Mordac introduces facial recognition network security, and requires plastic surgery to match temporary passwords already set.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dilbert tells Wally smiling makes a person more attractive. Wally tries it on Dilbert.
Dogbert starts a pump-and-dump newsletter for thinly traded stocks.
The Boss can't give Wally a raise because he didn't accomplish anything. In return, Wally gives him some hot stock tips.
The Boss comes to Wally to talk but Wally interrupts saying he's late for the mandatory coffee safety training.
The Boss wants an overarching strategy to stimulate innovation. Dilbert wants the Boss to stop smothering innovation that's already happening.
The Boss confronts the CEO about his lack of an engineering degree.
The engineers brainstorm, where no criticising is allowed. Dilbert starts off by coming up with an idea to design better bosses.
The CEO addresses rumours he padded his resume. He's not actually an engineer.
Dogbert becomes a venture capitalist, to give money to doomed social media start-ups.
Alice wrote an app that tells me how many friends other people have. She tests it on Wally, who is proud to have few friends.
Dogbert asks for money from a venture capitalist for his social media start-up with lots of buzzwords.
Dogbert welcomes a venture capitalist to the board meeting.
When Dilbert makes a bank deposit, the teller gloats.
Note: An alternative version of this strip containing stronger language was published on Scott Adam's blog.
Alice asks a coworker to answer a question. He won't look at a low-priority question so she raises its priority through the channels.
The Boss bought a house and plans to flip it. It has mould and unexploded ordinance.
The Boss only does things Carol puts on his schedule. And his house has declined in value recently. Warning signs.
Dogbert wants to know if the CEO respects people who speak truth to power. Then Dogbert insults him.
Dilbert doesn't want to get together with a coworker to discuss his project because all interactions with him have been a waste of time.
Dilbert creates a great smartphone. The Boss wants to kill him so competitors never learn how to imitate it.
In the near future, Wally uses hand motion sensors to manipulate a 3D network model. Then he sneezed and accidentally merged the network model with his calendar.
A coworker ignores Dilbert's specs and passed specs off to the coders. It's now easier to proceed rather than starting from scratch again.
The Boss stands near Carol's desk and yammers about productivity while she's trying to work.
Dilbert wants his ashes scattered in outer space.
Tina the technical writer wants to get together with Dilbert to write a product description together. Dilbert suggests a nonsense time because he doesn't want to do that.
The Boss asks Tina to replace the database analyst. He predicts it will take about 45 minutes.
The Boss brags Tina complimented him by saying he punches and hates ignorance with certainty. Of course he got it all wrong.
Dilbert asks Siri how he can avoid blame for the server outage. Siri deploys Dilbert's coccyx air bag.
The Boss prays to big data that lives in the cloud, it knows all and comes from everywhere.
Stock value is down 49% and there are no innovative products in the pipeline so the CEO suggests layoffs, cut budget and buy a sexy start-up company to run into the ground. Same as last year.
Carol has too much to do so can't finish today. The Boss suggests multitasking.