The new marketing campaign depends on word of mouth. Unfortunately, they have a bad product so they found a guy with poor judgement and a loud mouth to say good things.
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The new ad campaign will portray competitor's products as baby-eating hobos, and their product as being used by the coolest guy in the world.
Dilbert is questioned on how he will be measuring progress along the way. One asks if Dilbert will be using an advanced assessment methodology.
A marketing guy complains to Catbert she broke his arm. Catbert says he will compare economic values of each to decide who to fire.
The business strategy is a combination of cognitive bias and inaccurate information.
Dogbert tells the managers no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged company, so that's a good strategy for avoiding an unfriendly takeover.
The Boss asks Carol how he can make her feel more inspired by her work. She doesn't think it can happen.
The Boss asks Dilbert to bring a handsome guy with him when he meets with an attractive young woman customer.
The Boss sends Wally on a mission: to assassinate the motivation of the Boss's rival.
Wally gives the Boss a lecture on how progress in difficult to measure when coding software.
The Boss tells Carol he shot an elk on his hunting trip. She is skeptical.
Dogbert the consultant convinces the CEO to sell his customer data. The CEO is concerned about privacy but Dogbert tells him not to worry.
Dogbert recommends selling customer data. It's ethical because the customers would do the same thing to the company if they could.
The Boss learns customers are complaining because the company sold their personal data to identity thieves.
The Boss holds a brainstorming session to find ways to regain the trust of their customers.
The Boss tells Asok to act as if he owned the company. Asok immediately fires the Boss.
Wally is to take a bag of gold to Elbonia and leave it at the statue of the monkey god, Oobanoobah, to give the minister of mud some incentive.
The Boss adjusts Ken's sales bonus threshold upwards because Ken reached it too easily.
After the Boss changed Ken's sales bonus level, Ken complains to Catbert. Catbert finds it funny.
Ken asks Dilbert to cross-train as an engineer. Dilbert says Ken needs a larger brain.
The Boss looks for ideas after Walmart sells knockoffs of their products for nine cents each.
Ted says his friend matrix has a few gaps, and asks Dilbert if he wants in.
The Boss reviews Dilbert's objectives, one of which is to toil hard to increase the wealth of stockholders.
Dilbert accompanies the best sales guy on a sales call. Dilbert puts a bag over his head halfway through.
Since there's no buzzword-babbling idiot at the meeting today, Asok graciously agrees to fill in.
Dilbert says the project plan is so complicated it is doomed, and waits for the Boss to make it fail.
Dilbert tells his date he clings to the walls of his cubicle consumed by the vortex of failure.
Wally starts being more entrepreneurial at his job. He says failing ninety percent of the time is similar to not trying at all.
The Boss promotes Asok from intern to limbo. Asok is excited he will exist.
Ted has done nothing but update his Facebook page and so is promoted to marketing manager for social networks.
Dilbert has to analyse the alternatives to getting training before the Boss will approve funding.