The Elbonian Fulfilment Service answers a phone call.
Sales, Elbonian Fulfilment Service, thwart, grunt, funny, telephone, tin can, string, Elbonian, Elbonian pig
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Tina presents the results of the customer satisfaction survey where 83% spat at their telephones until they died of dehydration.
Management, customer satisfaction survey, spat, telephone, die, dehydration, group, luck, Tina, Boss, Wally, Asok
A customer calls the Sales Department, outsourced to an Elbonian company, and gets insulted.
Sales, die, choke, bile, supervisor, monitor, quality control, tin can, string, customer, Elbonian, Elbonian pig
Dogbert gets the Boss to subscribe to his new technology magazine.
Dogbert-Schemes, Dogbert's Technology Magazine, reporter, objective review, product, advertise, junk, subscribe, stand on head, Dogbert, Boss
The Boss introduces the Feature Creep, who determines the product's features.
Start of saga: The Feature Creep
Management, feature, product, praise, cape, Boss, Feature Creep, Dilbert
The Feature Creep asks for a low-battery indicator.
Product, schedule, late, low-battery, indicator, health, objective, warm, night and day, overwork, cape, Feature Creep, Dilbert
The Feature Creep thinks he has a super power and is sexy.
Office Politics, super power, sexy, oomp, missy, gasp, cape, Feature Creep, Alice
The Boss tells Dilbert he failed to meet a CEO-set goal. Dilbert wants to know which one.
Management, fail, goal, objective, CEO, impossible, ill-advise, life, other people, Boss, Dilbert, Dogbert
Alice's flight arrived at 3AM and she's suffering the next day.
Travel, flight, red-eye, slap, eye, uncross, coffee, hostage, hair, Alice, Dilbert, Asok
Alice tells the Boss she came in to work even though she had been travelling all night.
Travel, flight, usual, jeopardy, work, hair, park, lobby, Alice, security guard, Boss
Dilbert interviews the Boss's Nephew, whose professional experience consists of bowling -- once.
Professional, job interview, experience, bowling, ball, heavy, work, remember, snack bar, whack, new boss, Boss, Dilbert, Boss's Nephew
The CEO announces the company is poised for earnings growth, but he is leaving first.
Leadership, CEO, poise, growth, earn, announce, leave, stock option, vest, tie flip up, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
The Boss tries to see what's on Dilbert's computer screen, and pretends to be in mid-stride while spying.
Management, work, screen, font, spy, mid-stride, pretend, muscle, cramp, telephone, cell phone, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Ted tells Alice to smile, and she gives him a look of death.
Office Politics, smile, hurt, gaaak!!, kill, look, frown, lunch, Ted, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
Dogbert tells Dilbert to be self-delusional. It's the only way to be happy.
Philosophy, key, happy, self-delusion, organic, think, pain collector, race, oblivion, blame, Dogbert, Dilbert
The Boss says he likes to fish and he does catch-and-release. That sounds like fish torture, Ming says.
Nature, lover, fish, catch-and-release, torture, fun, other words, Boss, Ming
The Boss tells Dilbert the deadline has been pushed back a week, but Dilbert is upset because he has been working flat out to meet the deadline.
Management, good news, bad news, deadline, marathon work, schedule, Boss, Dilbert
Carl, a call centre employee, is asked to reduce his average call time.
Tech Support, call centre, reduce, average, call time, fired, product, question, fast, interface, bonus, study, priesthood, telephone headset, paycheque, call centre manager, Carl, Dilbert
Alice receives positive reinforcement from the Boss and she gets all tingly.
Start of saga: Alice is hooked on positive reinforcement.
Performance Review, feedback, strange, feeling, ecstasy, pulse, soul, positive reinforcement, tingle, Alice, Boss
Alice's exposure to positive reinforcement is wearing off so she seeks more by asking for compliments.
Office Politics, positive reinforcement, experience, addict, say something nice, crazy, drool, drug, lunch, Alice, Wally, Dilbert
Alice's exposure to positive reinforcement is wearing off so she tries to steal other's deliverables.
Office Politics, positive reinforcement, addict, drug, deliverable, presentation, slide, projector, praise, Alice
The Boss and Catbert decide to promote Alice to management because of her behaviour.
Start of saga: Alice is promoted to management.
Management, inadvertent, verbal praise, addict, lie, steal, no choice, promote, Boss, Catbert, Alice
Alice's soul departs after she's promoted to management.
Management, soul, manager, need, claim ticket, demotion, sax, Alice's soul, Phil
Alice asks the Boss how to cope with not having a soul.
Management, manager, empty, soul, teeth, grit, dance, air guitar, Alice, Boss
The Boss wants to automate tech support by analysing incoming e-mails for key words.
Tech Support, idea, online, automation, e-mail, analyse, key word, plan, response, customer, ski mask, throw rock, house, dissatisfaction, sarcasm, supportiveness, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss blindfolds Alice so they can go to the secret management training facility.
Start of saga: Dogbert's management training class.
Management, training, secret location, car, blindfold, drive, Boss, Alice
Dogbert asks his management training class what to do if they made a large mistake.
Training, management, instructor, mistake, learn from it, answer, Dogbert, management trainee, Alice
Dogbert tells his management training class the two essential rules of management.
Training, management, rule, essential, customer is always right, punish, arrogance, Dogbert, Alice