The Boss asks Alice to do a task by the end of the day. She responds by using magic to wish the work to be finished.
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Wally is late. He says it's freezing and the roads are all ice. He had six cups of coffee and sat in traffic for two hours.
Wally believes they should throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible.
A coworker says Alice should look at his diagram as it could solve her problem. Alice says he's a genius.
Dilbert and the Boss return from a restaurant. Dilbert says he plans to return there someday for lunch, instead of the work he just did there.
The company's e-mail servers have been moved to Transylbonia, despite the rumours everyone there are data vampires.
Ever since the e-mail servers were moved to Transylbonia, Dilbert's inbox has contained nothing but vowels.
The Boss announces the company is leaving their low-margin lines of business and going into new fields, like a start-up.
The Boss tells Dilbert they need to act more like a start-up. Does this mean Dilbert can wear whatever clothes he wants, work at home and have lots of equity in the company?
Tina says she wants to get married someday because married people are happy. Dilbert responds no one wants to marry an unhappy person.
The Boss complains about Dilbert being arrogant in meetings. Dilbert wants to keep simpletons from ruining the world.
The tech support person doesn't want to help Dilbert because he's evaluated only by the number of tickets closed. "Son of a beach ball."
Dilbert invents a hat to control computers with his thoughts. The computer on the Boss's desk shows Dilbert's wishes.
Dilbert causes Topper's phone to explode by using his brain reader invention.
A co-worker said he golfed at Pebble Beach. Dilbert replied he played that course on his Xbox.
Dilbert does not want to date a woman because her home Internet access is slow.
The Boss hires a weasel for search engine optimisation, to artificially increase the rankings for their company in search engines.
A CEO tries to demonstrate their tablet computer is indestructible and smashed it on the floor.
The Boss wants to start charging customers for features they currently get for free. Wally wonders how the reasoning process went.
The CEO thanks the Boss for collecting bottle caps, and thanks Dilbert for discovering the bottle cap thing was a hoax.
Dilbert found the Higgs Boson particle, which immediately tells Dilbert to build an ark.
A co-worker complains Wally never answers her call. Wally says his cell phone battery is dead.
The Boss wants to build something bigger than a phone but smaller than a tablet.
Wally introduces Sven, their biggest customer from Elbonia. The Boss needs to kiss his mitten.
Dilbert's PowerPoint slides have data for intelligent people and manipulative anecdotes for the morons.
Dilbert tries to talk with Alice many times but she can't fit him in.
The Boss has wine at lunch and decides to tweet. Bad decision.
Wally's goal is to eliminate all direct human contact, and designs a suite of Internet collaboration tools.
Wally prefers to collaborate online, where the risk of being slapped is low.