The Boss says business is down and the employees should know what to do.
Management, business, down, finish, appear, surplus, employee, admit, wrong, know, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The Boss realises Wally's weekly status report is simply buzzwords strung together. Wally says it's been the same for eleven years.
Management, status report, buzzword, strung together, week, adopt, mission statement, Boss, Wally
The Boss introduces an inspirational speaker who was a famous athlete until he ruined his life with booze and drugs.
Leadership, speaker, famous, athlete, drugs, booze, ruin, shank hew vewy mush, inspirational, drunk, Boss, inspirational speaker, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
Dilbert announces after three years, they're still talking about project requirements, and he thinks it's a problem.
Project, anniversary, meeting, requirements, problem, three year, Dilbert, Ted
Dogbert, on a tech support call, says the process works fine on his PC.
Tech Support, Dogbert's tech support, works fine here, PC, problem, defective, selfish, attractive, package, telephone headset, Dogbert, customer
The Boss sends out the safety tip of the day: bend your knees when you bang your head against the wall.
Management, safety tip of the day, bend, knees, bang, head, wall, art, science, Boss
A tech support caller complains about the printer ejecting a blank page after every document.
Tech Support, abuse, printer, page, blank, paper, silk, complain, quality, lousy, accept, change, telephone headset, Dogbert, customer, Dilbert
The Boss promotes Dilbert to more work with the same pay and title.
Management, promotion, more work, pay, title, smile, good news, scare, Boss, Dilbert
The engineers brag about how many hours they worked last week.
Office Politics, hours, week, brag, upmanship, nothing, pattern, lunch, Dilbert, Alice, Wally
Carol calls to request a good looking copier repair guy.
Secretary, copier, repair guy, good looking, tin can, egg carton, flirt, joy, paper jam, Carol, Boss
Carol describes how the copier repair guy should look: tall, non-smoker, well-defined abs.
Secretary, copier, repair guy, tall, non-smoker, abs, dating service, money, semantics, shave, oil, Carol
Dilbert says the online self-assessment survey won't let him leave the "areas for improvement" part blank.
Professional, online, self assessment, survey, improvement, blank, steal, check box, grin, Dilbert, Catbert
A woman at a party asks Dilbert if he is a manager. Dilbert says he is an individual contributor.
Personal, manager, individual contributor, job description, ant, glass, party, wine, woman, Dilbert
The important decision makers meet to discuss important strategies.
Leadership, decision makers, strategy, little people, Project Opal, intuition, daughter, budget, secret, Boss, manager, Dilbert
The Boss wastes more of Alice's time. She keeps a running tally of how much.
Management, weekend, clean, tool shed, running tally, time, waste, frozen snake, shovel, stopwatch, Boss, Alice
A sentence finisher finishes all of Dilbert's sentences at a meeting.
Office Politics, money, orphan, sack, alibi, finish, accuracy, annoy, Dilbert, the sentence finisher
Wally makes a camouflage suit to blend in with the cubicle walls.
Technology, camouflage suit, background, cubicle wall, fabric, mask, tie, material, startle, Dilbert, Wally
Dilbert complains to the Boss his new assignment isn't useful. It's part of the Boss's plan to take over another department.
Management, assignment, job, need, take over, department, report, pretend, useful, Dilbert, Boss
A vendor promises something that can be accomplished by travelling faster than light to go back in time.
Sales, task, faster than light, black hole, doorway in time, iffy, flexible, Dilbert, vendor
Alice tries to get on the Boss's calendar and complains he's never available.
Management, book, meeting, Tuesday, ratio, availability, useful, insult, math, human resources, Alice, Boss, Catbert
The Boss mumbles while explaining Dilbert's objectives. Dilbert has to bring in an interpreter.
Management, critical part, objective, mumble, interpreter, jargon, weaselese, dialect, line dance, gazebo, Boss, Dilbert, Allen
The Boss tells Dilbert he must cancel his class because of budget cuts. Dilbert says the class is already paid for.
Budget, training, slash, cancel, class, smart, stupid, secret, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert and Wally rejoice when they get an unnecessary assignment.
Work Avoidance, critical, analysis, sweet smell, unnecessary assignment, feasibility, non-existent, software, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss says it's the new reality, and people who don't like it can leave.
Management, new reality, question, definition, sleep, presentation, motivational, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice, Asok
An employee complains his keycard doesn't work and neither does his password or voicemail.
Downsizing, key card, tailgate, network password, voicemail, grin, fired, Ted, Boss
The Boss asks Dilbert to walk and talk.
Management, walk and talk, supplier, greet, name, easy, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss doesn't listen while he and Dilbert are walking and talking.
Management, walk and talk, decision, distract, random, answer, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss interrupts Dilbert's meeting with a customer and wastes all their time.
Meeting, favourite, customer, luck, perspective, quality, price, service, circle, waste, revenge, phrase, Boss, customer, Dilbert
Ted interrupts the meeting to say the committee across the hall is doing the same thing they are.
Project, committee, hall, duplicate, west side story, hum, dance fight, Ted, Wally, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss asks Alice to write her own performance evaluation.
Performance Review, write, sign, seven layers of management, ding, manage myself, self-management, Boss, Alice