfer, temporary zombie, division, plan, wedding, baby, divorce, dog, book, Boss, Helen, zombie

Wally offers Alice a stock tip. She rejects it.
Office Politics, stock, tip, loser, life, question, imply, lunch, Wally, Alice, Dilbert

The Boss introduces the new guy who is either rude or shy.
Management, new employee, name, rude, shy, Rudy, Shilo, Boss, Dilbert, new hire

Wally mocks how much sugar Alice puts in her coffee.
Office Politics, coffee, sugar, funny, Wally, Alice

Dilbert asks the Boss how he should get rid of his old computer.
Management, computer, dispose, school, hard drive, software, tax, accounting, nightmare, playground, refrigerator, idea, Dilbert, Boss

The Boss promised the Birdabon Society the company wouldn't hurt any birds.
Policy, Birdabon Society, chicken, sandwich, caterer, lunch, CPR, eat, pretend, National Audabon Society, Boss

The Boss wonders if Dilbert really did something terrible.
Management, deed, terrible, hallucinate, punish, ambiguous, trace, network, password, die, secret, Boss, network administrator, Dilbert

Dogbert offers to get the Boss some employees who were raised in dysfunctional families.
Start of saga: Dysfunctional employees
Dogbert-Schemes, Dogbert's Dysfunctional Employee Recruitment Services, family, mistreat, trunk, car, Dogbert, Boss

During an interview with a person raised in a dysfunctional family, the Boss threatens him.
Interview, dysfunctional, yell, hire, love, more, Boss, dysfunctional employee

The dysfunctional employee complains he is working too hard.
Management, work, hard, home, kiss, daughter, certain, dysfunctional employee, Boss

Catbert explains Alice is afraid of change, instead of being satisfied with her job.
Personnel, job, satisfy, think, afraid, change, purr, yell, best work, Catbert, Alice

The Boss must fire an engineer to reduce expenses because the sales force did not meet their goals.
Management, bad news, enjoy, sales, goal, fail, expense, fire, incompetent, moral, punish, hole punch, Boss, Dilbert

The Boss sees Dilbert and is surprised he still works here.
Management, surprise, work, still, bite, productivity, Boss, Dilbert

Catbert accuses Wally of using the Internet for personal reasons which is like stealing from the company.
Start of saga: Using the Internet for personal reasons.
Personnel, personal use, Internet, steal, company, Human Resources, gang, Catbert, Wally

Catbert fires Asok for using the Internet for personal reasons.
Personnel, personal use, Internet, fire, groceries, motto, you can't spell "who cares?" without HR, evil, true, Catbert, Asok

Dilbert tries to resist using the Internet for personal reasons.
Personnel, personal use, Internet, tempt, knowledge, tease, ice cream, hungry, dangle, eat, cubicle, fishing pole, Dilbert, Catbert

Catbert tells the Boss everyone has been fired because they all used the Internet for personal reasons.
Personnel, fire, Internet, personal use, wrinkle, policy, frankly, teach, web, Catbert, Boss

The Boss interviews Dilbert who was fired yesterday for personal use of the Internet.
Interview, reason for leaving, fire, personal use, Internet, crime, pay, minimum salary, accept, Boss, Dilbert

Dilbert thinks the customer service clerk is flirting with him, but it's policy for her to smile at everyone.
Retail, thank you, flirt, dating, phony, smile, customer service, great, clerk, Dilbert, Wally

Carol says her son is flunking school but she is hoping he can get a job in computers.
Office Politics, son, flunk, class, job, computer, carry, upset, fill in the blank, story, Carol, Dilbert, Dogbert

Ted begins his 30 day dance of death to find another job in the company, Catbert says.
Start of saga: Catbert spray paints "loser" on Ted.
Downsizing, thirty day, dance of death, job, spray paint, loser, Catbert, Ted