Loud Howard introduces a man from an unnamed government agency, who wants the company to create a computer virus to attack Elbonian missile factories.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The CEO says profits are down but that doesn't matter because his annual compensation is increased to sixty million.
The Boss wants to finish the project even if it means working all night. After that inspiring speech, he goes home.
Dilbert offers a prospective customer water from the restroom sink. The company can't afford bottled water.
The Boss sends Wally to an engineers' conference in the hopes another company will entice him away.
A potential customer doesn't want to do business because Dilbert could only offer him water from the restroom sink.
The Boss hires an intern for his intern.
Asok the intern introduces his new intern to Carol.
Wally says he worked nights for a month to prepare a detailed quote for a customer. The customer then used the quote to get a better deal from their current supplier.
Tina meets the new intern to the intern, who must pay a resort fee to use the restroom.
Asok the intern sympathises with his intern, and describes what would happen if Asok gets into a serious accident.
Wally presents the Boss with a list of twelve elements of great managing. If the Boss does everything on the list, Wally might be productive.
Wally cold-calls prospective customers by visiting an online video chat site.
The Boss asks an interview candidate how to diagnose a buffer overflow problem. The candidate responds he would put the circuit board into water and look for bubbles.
The CEO says Google has offered $100 million for the company just to get the engineers. Dilbert wants to do an end-run around the CEO.
The CEO reads a speech that says he agreed to sell the company to Google so they can get the engineers.
An Elbonian asks for a loan from Dogbert's International Bank for Bailing Out Countries that are Bad at Math. He says their treasury is empty and they don't know why.
An employee being downsized doesn't want jargon or euphemisms, just straight talk.
Dogbert advises the Boss to act more like an entrepreneur, like decisions and motivation
The Boss tries to figure out what motivates Alice. It's not positive or negative feedback.
The Boss says a good manager tailors his leadership style to each employee, so pokes an employee with a sharpened pool cue.
The Boss announces the company will bet on a new product. Dilbert replied Google brought out the same product and gave it away for free, then killed because of lack of interest.
Elbonian hackers stole usernames and passwords from the company's servers so data werewolves were sent in to track down those responsible.
The CEO announces the company will stop pretending their products are always on sale and instead offer low prices all the time. Their average customer is smart enough to realise they are the same.
Dogbert explains how dumb customers feel like smart shoppers because the company always has fake 50% off sales.
The Boss doesn't want to give Alice a raise because then she would make more money than him. But he can't explain his reason to Alice very well.
Wally will give his input to a co-worker by Friday -- unless something comes up.
Ratbert and Bob talk like idiots. Lipstick on pig, deliverable is actionable, blah blah blah.
The Boss wants to rely more on intuition instead of market research. Wally and Dilbert are in favour of it because it might bring his chances of success up to 50%.
Dilbert always puts his time toward low-priority tasks because he's rational, and only works on tasks that are likely to give him some kind of reward.
The Boss introduces his daughter to Alice. His daughter wants to become a trophy wife for a blind guy.