Dogbert is to chair a data security standards group, to redefine security procedures to be inconvenient.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dogbert starts a vendor standards group to create mutually exclusive preferences.
Asok teases Dilbert about using a "grandpa box", while younger people use phones and tablets.
Pete has an urge to disagree with Dilbert, even though everything Dilbert said was correct.
Everything Pete says is creepy and the Boss is receiving complaints.
Dogbert leads a meeting for the society for the preservation of evil ideas.
Dogbert, PR guy, is to persuade the media to write negative stories about the company's competitors.
The Boss wants to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about Engineering, the more they criticise.
A co-worker talked non-stop through the meeting so they accomplished nothing.
Alice judges the quality of a co-worker's business case by his bad haircut and poor font choice.
Dogbert says crimes are victimless when you're a sociopath. He offers to split the profit if the CEO provides insider information.
Dogbert offers Dilbert a job to pretend he has written a superior stock trading algorithm, while Dogbert uses insider information to get rich.
The Boss says they must embrace failures and learn from them. Alice says that's dumb.
Dilbert asks to work at home some days. The Boss says Dilbert is really part of a science experiment to see how much frustration it takes to kill employees.
Dilbert tells Alice about a co-worker who doesn't have a clue how software works. The co-worker overhears this.
The Boss says anyone who disagrees with him is an ignorant nuisance and then asks for comments.
The Boss uses intuition to select an option, despite what the data says.
A co-worker schedules input from Dilbert. Dilbert is scheduled to finish two weeks before he starts.
A co-worker and Dilbert discuss the e-mail the co-worker sent about Dilbert's plan.
The Boss asks an interviewee to describe his biggest mistake and what he learned from it. He says he chewed a couch into tiny pieces and left them at Starbucks.
Dilbert's phone rings and it's after 4 PM. He fears a problem will keep him at work all night.
A new software vendor arrives and tries to form a relationship with Dilbert.
Dilbert thinks the new vendor is creepy for wanting to form a relationship. Wally says it might not be so bad.
The Boss offers to join Dilbert at a meeting with a customer. Dilbert worries about that.
During a meeting with a customer, the Boss contradicts Dilbert and says they can easily make the requested changes.
The Boss impatiently asks Dilbert to print the same report he printed for the Boss yesterday.
The ambassador of trees visits Dilbert and accuses him of crimes against wood for excessive printing and copying.
The Boss asks for honest feedback on his plan. The engineers aren't sure how to react and wonder if honesty is the best choice.
Dilbert wonders why his great idea doesn't sound so good when puts it in e-mail. Bad decision 1 follows.
A co-worker calls Dilbert's e-mail arrogant and stupid. Dilbert reacts badly which leads to bad decisions 2 and 3.
Dilbert wonders why people get mad at him when he points out how dumb they are. He just wants to be helpful.