Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.

Dilbert asks why he must follow the same process that failed thirty times in a row.
Management, understand, process, fail, optimism, succeed, Dilbert, Boss

At a party, a woman asks Dilbert what he does for a living.
Dating, living, slave, command, insane, baboon, catch, party, box, woman, Dilbert

Mordac the Preventer of information services sentences Dilbert to a week without e-mail for exceeding his disk quota.
Corporate Services, disk space, server, allocation, e-mail, engineer, search, up against the wall, modem, suspenders, sentence, punishment, wireless, Mordac, Dilbert, Dogbert

Wally is to be replaced by an embryo.
Start of saga: Wally is to be replaced by a low-paid embryo.
Management, technology, young man's game, replace, low-paid, embryo, teach, Boss, Wally

Alice sees the embryo that will replace Wally.
Office Politics, embryo, replace, coffee, cute, healthy, quart, Alice, Wally

Wally complains he gets paid less than the embryo.
Office Politics, embryo, pay, fertilise, obstruct, progress, cute, take sides, Dilbert, Wally

Wally ruins the embryo's career by volunteering him to give constructive criticism to Human Resources.
Office Politics, embryo, career, volunteer, constructive criticism, human resources, attitude, Wally, Catbert

The Boss finds out what customers are saying. Dilbert says they're saying nothing.
Management, leader, customer, listen, feedback, defective, Boss, Dilbert

The Boss wants to listen to his employees no matter how much he laughs on the inside.
Management, leader, listen, employee, laugh, forced smile, Boss, Wally

Alice can hand out paperweights as a reward for positive attitudes, the Boss says.
Management, positive attitude, paperweight, reward, award, whistle, throw, pain, hit on the head, injury, Boss, Alice, Wally, Ted

The Boss complains Dilbert's project is late and over budget.
Management, project, budget, late, bungle, allocation, resource, hate, word, Boss, Dilbert, Dogbert

The Boss invites Wally to join the "After-5 Club," to think of creative ideas after work.
Management, invitation, After-5 Club, select group, creative idea, business hours, think, Boss, Wally

Tina gets tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter so she invents new bizarre crimes to write about.
Office Politics, newsletter, story, invent, bizarre, workplace, crime, media, copycat criminal, kick-start, Tina, Boss

Wally reads about bizarre crimes in the company newsletter and has the urge to copycat.
Office Politics, newsletter, bizarre, workplace, crime, copycat, lazy, parent, wise, Wally, Dilbert

The compensation of both the Boss and Catbert depends on quantity, not quality, of the employees.
Management, compensation, career, quantity, conspiracy, horde, incompetent, personnel, Catbert, Alice, Dilbert, moron

The Boss wants to hire more people to get a better title, so he eliminates the training budget.
Management, budget, training, hire, direct report, vice president, title, strategy, Boss, Dilbert

Dumb boss jokes are the rage until the Boss demonstrates they can be true.
Office Politics, dumb boss, story, postage stamp, e-mail, warm, fire wall, apologise, tape measure, distance learning, Dilbert, Boss, co-worker

The Boss wants the engineers to write the names of the good employees and put them in a hat.
Management, employee, good, names in a hat, valuable reward, comfort, Boss, Asok, Dilbert, Wally

The Boss was asked to reduce his budget so he offered a critical project knowing they couldn't accept.
Budget, reduce, department, vital, offer, funny, irony, Boss, Alice

The Boss shows off his new hobby, photography.
Personal, hobby, photography, camera, picture, flashbulb, self portrait, Boss, Dilbert

Wally says he wants to find a job where he has no impact on anything.
Professional, long-term plan, impact, inspire, swallow, hospital, stethoscope, plunder, Wally, doctor, Asok, Dilbert

The Boss offers a golf day for doing a great job.
Management, motivation, golf, pay cut, Boss, Dilbert, Wally

Wally complains he is feeling pressure to work.
Professional, pressure, work, job, QED, Wally, Boss

Dogbert recommends an ad campaign to keep people indoors, because that's where people use the company's products.
Dogbert-Schemes, ad agency, research, outdoor, indoor, ad campaign, outdoors is for losers, hummingbird, garden, attack, happy, gullible, advertising, Dogbert, Dilbert, Boss, Alice

The Boss announces the company will be merging with another company. No engineers will be downsized.
Start of saga: Tina is downsized.
Management, destroy, healthy, merger, downsize, meeting, tech writer, Boss, Tina, Wally

Tina complains to the Boss about being downsized.
Management, downsize, merger, prick, bleed, experiment, needle, tech writer, engineer, bandage, Tina, Boss, Dilbert

Tina asks Alice to teach her to be an engineer -- even if it takes all day.
Professional, job security, career, secret, scam, engineer, Tina, Alice

Alice says it takes too long to learn to be an engineer.
Professional, training, engineer, skill, unskilled labour, year, Boss, Alice, Tina

Tina enrols in Dogbert's accelerated management course.
Training, Dogbert's Accelerated Management Course, enrol, chequebook, final exam, question, date, Tina, Dogbert

The Boss can't give Alice a raise because she came to work on a vacation day.
Management, raise, vacation, permission, empower, change, Boss, Alice

The Boss asks Dilbert to merge the strategies from silo teams to form a coherent company plan.
Strategy, strategy, silo, team, merge, coherent, company plan, loser, mutually exclusive, Boss, Dilbert