The consultant advised the Boss to rewrite the CMS from scratch. That's the same advice the engineers gave the Boss for free.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Carol brought her son to work. Dilbert advises him to not make any career decisions today because all boys his age are idiots.
Tina asks Dilbert if she can be his friend on Facebook. Dilbert doesn't want to see pictures of her food.
The Boss asks Dilbert to create artificial intelligence that is as smart as the Boss. Dilbert says that's pretty easy.
Dilbert's artificial intelligence passes the PHB test. It can answer questions as well as the Boss.
The Boss explains to Dilbert that leadership isn't always acting in the smartest way.
Dilbert presents his new software that acts like the Boss. It spouts nonsense and the CEO likes it.
Alice has a bad attitude, the Boss says. She said he forced her to work 70 hours this week.
The Boss tells Catbert everyone is in a bad mood lately. It might be personal problems, but who has time for personal problems when they work 70 hours a week?
Wally thinks he would be perfect for a "growth hacker" position. The Boss doesn't know what that type of person does all day.
Wally says he is a personal lifestyle engineer. He creates an ideal balance of work and leisure.
Tina asks Dilbert if he is embarrassed about dressing the same every day. He asks her if she doesn't understand managing a limited reserve of willpower every day.
Dilbert lists the things the company is good at. Automating things they shouldn't be doing, worshipping the status quo and masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility.
Dogbert likes the income inequality best about being rich. He says his net worth is a thousand times more than Dilbert's.
The CEO wants Dilbert to find out how to place ads on that flash spot that happens when someone takes your picture.
Dilbert wants to run a trial to get a tree to grow leaves made of rare earth minerals.
The Boss asks Dilbert for an honest assessment of his leadership. Dilbert unloads for 30 minutes on how bad the Boss is.
Dilbert asks Wally if he would stop working after making a billion dollars. Wally asks how he could make a billion dollars.
Keeping it simple is the secret to success. But figuring out what is simple is very complicated.
The CEO comes to Dilbert with a product idea: 3D glasses for real life. Ones that make people look like they live in a 3D world.
The CEO makes decisions based on the people involved. Dilbert says that is unsupported by evidence.
The Boss has incomplete data so will use his intuition and experience to make the decision.
The CEO says Dilbert's prototype will never be economical. Dilbert says certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness.
The Boss says Alice's project is behind schedule and wants to know if she can finish it earlier. Alice says we all die, so maybe he could die sooner.
The Boss seats Dilbert next to the Senior VP at the technology awards banquet. It's not because the Boss hates Dilbert, it's because the Boss hates the Senior VP.
The Boss outsources his micromanaging to Amazon's Mechanical Turk.
Dilbert complained about his workload so the Boss hires an inexperienced guy who asks lots of questions and takes lots of sick days.
Wally asks if he can start work at 4 AM and quit at noon every day. The Boss wouldn't know if Wally was really working the first four hours.
The CEO announces a stock split since it's easier to do than creating fantastic products.
The company bought a Silicon Valley startup just to get the engineers. The engineers are socially awkward and haven't seen a woman in four years.
The Boss introduces Randy, acquired by buying his startup. Randy quits after the Boss tells him he must watch 45 hours of online training.