Dilbert asks his date what it's like to be in a bad mood all of the time.
Dating, bad mood, all of the time, showing interest, isn't working, angry, mad, Dilbert, woman
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Hammerhead Bob is learning ESP so he can butt into people's private thoughts.
Character, ESP, private thought, annoyance, no cause, mind reading, Dilbert, Alice, Hammerhead Bob
Hammerhead Bob butts into Alice and Tina's conversation.
Character, conversation, expert, topic, thick head, not welcome, irritable, cramp bark, dandelion root, PMS, Alice, Tina, Hammerhead Bob
The Boss interviews a career criminal.
Security, resume, career criminal, tendonitis, tendinitis, piston-whipping arm, white collar crime, embezzle, security, big money, locking, desk, Boss, Earl, Lefty
Wally joins another project's meeting.
Meeting, seduced, smell, freshly brewed coffee, tempting pastry, cross-charging, time, project, doughnut, Wally, project leader
Catbert deals with a disgruntled employee.
Personnel, disgruntled, employee rationaliser, bad management, commute, gadget, brainwashing, Catbert, Ed
The Boss hires a sourpuss, since every office has one.
Start of saga: The sourpuss
Character, cat, bad idea, leadership, optimism, hired, new employee, Dilbert, Boss, Sourpuss
Sourpuss coughs up a hairball on Dilbert's plan.
Character, cat, issue, plan, outline, hairball, cough, coughing, commentary, Dilbert, Alice, Sourpuss, Asok, Wally
Sourpuss describes what to do when life gives you lemons.
Note: As a fore-runner of the website's mashup section, Scott published a version of the strip a few days early. The early version had the dialog removed from the second and third panels and Scott asked readers to fill in their own jokes.
Character, cat, lemon, choke, die, lemon eater, Dilbert, Sourpuss
Sourpuss offers some discouragement to Dilbert.
Character, cat, waste of time, beat your head against the wall, drum, glass is half full, of what, negativity, Dilbert, Sourpuss
The Boss rationalises his failure to give the CEO accurate information.
Management, CEO, design, ecstatic, too late, press release, massive design flaw, destroy, billion dollar line of business, stock option, underwater, Chinese, manufacture, manufacturer, ultimately, fault, incentive, Dilbert, Boss
Topper tops Alice by hopping 40 miles to work on a broken leg.
Character, ran, run, jog, six miles, sore, broken leg, hopped, forty miles, one good leg, Dilbert, Alice, Topper
Dogbert starts "Dogbert's Selfish Cell Phone Company".
Dogbert-Schemes, selfish, cell phone, company, cell phone company, phone number, call, bother, busy, bothering, retaliation, Dogbert, Dilbert, Dilbert's Mom
Asok corrects the Boss in front of a VP.
Office Politics, idea, saving money, database, impossible, own time, carry on, jump in, error, VP of Engineering, Boss, Asok, Alice, Wally
A venture capitalist wants Dilbert to come up with an idea worth funding.
Start of saga: Vijay, the world's most desperate venture capitalist
Business, VC, venture capitalist, desperate, competitive, competition, stalk, idea, funding, pressure, crooked teeth, brace, Dilbert, Vijay
A venture capitalist harasses Dilbert, Alice and Wally at lunch.
Business, VC, venture capitalist, desperate, napkin, lunch, business plan, thinking, thought, money, cash, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Vijay
A venture capitalist tries to invest in the first idea of an unconceived child of two school children.
Business, VC, venture capitalist, desperate, moneybag, math grade, school, backpack, grow up, marry, little engineer baby, invest, first idea, too late, mezzanine funding, money, cash, Vijay, Schoolboy, Schoolgirl
A guy wants to buy insurance from Dogbert.
Dogbert-Schemes, insurance, special, indemnity, casualty, whole life, rider, binder, cover, covered, list of exclusions, acts of God, act of God, pray, lightning, Dogbert, man
Catbert hires a giant dung beetle to perform the downsizing.
Personnel, downsizing, downsize, humane, giant dung beetle, roll, poor performer, ball, marketing, sliding off, Catbert, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, Asok, dung beetle
The Boss interviews a guy who's some kind of intermediate species.
Personnel, resume, intermediate species, hominid, oyster, light-sensitive blob, eye, eyeball, one eye, pearl, tail, cyclops, Boss, freak
The Boss confronts Wally about his apparent lack of working.
Management, time charge, charging, project, work, wind, doubt, fart, breaking wind, existence, Boss, Wally
Dilbert describes their new product as a cable that doesn't attach to anything.
Budget, new product, cable, attach, demand, commercial, dance, hell, budget cut, presentation, buzz, marketing, advertising, Dilbert, Boss, CEO, Alice
Dilbert has delusions of effectiveness.
Strategy, PowerPoint, strategy, industry, follow, copy, change, world, delusion, effectiveness, presentation, Dilbert, Boss
Dilbert enters the PowerPoint zone.
Presentation, PowerPoint, zone, real world, bullet, productivity, imaginary, slide, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss asks Dilbert to attend a useless meeting. Dilbert resists.
Meeting, meeting, project acorn, cancelled, question, insist, Dilbert, Boss
Wally helps the Boss use up his budget before the end of the year.
Budget, year end, fiscal year, flexible, approving, approval, expense, wink, wink, hinting, coffee, panda, endangered species, pregnant, expensive, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Dogbert offers tech support by suggesting the caller reboot himself.
Tech Support, reboot, reboot, clone, adoption, intelligence, influenced, influence, environment, version 1.0, bug, insult, telephone, Dogbert, caller
The Boss asks Alice to show the new guy how to do a project status report.
Management, new guy, project status report, project report, status report, random phrase generator, listen, talking, deaf, Boss, new guy, Alice
The Boss awards Tina the employee of the month award.
Leadership, employee of the month, various work, award, meaning, job, listened, welcome, Boss, Tina
Wally prints Ted's resume whenever the Boss walks by the shared printer.
Office Politics, resume, shared printer, people pleaser, disloyal, Dilbert, Wally, Boss
Dilbert suggests joining the industry consortium promoting web services standards.
Bureaucracy, industry consortium, web service, standard, approval, review board, sign-off, executive, exist, perfect world, red tape, Dilbert, Boss