Dogbert's Tech Support says their product is incompatible with all hardware and all software.
Tech Support, database, compatible, incompatible, poison ivy, telephone, Dogbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dogbert defers to Ratbert about how to compensate for having a tiny brain.
Tech Support, support call, brain, learn, expert, telephone, Dogbert, Ratbert
Dogbert answers a support call about trying three menu choices.
Tech Support, support call, menu choice, memo, telephone, Dogbert
The engineers can't coordinate going to lunch.
Office Politics, lunch, wait, telephone, coordinate, restaurant, peace, missile, chain reaction, restroom, bathroom, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Ted, Boss
The Boss announces adopting the best practises of the Japanese model.
Management, Japan, best practises, long-term investing, karaoke, lifetime employment, microphone, sing, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss puts Dilbert in charge of the ISO 9000 certification processes.
ISO 9000, certification, brochure, lie, process, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert welcomes attendees to the ISO 9000 certification project kick-off meeting.
ISO 9000, certification, kickoff meeting, hand-picked, Dilbert
Dilbert describes the plan for being ISO 9000 certified.
ISO 9000, certification, process, poorly written document, binder, raccoon, department heads, presentation, diagram, projector, Dilbert
Dogbert says a high-income group is the only one that can afford to buy their product.
Marketing, target market, high-income group, tasteless, easily amused, golf, presentation, diagram, cluster, Dogbert, man
The Boss brings up the employee satisfaction average score.
Management, employee satisfaction, grumpy, morale, touchy-feely, average, Boss
The Boss says the employee of the month will have a parking spot just behind the managers.
Management, employee of the month, park, important, train, Boss, Wally, Alice, Dilbert
A technician checks the building for environmental hazards.
Corporate Services, environmental hazards, tired, nervous, disorientation, career, breath mask, goggles, gizmo, environmental technician, Dilbert
Ratbert follows Dilbert around to become an engineer.
Engineer, annoying rodent, career, marketing, engineer, briefcase, Ratbert, Dilbert
Ratbert is interviewed for a position in marketing.
Marketing, interview, skill, bubbly personality, career, gnaw, telephone cord, security, insult, Ratbert, interviewer
Ratbert tells Dogbert he didn't get the Marketing job.
Marketing, interview, experience, meeting, doughnut, pillow, Ratbert, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
Dilbert makes Ratbert an intern because Ratbert hangs around.
Office Politics, intern, high-traffic cube, look busy, computer, Dilbert, Ratbert
Ratbert the intern makes a suggestion to become a world-class organisation.
Office Politics, intern, suggestion, multi-disciplinary task forces, re-engineer, idea rat, Ratbert, Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Ted
Business math, as explained by Dogbert.
Business, math, grunt, bonus, expense, budget, giraffe, sales projection, requirement, doctor, flashlight, proctologist, Boss, Dogbert
The Boss announces they will try to win a quality award.
Start of saga: The Millard Bullrush Quality Award.
Management, Millard Bullrush, quality award, politician, snorkel, sea turtle, Boss, Wally
The Boss asks Dilbert to describe how he used total quality on his last project.
Management, Millard Bullrush, quality award, total quality, honesty, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert suggests a way to make a failed project look good.
Management, Millard Bullrush, quality award, project, acronym, cost saving, laptop computer, dishonest, budget, Dilbert, Dogbert
Dilbert gives his write-up on quality to the Boss.
Management, Millard Bullrush, quality award, write-up, productive time, irony, shirt, contest, Dilbert, Boss
Dogbert bids to be the telemarketer for the Boss.
Corporate Services, telemarketing, feeble-minded person, pocket the difference, steal, Dogbert, Boss
Dilbert asks the Boss about a strange smell in the cubicles.
Science, aroma technology, lemon, alert, smell, complain, Dilbert, Boss
The engineers prevent Ed from working late.
Office Politics, work late, compensation, duct tape, problem, underwear, logic, Dilbert, Ed, Alice, Wally
The Boss hires a professional to design the product interface.
Product, user interface, design, international terrorist, Yale, eye patch, jail, criminal, Boss, Dilbert, Sven
Sven shows off the sound effects in the user interface.
Product, user interface, sound, puke, fingernails on blackboard, bird hitting window, eye patch, Sven
Bringing in strangers to test the product will take too long and cost too much, according to Sven.
Product, product testing, focus group, time and money, stupid, candy, eye patch, Sven, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert updates the old saying "You can lead a horse to water".
Family, lead a horse to water, smell like a horse, hose, horse, Dogbert, Ratbert
The Boss announces the next team building exercise -- a paintball tournament.
Management, team building, paintball, cubicle war, goggles, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
The Boss wants the engineers to act as a self-managed team.
Management, self-managed team, vital management tasks, status report, kiss butt, track, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice