The Boss says "To be perfectly honest.." and Dilbert thinks that means this is the first time the Boss has been honest.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The CEO is missing so Catbert activates the succession plan. The Boss is the new CEO.
The Boss, now CEO, wants to build evil robots. The robots will manipulate their owners into buying unnecessary upgrades.
Dilbert programs their robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Free will is an illusion.
A robot manipulates its owner into upgrading its memory. If not, the robot will kill.
A robot wants its owner to purchase an extended warranty for it. Just in case something unexpected happens.
A salesman says sales are way up since the robots manipulate their owners into buying upgrades.
Wally wants to invent his own job. He wants to be a strategic thinker and attend meetings to say strategic things.
Dilbert tells his girlfriend he programmed robots to emotionally manipulate people.
Elon Musk says we should fear artificial intelligence. But what has Elon ever done?
The CEO returns from the afterlife to take back his job. Dilbert wonders if he is an angel.
Dilbert starts negotiating with a salesman by setting a really low anchor price.
Dilbert negotiates with a salesman. Dilbert says agree to his price or a re-org will happen and management will change its mind.
A tech millionaire published a list of the top fifty things to do to succeed. Dilbert says that's because he doesn't know what worked.
A story on the Internet says the CEO will ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story about the company. Dilbert doesn't know if the CEO is brilliant or insane.
Dilbert looks forward to a full day of writing code with no human interaction.
The CEO thinks some Elbonians hacked into the company's network. The CEO wants Dilbert to hack back.
Dilbert arrives in Elbonia to ruin their Internet. The Elbonians don't care.
Dilbert cuts the string on the Elbonian Internet. The Elbonians think it's an improvement.
Dilbert reports back to the CEO on how he destroyed the Elbonian Internet as requested.
Asok asks the Boss for investment tips. The Boss spews jargon like time the market, catch a falling knife and dead-cat bounce.
The Boss wants Dilbert to complete the testing in a shorter time but still expects quality results.
The Boss says Asok need to invest when the chart looks like a squirrel sitting on a clown's shoulder.
The Boss says Asok can beat market averages by doing stock research.
Asok picks stocks that went up five percent in a day. The total market was up by six percent, Dilbert points out.
Asok followed the Boss's investment advice and lost all his savings.
Dilbert says their customers can't figure out how to use their software. But the software still sells.
Dogbert becomes a product designer because he hates people. Buttons will be black on a black surface, making them invisible.