Dilbert asks why he must follow the same process that failed thirty times in a row.
Management, understand, process, fail, optimism, succeed, Dilbert, Boss
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
At a party, a woman asks Dilbert what he does for a living.
Dating, living, slave, command, insane, baboon, catch, party, box, woman, Dilbert
Mordac the Preventer of information services sentences Dilbert to a week without e-mail for exceeding his disk quota.
Corporate Services, disk space, server, allocation, e-mail, engineer, search, up against the wall, modem, suspenders, sentence, punishment, wireless, Mordac, Dilbert, Dogbert
Wally is to be replaced by an embryo.
Start of saga: Wally is to be replaced by a low-paid embryo.
Management, technology, young man's game, replace, low-paid, embryo, teach, Boss, Wally
Alice sees the embryo that will replace Wally.
Office Politics, embryo, replace, coffee, cute, healthy, quart, Alice, Wally
Wally complains he gets paid less than the embryo.
Office Politics, embryo, pay, fertilise, obstruct, progress, cute, take sides, Dilbert, Wally
Wally ruins the embryo's career by volunteering him to give constructive criticism to Human Resources.
Office Politics, embryo, career, volunteer, constructive criticism, human resources, attitude, Wally, Catbert
The Boss finds out what customers are saying. Dilbert says they're saying nothing.
Management, leader, customer, listen, feedback, defective, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss wants to listen to his employees no matter how much he laughs on the inside.
Management, leader, listen, employee, laugh, forced smile, Boss, Wally
Alice can hand out paperweights as a reward for positive attitudes, the Boss says.
Management, positive attitude, paperweight, reward, award, whistle, throw, pain, hit on the head, injury, Boss, Alice, Wally, Ted
The Boss complains Dilbert's project is late and over budget.
Management, project, budget, late, bungle, allocation, resource, hate, word, Boss, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss invites Wally to join the "After-5 Club," to think of creative ideas after work.
Management, invitation, After-5 Club, select group, creative idea, business hours, think, Boss, Wally
Tina gets tired of writing the same old stories for the newsletter so she invents new bizarre crimes to write about.
Office Politics, newsletter, story, invent, bizarre, workplace, crime, media, copycat criminal, kick-start, Tina, Boss
Wally reads about bizarre crimes in the company newsletter and has the urge to copycat.
Office Politics, newsletter, bizarre, workplace, crime, copycat, lazy, parent, wise, Wally, Dilbert
The compensation of both the Boss and Catbert depends on quantity, not quality, of the employees.
Management, compensation, career, quantity, conspiracy, horde, incompetent, personnel, Catbert, Alice, Dilbert, moron
The Boss wants to hire more people to get a better title, so he eliminates the training budget.
Management, budget, training, hire, direct report, vice president, title, strategy, Boss, Dilbert
Dumb boss jokes are the rage until the Boss demonstrates they can be true.
Office Politics, dumb boss, story, postage stamp, e-mail, warm, fire wall, apologise, tape measure, distance learning, Dilbert, Boss, co-worker
The Boss wants the engineers to write the names of the good employees and put them in a hat.
Management, employee, good, names in a hat, valuable reward, comfort, Boss, Asok, Dilbert, Wally
The Boss was asked to reduce his budget so he offered a critical project knowing they couldn't accept.
Budget, reduce, department, vital, offer, funny, irony, Boss, Alice
The Boss shows off his new hobby, photography.
Personal, hobby, photography, camera, picture, flashbulb, self portrait, Boss, Dilbert
Wally says he wants to find a job where he has no impact on anything.
Professional, long-term plan, impact, inspire, swallow, hospital, stethoscope, plunder, Wally, doctor, Asok, Dilbert
The Boss offers a golf day for doing a great job.
Management, motivation, golf, pay cut, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
Wally complains he is feeling pressure to work.
Professional, pressure, work, job, QED, Wally, Boss
Dogbert recommends an ad campaign to keep people indoors, because that's where people use the company's products.
Dogbert-Schemes, ad agency, research, outdoor, indoor, ad campaign, outdoors is for losers, hummingbird, garden, attack, happy, gullible, advertising, Dogbert, Dilbert, Boss, Alice
The Boss announces the company will be merging with another company. No engineers will be downsized.
Start of saga: Tina is downsized.
Management, destroy, healthy, merger, downsize, meeting, tech writer, Boss, Tina, Wally
Tina complains to the Boss about being downsized.
Management, downsize, merger, prick, bleed, experiment, needle, tech writer, engineer, bandage, Tina, Boss, Dilbert
Tina asks Alice to teach her to be an engineer -- even if it takes all day.
Professional, job security, career, secret, scam, engineer, Tina, Alice
Alice says it takes too long to learn to be an engineer.
Professional, training, engineer, skill, unskilled labour, year, Boss, Alice, Tina
Tina enrols in Dogbert's accelerated management course.
Training, Dogbert's Accelerated Management Course, enrol, chequebook, final exam, question, date, Tina, Dogbert
The Boss can't give Alice a raise because she came to work on a vacation day.
Management, raise, vacation, permission, empower, change, Boss, Alice
The Boss asks Dilbert to merge the strategies from silo teams to form a coherent company plan.
Strategy, strategy, silo, team, merge, coherent, company plan, loser, mutually exclusive, Boss, Dilbert