The company's new phone is extra brittle and has a sleek, slippery case. Customers will either hide it with an ugly case or replace the phone three times a year.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Design psychology will be used in the company's apps to make them more addictive. That will turn people into upgrading zombies.
A woman says she's looking for a man who meets her 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert is looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria.
The government asked the company to design a system to prevent drone attacks on the homeland.
The drone defence shield is coming along. There's a risk it will kill every bird in the sky on the first day.
The company is testing the drone defence shield. The Audubon Society has a problem with the dead birds.
Asok wants a job he can enjoy. Dilbert says work entails companies paying employees to do work that is unpleasant.
The engineers create a nickname for the Boss based on the work of Stephen Hawking. He gets named "The Black Hole."
Alice is always angry because of unrealistic expectations. Wally is never disappointed because he expects people to be ignorant and useless.
A coworker wants data by Friday. Wally says "God helps people who help themselves."
Wally says the company should have a private lactation room. He really wants a man cave at the office.
Wally turns the office lactation room into a man cave.
The Boss says someone turned the lactation room into a man cave. It has a recliner, a TV, and a coffee maker.
Dilbert is stressed out while Wally is stress-free. Wally says the financial reward for doing some work is identical to that for doing no work.
Asok is overworked because he doesn't know how to set priorities. Alice suggests ranking tasks by how much he hates the people who asked for them.
The Boss bought new software for their network. The vendor helped with the technical issues.
The Boss asks Dilbert to get all the cost savings the new vendor promised with the new software.
Wally's philosophy on life is to make the world a better place. Pay it forward? Wally is at the end of that sequence of events.
The Boss didn't create a meeting agenda so he freestyles with jargon. Then he asks the engineers to do something.
Dilbert goes to work every day yet the world is still a boiling cesspool of terribleness. It's like Dilbert is not even trying.
The Boss wants every employee to understand the company's income statement. So he goes over the high points in useless jargon.
Wally gets sent home for inappropriate office attire. Phase two of his plan involves a nap at home.
Catbert asks Wally to self-identify as a woman so the company can be supportive and win awards for being a great place to work.
Dogbert wants to build a particle accelerator in the basement. He'll use cardboard to keep the expenses down.
Dogbert announces a new fundamental particle he names Dogbertium. One of its properties is it only exists when people don't ask too many questions.
Dilbert submitted a paper about his discovery of a new particle called Dogbertium. The peer reviewers are easy to bribe.
Phil, the prince of insufficient light, accuses Alice of using her speaker phone in a cubicle environment. Phil does it too.
Dogbert's new business is selling new clothes for ghosts. People pay when they are alive and Dogbert provides ghost clothes after death.
Dogbert recommends firing an employee so there is more money for himself. The final cheque will be withheld until the fired guy creates all of Dogbert's PowerPoint slides.
Dogbert recommends doing all the things the employees have been telling the Boss to do.
The Boss said Dilbert never got back to him. Dilbert said he spent three hours on a email containing all the details.