A certified technician gloats to the Boss about getting a better job at a different company -- all because of his certification.
Professional, certification, gloat, power, job, hire, costume, cape, superhero, certified technician, Boss
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The Boss says he reduces turnover of the most valuable employees and increases turnover of the least valuable employees.
Management, turnover, valuable, kick, staff meeting, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Dilbert asks for permission to take naps during the day.
Management, nap, permission, decision, groggy, delusional, purple, optical switch, lemur, dance, French, cigarette, missile defence network, design, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss interviews a multi-celled life form.
Start of saga: Giant amoeba
Personnel, resume, interview, multi-cell, life form, shake hands, yelp, harass, Boss, giant amoeba
The Boss introduces the giant amoeba to Dilbert.
Office Politics, introduction, new guy, judge, looks, train, moist, Boss, Dilbert, giant amoeba
Wally makes small talk with the single-cell organism.
Office Politics, single cell, organism, ball, shed, water, Wally, giant amoeba, Alice, Dilbert
The giant amoeba isn't working out so the Boss lets it go.
Downsizing, job, Farworks, secrete, cry, lay off, Boss, giant amoeba
Constant, useless interruptions plague Dilbert, like a posse to find out who leaves crumbs in the sink.
Office Politics, joy, productivity, interruption, posse, crumb, sink, assume, black sheep, Dilbert, Wally
Dogbert's philosophy says winners never commit to a deadline, and work is for losers.
Philosophy, work, loser, winner, list, commit, deadline, respect, Dogbert, Dilbert
Catbert has mapped Wally's genome and tells Wally what his genes predict about him.
Personnel, map, genome, technology, pencil, gene, predict, Caucasian, hate, right to privacy, sleep, supreme court, poor vision, bald, Catbert, Wally
Carol gets the Boss to sign lots of papers including a murder confession.
Management, sign, paper, file, murder, confession, someday, Carol, Boss
The Boss says he hid the emergency flashlights so no one can play with them.
Management, hide, emergency, flashlight, play, dumb, Jedi, lightsabre, Star Wars, day dream, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Asok enjoys sending e-mail.
Start of saga: Asok's e-mail monkey on his back
Technology, feeling, self-worth, e-mail monkey on his back, quit, addiction, Asok, Dilbert, Wally
Asok denies he has an e-mail monkey on his back.
Technology, e-mail monkey on his back, quit, check, resist, monkey, keyboard, foot, Asok
Catbert wants to deactivate Asok's Internet connection because of his e-mail monkey on his back.
Technology, e-mail monkey on his back, case, deactivate, Internet, Palm Pilot, strap, ankle, addiction, cure, Catbert, Asok
Asok gives up e-mail and starts chatting on the Internet.
Technology, e-mail monkey on his back, quit, cold turkey, chat, addict, ROFL, Asok, Dilbert
Dogbert becomes a business manager for a celebrity and steals everything.
Dogbert-Schemes, business manager, celebrity, bank, contract, fortune, biography, film, lock, tax, friend, life story, drug addict, Dogbert, Dilbert, celebrity
The Boss announces this will be a fun organisation.
Management, meeting, fun, leave, rubber chicken, hurt, hit, injury, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
What the work-at-home person says and what the rest of the family hears are completely different.
Family, disturb, fire, servant, kill, spider, wound, fly, Dilbert, Ratbert, Dogbert
Alice asks the Boss to escalate the Marketing problem.
Pun, marketing, stall, escalate, understand, help, escalator, Alice, Boss
The Boss wants Dilbert to test the software today, but Dilbert is about to make major changes.
Management, test, software, change, slap, forehead, talk, aye-yi-yi-yi, laptop computer, tool, current version, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert reviews his new to-do list: fake emergencies, doomed projects and unnecessary meetings.
Professional, to-do list, efficiency, emergency, doom, project, meeting, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss says speed is the key to success.
Philosophy, speed, key, success, confusion, wrong, fast, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
A cubicle inspector tells Dilbert moving computers without approval from the Central Cubicle Committee isn't allowed.
Office Services, computer, move, approve, central committee, adjust, technician, plant, guideline, staple, pool, fur hat, communist, cubicle, flotation device, swim, cubicle cop, Dilbert
Dogbert delivers a report full of obvious generalities to the Boss.
Dogbert-Schemes, report, obvious, generality, fee, recommend, free, Dogbert, Boss
Dogbert tells the story of the early years and says the founders lived in a cardboard box.
Dogbert-Schemes, entrepreneur, spirit, bum, cardboard, box, bookie, Cisco, IPO, presentation, Dogbert, Boss, Wally, Alice
Dilbert wants to spend money to save the company millions.
Budget, approve, save, reverse, side, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss doesn't want to ask his boss for more resources.
Budget, plan, increase, resource, ask, weakness, Dilbert, Boss
The Boss says there's a demand for employees like Ted.
Management, demand, employee, funny, laugh at yourself, Boss, Ted
Wally tells the Boss he's a miserable bag of crud.
Finance, stock options, fortune, bag of crud, worthless, value, society, lunch, Wally, Boss, Dilbert