The Boss asks Dilbert to write a report why Pointy-Haired Carl should report to the Boss.
Management, nemesis, Pointy-Haired Carl, software division, report, unclean, secret, difference, hardware, Boss, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss wants to take over Pointy-Haired Carl's software division, and starts by asking everyone to do software jobs as well as their own.
Management, nemesis, Pointy-Haired Carl, software division, goal, takeover, hypothetical, secret, money, Boss, Wally, Alice, Dilbert, Asok
Dilbert says their outsourced customer service has been subcontracted many times, right back to themselves.
Outsourcing, disturbing news, customer service, India, Mexico, Vietnam, Philippines, subcontract, hose, raise, price, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss asks Tina to add some customer success stories to the company's web site by changing some complaint letters.
Management, customer success stories, web site, complaint letters, kick, kiss, butt, ass, Boss, Tina
Carol tries to make the Boss lose his language skills by using words in the wrong context.
Office Politics, language skills, word, context, adopt, truculent, obelisk, doctrinaire, cervically, Carol, Boss, Dilbert
Tina asks Dilbert for a project description and projected cost. Dilbert says that's impossible due to the project uncertainty principle.
Project, description, cost, impossible, project uncertainty principle, vice versa, Tina, Dilbert
The Boss wants to know why Dilbert needs a new server and doesn't want a condescending, simplified explanation.
Management, justify, server, condescending simple version, explanation, early civilisation, zero, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert asks the Boss to close the office due to imminent bad weather.
Weather, close, forecast, blizzard, freezing rain, tsunami, lava flow, ball lightning, killer bees, snow tires, Dilbert, Boss
A presenter concludes a two-hour presentation by asking for questions. Dilbert asks why the presentation was incomprehensible.
Presentation, conclusion, question, intent, PowerPoint, content, incomprehensible, diagram, disability, presenter, Dilbert, Wally
A project manager asks why Wally has charged so many hours to her project when all he did was attend a one-hour meeting.
Project, hours, time card, meeting, preparation, evaluate, project manager, Wally
The Boss recognises Walter for five years of service when in fact he has been there for thirty years.
Management, service awards, recognise, sick day, certificate, Boss, Walter
Asok is asking everyone to prioritise their budget requests. Everyone says theirs is highest priority.
Budget, priority, request, highest of the high, agree, mockery, Asok, Alice
The Boss says the Legal Department wants all documents destroyed that show the company knows their products are defective.
Law, legal department, document, destroy, product, defective, eat, user specifications, chew, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
The Boss acknowledges Alice has single-handedly designed and launched a billion dollar line of new products.
Performance Review, design, single-handed, product launch, accomplishment, meets expectations, Boss, Alice
Dilbert asks the Boss for permission to act without approval from the software committee.
Management, approve, committee, soar, eagle, save, sidetrack, analogy, software, Dilbert, Boss
Alice talks with a man who couldn't give direct answers.
Office Politics, approval, explain process, hard way, meeting, Alice, the man who couldn't give direct answers
Dogbert reviews the network security product, its user guide and the tech-support department. All are bad.
Consultant, network security product, buggy, user guide, evil, tech support, chimpanzee, strategy, quiver, inebriated, drunk, typewriter, consulting services, victim, customer, Dogbert, Boss
Catbert is in the process of firing a guy with multiple personalities. He has fired three personalities this morning.
Personnel, fire, multiple personalities, cowboy, little girl, astronaut, twin, mime, Catbert, Boss
Dilbert has to get a bid delivered that cannot be late. The Boss volunteers to deliver it.
Note: Correct and "broken" versions of this strip were published. The Boss's dialogue was missing from the first panel ("I'll deliver it to them").
Project, bid, Galatikus, late, disqualified, Irish line dancing, lesson, deliver, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss criticises Dilbert for failing to win the Galatikus bid, when it was the Boss who didn't deliver the bid on time.
Performance Review, fail, primary objective, Galatikus, bid, seduce, Irish line dancing, blame, Boss, Dilbert
Asok reads an offencive spam e-mail.
Society, e-mail, Tiffany, yagga wagga, spam filter, eye, porn, Asok, Alice, Boss
Dilbert complains all people he deals with seems to disappoint him.
Family, disappoint, deal with, meeting, mislead, deadline, shoddy, empathy, block, wall, Dilbert, Dogbert
Alice always clicks on something when the Boss approaches, he notices.
Technology, click, computer, approach, company time, filthy images, obvious, Boss, Alice
The Boss interviews a candidate and hires him because he's so wonderful.
Interview, team member, poor, blind, money, cry, hire, ESP, instinct, mitten, skill, experience, new hire, Boss, Alice
The Boss seeks opinions to base his decision on.
Management, opinion, translation, decision, trash talk, advice, mental, crazy idea, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
The Boss tries to impress a potential customer with irrelevant data.
Sales, product, lines of code, translation, irrelevant data, ecru, key, car, Boss, woman
A job candidate has three masters degrees and a PhD, but no common sense.
Interview, masters degree, PhD, impress, common sense, moustache, goatee, Boss, man
A PhD thinks they should give up negotiating with vendors.
Office Politics, PhD, opinion, negotiate, vendor, money, embarrass, shave, moustache, goatee, PhD, Alice, Dilbert
Wally looks busy as he hears the Boss approaching.
Office Politics, computer, click, magic management necklace, Wally, Boss
The Boss asks for a special management keyboard instead of one that looks like everyone else's.
Management, keyboard, special key, new alphabet, discover, draw, Boss, Carol
A new employee introduces himself. Wally doesn't want to meet him.
Office Politics, first day, new employee, anonymous, business card, worry, new hire, Matt, Dilbert, Wally