Dilbert prepared PowerPoint slides for the Boss. He dumbed down the technical stuff for the investors.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Wally reports his project is coming along great. It's on time and under budget. The Boss doesn't believe him.
In an interview, Dilbert asks the candidate why he left his last position as a publicist for a famous magician. He forgot to tell anyone the magician was doing a month-long trick.
The Boss asks if anyone has a billion-dollar ideas. The engineers respond they'll keep those ideas for themselves and reveal the lame ones.
The CEO asked everyone to give one percent of their work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert asks if that includes the 110% of the time the Boss had asked for last week.
Wally reports last week, his charity work involved teaching unemployed people how to interview for jobs.
The Boss asks Dilbert if he's sure the data is correct. Dilbert responds he's been supplying incorrect data for years and this is the first time the Boss has asked.
The Boss complains to Catbert interviews are awkward because no questions have been approved by HR yet. Catbert starts giggling.
The CEO says employees who exercise are healthier. Wally responds those in poor health don't exercise.
The Boss asks if Dilbert saw his email response to Dilbert's business plan. Dilbert wonders if it was rambling and disjointed and shows no understanding of the problem or solution.
The Boss digs into Dilbert's record on the employee tracking system. Dilbert wanders around, has low levels of caffeine and his typos are way up.
Dilbert asks the Boss if he can take vacation next week. The Boss says sure, as long as Dilbert works twice as hard this week.
Dilbert says people can't focus because of digital distractions. Wally wasn't listening and Dilbert can't repeat it because he lost interest.
Wally tells the Boss the digital age distractions have ruined his ability to have a conversation on a topic longer than five seconds.
A woman at a party tries to guess why Dilbert is wearing a computer wristband and plugged in glasses.
Dilbert asks the Garbageman how much wearable tech he can wear before turning into a cyborg. The Garbageman says they're already just a software simulation.
The Boss says having a friend at work makes a person more engaged. That means he can cut their pay and they won't quit.
Alice didn't answer Dilbert's IM, email, text, or phone calls, so he shows up in person.
Phishing scams keep working because stupid people keep falling for them.
The Boss tells Catbert he lost all his money to a phishing scam. Catbert tries in vain to control his laughter.
Alice wrote a blog post to defend the Boss, where he didn't do any of the ten things every leader should do. And yet he still gets paid.
The Boss tells a psychologist his subordinates aren't supportive. She suggests he might have troll DNA.
The Boss tells the CEO they have a problem with early adopters of the wearable tech. The CEO wonders if no one wants to go first, but the Boss says it's not that. The engineers look like freaks.
According to a customer survey, the most requested software feature is a flying car.
The Boss wants employees who can say no to him. Wally says that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.
The Boss criticises Dilbert for not using his large-screen smartphone while walking from place to place. It's like stealing from the company.
Used batteries are to be discarded in a special box in the break room. Then they'll be dumped into the regular trash in the landfill.
Alice gets the nomination for the Good Attitude Award. She yells at the Boss for a giving out a useless award.
Dilbert missed all his goals and blamed it on poor management. He'll go into details when he does his review of management. So the Boss revises his appraisal to say Dilbert's doing great.
The Boss injects Dilbert with performance enhancing drugs to make him more motivated and competitive.
Alice is attracted to Dilbert, who has been injected with job performance enhancing drugs.