Downsized employees are to receive Catbert's DVD that teaches them to live off the land.
Downsizing, reorganisation, DVD, teach, live off the land, successful, shoplift, running, television, Catbert, Wally, Alice, employee
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Wally claims his weekly report is full of tales of success.
Office Politics, Wally report, bristling, tale, success, worthless, marketing, specific, confirmed, location, harmful advice, sales, rush, e-mail, ignore, focus, priority, budget, estimates, format, written objectives, Wally, Boss, Dilbert
Carol is made the Director of First Impressions.
Start of saga: Carol, the Director of First Impressions
Secretary, promotion, director, first impression, pro tem, pay off, office, lobby, receptionist, Boss, Carol, visitor
Carol explains to a visiting salesman she's really a director.
Secretary, receptionist, director, first impression, printer cartridges, CEO, HP, Carly Fiorina, Carol, salesman
Carol explains to a deliveryman she's not a receptionist.
Secretary, receptionist, attractive, position, heading, yum yum, Carol, delivery man
Carol realises she's a receptionist.
Secretary, receptionist, director, first impression, walrus, e-mail, Carol, visitor
The Boss announces their new strategy. He calls it a strategy so his people won't lose hope.
Management, strategy, fewer units, higher margins, different, cutting costs, hope, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
The Boss announces their new strategy of buzzwords to see how it makes his people feel.
Management, differentiating, value added, strategy, transformational, change, feel, urge, hurl, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
Asok invites the I.T. department to upgrade his non-standard computer.
Policy, IT department, upgrade, computer, non-standard, equipment, hide, printer, monitor, cleanse, non-conformance, heal, abacus, spiderweb, cobweb, Asok, Dilbert, Alice, IT person
Dogbert creates software to help small investors pick stocks.
Start of saga: Dogbert's stock-picking software
Dogbert-Schemes, software development, programming, small investors, pick, stock, past trends, indicative, future, hubris, ignorance, testimonials, results, typical, Dogbert, Dilbert
Dogbert decides his stock-picking software needs more features.
Dogbert-Schemes, software, stock, pick, features, module, hair grow, bald, rat, test, buttocks, proof, bathrobe, breakfast, clipboard, Dogbert, Dilbert, Ratbert
Dilbert asks Dogbert if he ever feels guilty for conning people out of their money.
Philosophy, moneybags, guilty, feel, scam, innocent, same thing, smarter, arrogance, cancel, guilt, system, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss must mark his territory by insisting on a change to the prototype product.
Leadership, mark, territory, insist, change, prototype, wireless, Internet, option, design, Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Wally
Asok performs a statistical analysis and finds no correlation between his efforts and his rewards.
Benefits, statistics, analysis, correlation, effort, reward, randomness, desperate, absurd, devoid of purpose, lost, pay, purchase, unnecessary, merchandise, lactation, shopping, mood, Asok, Wally
Dilbert asks the Boss for a new computer, but he must justify it first.
Management, computer, slow, upgrade, cost-benefit analysis, alternative, vice president, approval, second job, paper hat, vest, fast food, Dilbert, Boss, Dogbert
Dilbert visits a massage therapist who doesn't want to touch him.
Health, certified massage therapist, medical, questionnaire, touch, one hand, ballpoint pen, click, muscles, pen pal, masseuse, Dilbert, Dogbert
A co-worker with a crazy glare asks Dilbert for some useless information.
Office Politics, yield numbers, discontinued, chips, choose, rude, useless, crazy glare, consider, co-worker, Dilbert
The Boss can't promote Tina because her salary is too low.
Start of saga: Tina gets a new supervisor
Management, promote, salary band, current pay, raises, capped, hire, outside, train, supervisor, Boss, Tina
Tina is introduced to her new supervisor.
Office Politics, supervisor, train, new boss, bonus, family, sexist, chauvinist, gay, homosexual, civil union, marriage, adoption, dating, rugby team, Boss, Nelson, Tina
Tina trains her new supervisor.
Training, manager, new boss, real work, uninformed decisions, sociopath, egomaniac, fidget, harrumph, Tina, Nelson
Dogbert wants to open an art gallery with a full bar.
Start of saga: Dogbert's art bar
Dogbert-Schemes, plan, art gallery, full bar, putrid, specialise, price, synergy, booze, Dogbert, Dilbert, drunk
Dogbert sells dreadful art to people after getting them drunk.
Dogbert-Schemes, art bar, painting, dreadful, rat, lucky guess, midnight, drunk, Dogbert, bar patron
The Boss demands his people learn change is good.
Management, learn, change, good, smiley face, emoticon, question, best interest, shareholders, favourite part, yell, ruin, slogan, logic, snort, coffee, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
Wally gives stress advice to Alice.
Start of saga: Due to stress, Alice jumps out a window
Overwork, project, stressful, worst, could happen, pep talk, window, suicide, jumped, Wally, Alice, Dilbert
The Boss asks Alice for the status of her stressful project.
Management, status, project, incompetence, others, jump, window, dumpster, issues, garbage, hair, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
Carol e-mail flames a columnist for misusing the word "dongle."
Start of saga: Carol flames a newspaper columnist
Personal, writer, author, columnist, technical term, dongle, e-mail, boycott, newspaper, flame, Carol, Boss
The columnist Carol e-mail attacked responds.
Personal, scathing, letter, e-mail, misuse, dongle, intoxicated, verbal superiority, sad life, meaning, alive, nutbag, dictionary, apology, laptop computer, moustache, Carol, columnist, Dilbert
Alice goes to plan "B" for attacking the columnist: accuse him of hating minorities.
Personal, response, newspaper, columnist, misuse, dongle, wrong, apologise, accuse, hate, minority, Alice, Dilbert
Dilbert sees through a vendors claims of supplying all features on time with extras.
Vendor, build, software development, features, extras, start late, deadline, unfinished, important, deal, Dilbert, vendor
Dilbert gives the Boss his vacation schedule.
Vacation, schedule, plan, accrue, quit, afraid, question, answer, upbeat, Dilbert, Boss, Dogbert
Catbert chides Alice for eating at her desk.
Start of saga: Catbert, the furry log
Management, eat, desk, steal, working, lunch, furry log, term of endearment, nickname, insult, Alice, Catbert