The Boss asks Alice to simplify an idea so he can present it to the executives.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
An employee wonders if the Boss approved his goals for next year. The Boss is apathetic about the goals and the employee fears being downsized.
The company lawyer says they are being targeted by big companies. The big companies have hired NASA to nudge an asteroid toward their headquarters.
A co-worker tries to get Wally to deliver data in three days. Wally won't commit to that.
Alice asks an interviewee if he is creative. Creative people take moral shortcuts and are less honest.
Alice asks an interviewee if he can work long hours. People who work long hours usually make bad decisions.
Dogbert the consultant recommends the Boss purchase Dogbert's Database Software product. Dogbert says he's being totally objective.
A co-worker tells Dilbert about his recommendation. Dilbert can't understand what the co-worker said.
The Boss didn't read Dilbert's technical recommendation. Instead he uses his gut to make decisions.
A co-worker says he's a creative person. Alice assumes it to mean he's bad at math and has no analytical skills.
The Boss says Dilbert's job performance is terrific. Dilbert assumes it to mean someone else will be fired and Dilbert must do two jobs.
Dilbert tells Alice they can manipulate the Boss by comparing the right plan to the worst alternatives.
The Boss asks Dilbert why he didn't respond to an e-mail. Dilbert says he couldn't read it because the signal-to-noise ratio was too low.
Wally thinks the hallmark of genius is doing things in a way other people don't. For example, his project is unfinished. Wally sees it as an unexpected use of time.
Wally decides to become more aggressive in blaming others for his lack of success.
The Boss asks the engineers to stop using the word "unfortunately" when they talk to customers. "As it turns out" has a more positive feel.
Dilbert presents the idea the business will fail if customers hate their new product. The business will fail if it's a good product because a stronger company will start competing with them.
The Boss invokes imperious interruptus, where he can hijack conversations of subordinates. Then the VP interrupts him.
The Boss changes Dilbert's idea, and says he can now claim credit if it works, or blame it on Dilbert if it fails.
The CEO says the strategy is to increase market share. Dilbert jokes about how he was trying to decrease market share last year.
Dilbert can't hold Alice's interest in a conversation so she checks e-mail while he's talking.
The Boss opens up for any question at all. Wally and Dilbert ask unrelated questions about ghosts.
Dilbert's date complains her boss keeps micromanaging her.
Dilbert meets Burt Nount, who is burned out by his job even though he started only yesterday.
The Boss can't think of what to write for Dilbert's goals for the coming year. Dilbert says to just make up stuff.
Alice sneezes on Burt Nount and disintegrates his head.
Dilbert explains this is not an ordinary powerpoint slide. It is instead a portal to another dimension where fantasy and reality have traded places.
The Garbageman explains Powerpoint is like garbage. It's delicious in small doses but too much can kill.
A co-worker tries to give Dilbert data on her flash drive but Dilbert is reluctant to accept it.
The Boss thanks Asok for his suggestion but won't follow it because he doesn't like doing extra work and Asok isn't important to his career.