The new hire is warned about Wally in the employee orientation.
Dating, stalk, new hire, employee orientation, workplace hazards, Alice, Wally, Dilbert, woman
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
A co-worker doesn't take Dilbert's hint he's ready for the meeting to end.
Meeting, papers, hint, signal, Dilbert, co-worker, Dogbert
Dilbert suggests a money saving idea, but the Boss demands a written business case and full analysis.
Management, consolidate, sublet, space, business case, risks, drivers, Dilbert, Boss
Carol doesn't allow the Boss to have meetings anymore.
Secretary, schedule, meeting, madness, e-mail, telephone, disconnected, cables, Carol, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss wants to talk about what Dilbert has done, but then leaves him hanging.
Start of saga: Dilbert is left hanging and time freezes
Management, telephone, hanging, wristwatch, time, stopped, frozen, freeze, Dilbert, Boss
Time stops for Dilbert while the Boss is on the phone.
Management, time, stopped, bad news, invent, language, beard, eternity, Dilbert, Boss
Dilbert tells his date how he grew his beard while waiting for the Boss to get off the phone.
Dating, beard, restaurant, wine, telephone, exercise, discipline, menu, cigar, suspenders, Dilbert, Dilbert's date, waitress
Dilbert plans to give up all forms of hygiene.
Personal, time, shaving, beard, hygiene, telecommuting, toenails, Dilbert, Wally
Dilbert decides to shave off his beard.
Management, shave, beard, telephone, envelope licker, story, anecdote, Dilbert, Dogbert, Boss, Alice
Catbert plans a goodbye party for those being downsized.
Personnel, goodbye, party, downsize, t-shirt, special guests, cake, Catbert, Dilbert, Asok, Boss, Wally, Alice, downsizee
The Boss hires an alien for a job that is immediately outsourced.
Management, alien, gullible, nebula, relocate, family, spaceship, outsource, severance package, reference, Boss, Proxis, Dilbert
Wally is into his fifth month with no written objectives.
Philosophy, written objectives, philosopher, freedom, help, hiding, Wally, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss wants Dilbert to negotiate the sale of part of their business.
Start of saga: Dilbert the business negotiator
Business, negotiate, sale, voice activated, hassock, footrest, ottoman, lie, omissions, misdirections, exaggerations, optimism, documents, explanations, grey area, ignorance, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert starts negotiating the sale of part of their business.
Business, negotiate, authorised, offers, phraseology, lie, sweat, Dilbert, buyer
Dilbert does a lousy job negotiating.
Business, negotiate, opening offer, accept, ruin, Dilbert, buyer
Dilbert brings the negotiations to an end.
Business, negotiate, contract, expenses, legal liabilities, revenue, patents, public credit, swimming pool, bare hands, spoon, Dilbert, buyer
Dogbert observes the Company's stock goes down whenever Dilbert does anything.
Investment, stock, plunge, news, acquire, shares, motionless, remote control, Dogbert, Dilbert
Catbert gives the Boss an idea for motivating the staff.
Leadership, motivation, threat, belittle, humiliation, promises, berate, slogans, posters, bully, praise, raise, trophy wife, yell, purple, Boss, Catbert, Carol
Catbert announces stock options are to be replaced with a bonus system.
Benefits, stock options, bonus, happiness, kindness, management, gullible, investors, hairball, Catbert, Dilbert, Wally, Boss, Asok
Catbert recommends hiring feral employees.
Start of saga: The feral employee
Personnel, afford, budget, trained employees, alley, creamer, cage, Boss, Catbert, feral employees
The Boss hires a feral employee.
Personnel, feral employee, inexpensive, cheap, untrained, bite, eat, run away, Boss, Dilbert, Will
The Boss assigns Wally to teach the new feral employee how to use indoor plumbing.
Training, feral employee, chance, risk, regret, professional, indoor plumbing, newspaper, restroom, bathroom, Boss, Wally, Will
A woman likes the new feral employee because he's a challenge.
Dating, feral employee, untamed, challenge, bicycle pants, mow, lawn, woman, Will, Dilbert, Asok, Wally
The new feral employee complains marketing wouldn't him the products specs.
Marketing, feral employee, product specs, dumpster diving, french fry, Will, Boss, Dilbert
The VP of marketing describes their new "bet the company" strategy.
Marketing, bet-the-company, strategy, advertising, talking, squirrel, Norwegian Accent, fraud, Boss, marketeer, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Asok
The Boss forgets how many quarters are in a year.
Management, quarters, year, leap year, penny, board meeting, smart, Boss, Carol
A co-worker asks Dilbert to lunch to propose a pyramid scheme.
Entrepreneur, lunch, opportunity, pyramid scheme, multi-level marketing, diet, Bible, Dilbert, co-worker
Dilbert announces their plan to generate electricity from their founder spinning in his grave.
Engineer, founder, copper wire, tombstone, headstone, magnet, business practises, spin, grave, electricity, Dilbert, Boss, Wally
Dilbert got a bonus for being under budget.
Budget, bonus check, effort, reward, results, luck, delay, Dilbert, Alice
Wally's excuse for being late is because his car wouldn't start.
Work Avoidance, late, tardy, car, start, cold, warm, wind chill factor, Wally, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert's tech support starts by blaming the problem on another company.
Tech Support, Dogbert's tech support, problem, product, services, determine, answer, pretend, telephone headset, Dogbert, man