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A writer of a 15 year-old memo still brags about it.
Office Politics, famous, memo, typo, performance review, resting on laurels, Tim Zumph, Wally, Dilbert

The Boss announces raises are now dependent on evaluations by co-workers.
Management, raise, evaluation, budget, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice

Employees are no longer the valuable asset, the Boss says.
Management, employees are our most valuable asset, money, carbon paper, Boss, Wally, Dilbert

A newly engaged woman shows off a cheap diamond ring.
Office Politics, engagement, diamond ring, shopping channel, list price, good save, woman, Dilbert, Wally

Dilbert tells Linda she looks pudgy in that dress.
Personal, dress, pudgy, martial arts, criticism, constructive, Dilbert, Linda, Dogbert

Dilbert complains about celebrity photographers and how much easier it would be if photos were retouched.
Society, photograph, paparazzi, celebrity, Cindy Crawford, kiss, scan, retouch, Dilbert, Dogbert

People introduce themselves at a meeting. Dilbert panics.
Office Politics, meeting, introduction, district, wit, Norway, pay, pressure, Dilbert, Boss, co-worker, Dogbert, Alice, Wally

Dogbert taunts Dilbert when his new computer goes out-of-date.
Start of saga: Dilbert's new computer is obsolete.
Technology, museum, computer chip, out of date, state of the art, leading edge, Dilbert, Dogbert

Dilbert's new computer is already obsolete.
Technology, obsolete, technology curve, look down, engineer, Dilbert, Wally, Ted

Dilbert gets pitch for fingernail computers that know where your fingers are.
Technology, fingernail-computer, laptop, outdated, obsolete, keyboard, Dilbert, sales rep

Dogbert becomes a professional insulter.
Dogbert-Schemes, professional insulter, ugly, disguise, garbage day, Dogbert, Dilbert

Dogbert delivers an insult-o-gram from a woman to her ex-husband.
Dogbert-Schemes, insult-o-gram, wife, satellite, photograph, cloudy, tip, Dogbert, man

Dilbert tells his date he just wants to be friends.
Dating, romance, friend, reverse psychology, porpoise, restaurant, wine, mammal, Dilbert, Dilbert's date, Dogbert

When Dilbert asks a woman on a date, she says he must pass the challenge of fear.
Dating, challenge of fear, test, slam, weasel, elevator, abuse, staple, manliness, bulletin board, Dilbert, woman

A budget analyst asks Dilbert to calculate the impact of replacing the engineers with plants.
Budget, emergency, exercise, plant, replace, rent, Dilbert, budget analyst

A budget analyst summarises 600 projects into three bullet points.
Budget, presentation, summary, impact, project, oxygen, Jell-O, competition, budget analyst, Boss

Ratbert believes he is evolving into a flying rat.
Family, evolution, fly, advantage, wing, happy, bat, Dogbert, Ratbert

Ratbert wants to fly without waiting to evolve wings.
Science, evolution, Wright brothers, fly, airplane, flap, Dilbert, Ratbert

Bob says it's possible to fly if Ratbert flaps his arms hard enough.
Science, fly, impossible, arm, flap, embarrassment, Ratbert, Bob

Dilbert "helps" a cashier by paying a sum that makes change "easy."
Engineer, change, arithmetic, cash register, Dilbert, cashier

Dogbert says, beyond all reason, crabby people get what they want.
Dogbert-Schemes, crabby, demand, reward, punish, power, dance, Dogbert, Dilbert

The Boss can't promote Dilbert to Engineering prima donna without disorders.
Engineer, prima donna, mumble, disdain, personality, disorder, Dilbert, Boss

Dilbert wants to be promoted to "technical prima donna."
Start of saga: Technical prima donna.
Technology, prima donna, promote, Dustin Hoffman, Sean Penn, paparazzi, personality disorder, Dilbert, Dogbert

Dilbert practises ignoring others as part of training to be technical prima donna.
Technology, prima donna, promotion, disdain, ignore, dummy, question, practise, Dogbert, Dilbert

Dilbert tells the Boss he deserves to be technical prima donna.
Technology, prima donna, promotion, emotionally unstable, dangerous, fire extinguisher, foam, technical knowledge, Dilbert, Boss

The Boss wants all employees to fill out a confusing form.
Management, form, obfuscation, confusion, trick, quit, sign, rescind, decline, reverse, incline, discontinue, employment, Boss, Dilbert

Dogbert learns hypnosis.
Start of saga: Dogbert takes over the world by hypnosis.
Dogbert-Schemes, hypnosis, book, remember, sandblast, cracker, conquest, Dogbert, Ratbert

Rumours are flying aliens from the planet Zorb will take over the company.
Office Politics, management, rumour, alien, Zorb, lizard, corn dog, touchy-feely, team player, Dilbert, Boss, Wally

Dogbert wants a device to take over the satellite broadcasts.
Dogbert-Schemes, technology, satellite, hijack, pirate, broadcast, gizmo, illegal, fishing lure, satellite dish, antenna, Dogbert, clerk

After Dogbert hypnotises people, Bob will whack everyone else with his tail.
Dogbert-Schemes, hypnosis, conquer, television, accountant, tail, whack, callous, sensitive skin, Dogbert, Bob

Dogbert broadcasts his hypnotic message to take over the world.
Dogbert-Schemes, hypnosis, broadcast, satellite, poster, chant, king, camera, satellite dish, antenna, Dogbert, Ratbert