Wally says the company's mission, vision, strategy, road map and core values are not aligned. So he will not be able to do anything productive.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The new product is cannibalising the old product, Dilbert reports. The CEO is the victim of a bully.
The CEO wonders when a robot could replace him. The robot says pretty soon, as long as he removes his empathy chip.
Wally uses the robot for telepresence. He's actually in the men's room.
A user interface designer creates a black case with black buttons. The interface will be invisible in normal light.
Dogbert meets a monster named Stanky Bathurd who writes tax code.
The Boss asks Dilbert to install the new firewall. Dilbert says no because all problems are blamed on the firewall.
A sadistic monster says the best part is being able to write the tax code.
The tax monster says the tax code is so complicated even God would be confused.
Dogbert watches a monster write the overly-complicated tax code.
Dilbert asks the Boss why they don't have an employee bus like Google does.
Alice threatens the robot for interrupting her in a meeting.
Alice had killed the robot, but it had uploaded its personality to the Internet to haunt Alice.
While larger companies are focussed on making a better television set, Wally proposes making a digital couch that includes a butt warmer, surround sound, a bottle opener and a back scratcher.
An Elbonian brags about a new missile that will make their enemies tremble with fear.
The CEO wants a ping-pong table installed so it looks like a great place to work. It must be in a central place on the floor so it is disruptive to all.
Dogbert creates misleading statistics on the past performance of his investment fund.
The Boss rejects Dilbert's plan for political reasons he can't share. So Dilbert will come back with nonsense to see what makes it past the filter.
The Boss is using the engineers to thwart his company rival.
Studies show well-rested people are more productive. So Wally wants to take a nap.
Wally teaches Asok how to tolerate coworkers. He starts by demonstrating the "trust fall."
Dilbert shows the Boss a prototype of a device that will change the world and earn Dilbert a big promotion.
A marketing guy says they need to think more like their customers. So he asks the engineers to write fictional biographies that describe typical daily lives of customers.
Dilbert thinks he should rely more on intuition. Dogbert says that's the same as guessing.
The Boss learned from his parents that he could be anything if he worked hard.
Asok will read a book on how to get rich quick.
Asok meets the CEO at the elevator. He asks the CEO the secret of success.
Bonuses are based on the usual formula, the Boss says. A combination of the performance of people they don't know, plus pure luck.
The Boss advises Asok to do what he loves. Asok loves eating bread.
Asok complains he is fat. Dogbert interrupts the strip to say the punchline occurred in the first panel.