The Boss says the company needs to tell the employees about the pending merger.
Communication, merger, news, extra work, reason, tax, Boss, Catbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Wally reads in the paper a report about the company merging with an evil company that plans downsizing.
Management, merger, newspaper, downsizing, anger, quote, valuable, Wally, Boss, Dilbert, Alice
Wally wants to break into subgroups to create a process for choosing the next meeting time.
Meeting, sub groups, process, usual time, loose cannon, label, hackneyed phrase, cut now, measure later, Wally, Alice, Dilbert, Boss, Asok
The Boss says an apple will remind them of their core values. Dilbert observes an apple's core is usually thrown away.
Management, apple, core values, respect, customer service, teamwork, throw away, stem, loyalty, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
A doctor says Alice has a case of carpal punchel syndrome and can't use her fist of death for a few weeks.
Health, carpal punchel syndrome, fist of death, foot of death, menace, stethoscope, carpal tunnel syndrome, doctor, Alice, Wally, Asok
A woman asks for Dilbert's phone number, and he over-supplies.
Dating, telephone number, party, home, cell phone, e-mail, web site, fax, voicemail, wine, skeleton, woman, Dilbert
Asok wants to move to an empty, full-size cubicle. The Boss says interns only get half-size cubicles.
Management, cubicle, move, empty, half-size, downsizing, budget, Asok, Boss
Dogbert wakes Dilbert up so he can go to work and earn money.
Family, bed, wake up, trudge, money, lights, shower, pyjamas, Dogbert, Dilbert
Dogbert brags about being retired while Dilbert still has to earn money.
Family, retired, banging head against a wall, money, social infrastructure, guilt, wag, Dogbert, Dilbert
Dilbert is proud to be part of a vibrant global economy.
Professional, worker, global economy, vibrant, reformat, disguise, objective, zesty, Dilbert, Carol
Dilbert is developing an insincere optimism to complement his artificial sense of urgency.
Professional, insincere optimism, sense of urgency, delusion, challenge, money, idea, engineer, Dilbert, Boss, Wally
A product trainer says the company takes pride in its product line.
Training, product, pride, painful boils, relatively satisfied, customers, trainer, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss tells Dilbert to take his feet off his desk. Dilbert wonders if that's an example of random management.
Management, feet, desk, recline, random management, stock value, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss sketches a logo and asks the creative department to do something with it.
Management, brilliant, creative department, design, logo, artist, master's degree, graphics arts, crud, symmetrical, goatee, Boss, artist
A news report says working with stupid or evil people causes heart disease.
Note: strips start to be copyrighted as "Scott Adams, Inc."
Health, research, evil, stupid, heart disease, stupidiousness, witty banter, heart attack, television, news reader, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss says lots of people want Dilbert's job. He calls this motivation.
Management, woods, shake a tree, chat, motivation, headcount, engineer, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert realises the merger will break the connection between his performance and his rewards.
Professional, merger, obliterate, performance, reward, wet ropes, ears, Dilbert, Dogbert
Alice decides to work like a paranoid beaver during the merger in the hopes her productivity will be rewarded.
Start of saga: Alice is laid off
Downsizing, strategy, paranoid beaver, merger, productivity, reward, downsizing, bald, glasses, Alice, manager, Boss, Wally
The Boss has a hard time telling Alice she has been downsized.
Downsizing, language, spare time, word, Boss, Alice
Catbert tells Alice about her severance package.
Downsizing, severance package, laugh, purr, spittle, future, hair, Alice, Catbert
Carol collects money for future gag gifts. One big collection instead of many small ones, she says.
Office Politics, collect, gag gifts, birthday, baby shower, retirement, promotion, paper bag, flush, toilet, sectional sofa, engineer, Carol, Dilbert
Dogbert counsels Alice after her downsizing. He reviews her resume and the type of job she's seeking: punching a short stocky guy with pointy hair.
Downsizing, career counselling, mad, resume, seek, punch, pointy hair, kick, consider, Dogbert, Alice
Wally suggests to Alice her next career could be to marry a rich guy.
Downsizing, career, marry, rich man, personality, goodbye hug, squeeze, Wally, Alice, Dilbert
Carol schedules Alice's goodbye lunch for a time when Alice can't make it.
Downsizing, goodbye lunch, gag gift, retire, wrinkle cream, Carol, Alice, Asok
Alice thinks the good thing about being downsized is not having to shave her legs.
Downsizing, shave legs, couch, Sasquatch, Haagen Dazs, television news, stubble, Alice, news reader
The Boss says they will rehire some of the downsized people because business is picking up.
Downsizing, rehire, dulled instincts, dress, upside down, engineer, Boss
The Boss sends Dilbert to a product awareness class.
Training, product awareness class, hand-on training, problem, head in a vice, attack, Boss, Dilbert, trainer
The Boss hires his wife to be the new receptionist. She starts ordering Dilbert to do personal tasks.
Management, receptionist, problem, nepotism, dipweed, bagel, cappuccino, dance, lobby, wash car, fill, gas tank, Boss, Boss's wife, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, Asok
The CEO orders the company headquarters to be moved closer to his home.
Start of saga: Office Relocation Project, Asok's first project
Project, headquarters, relocate, home, CEO, justification, expense, quip, eat mud and die, hummer, stock options, meeting, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Asok is in charge of the Office Relocation Project, ORP. It's his first project.
Project, Office Relocation Project, study, method, step one, corner, scream, bright light, Asok, Dilbert
Asok panics about the office relocation project. He says it is going very badly.
Project, Office Relocation Project, problem, possession, panic, lost, telephone service, worry, Asok, Dilbert, Alice, Boss, Wally