The Boss complains Wally doesn't answer his phone.
Management, telephone, answer, trick question, meeting, Boss, Wally
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
Dilbert says the suggested process will fail no matter what.
Project, process, fail, effort, tool, conference call, Dilbert, Ted
Dilbert's date says her last boyfriend was a despicable creep.
Dating, boyfriend, creep, crime, pay, Dilbert, Dilbert's date
Dilbert reviews a press release for accuracy and spends most of his time correcting grammar.
Office Politics, PR, public relations, press release, accuracy, squirrel, grammar, criticism, spell, injury, bandage, Boss, Dilbert, Peggy, Dogbert
The Boss wants to hide non-conforming documents prior to the upcoming ISO 9000 audit.
ISO 9000, audit, volunteer, document, torch, car, hide, trunk, Boss, Wally
The Boss asks Asok to create a budget forecast.
Start of saga: Asok creates a budget forecast.
Budget, budget, forecast, job, satisfaction, guts, hate, Boss, Asok
Wally wants a helicopter added to the budget forecast.
Budget, cycle, helicopter, padding, chopper, albino, tiger, cub, Wally, Asok
Asok gives the Boss an early copy of the budget forecast.
Budget, calculate, double check, allow for error, mistake, upside-down, Boss, Asok
Dilbert thinks Asok's budget won't work out.
Budget, spreadsheet, error, disaster, sing, Dilbert, Asok
The Boss downsizes a department because he didn't look on the back of a piece of paper.
Budget, downsizing, ease of use, photocopy, ignorance, meeting, live, die, sword, Boss, Asok, Wally
Ted dismisses Dilbert's request for information with lies -- and not even plausible ones.
Office Politics, information, request, lie, squirrel, secret, fob off, promise, military, lair, plausible, Dilbert, Ted, Wally
Asok thinks the bonus plan will benefit him because he's working at peak performance.
Start of saga: Phil teaches Asok about life.
Philosophy, bonus, confidence, plan, Mr. Reality, car, pitchspoon, Boss, Asok, Phil, Wally, Dilbert
Asok goes to Phil's secret lair to learn about reality.
Philosophy, lair, secret, reality, dumpster, cubicle, garbage, french fry, lumbar, comfort, pitchspoon, Phil, Asok
Phil tells Asok life is like a dumpster.
Philosophy, lair, dumpster, garbage, life, stink, reincarnate, Phil, Asok
Asok wants to repay Phil for teaching him about life.
Philosophy, life, repay, wax, spoon, luck, pitchspoon, Asok, Phil
Dilbert's Mom wants revenge for the person who designed the operating system she uses.
Technology, moron, design, operating system, computer, lock up, reboot, kick, Dilbert's Mom, Dilbert
Police investigate Dilbert's Mom because she threatened to kill a computer manufacturer.
Technology, threat, kill, computer, manufacturer, lock up, rebook, convince, police officer, Dilbert's Mom
The Boss introduces Patty, a process manager, who doesn't know how to do anything, only how to do things better.
Management, process manager, meeting, improve, facilitate, Boss, Patty, Dilbert, Asok, Alice, Wally
The Boss ignores Dilbert's greeting.
Management, greet, morning, ignore, exist, pay, Dilbert, Boss
Alice presents the results of her risk assessment -- no risk of any management.
Management, risk management, assessment, blank, presentation, easel, Alice, Boss
Dogbert recommends support only via the Internet and then trying to scare off people.
Tech Support, consulting, telephone, Internet, personal question, shower, home address, Dogbert
Tina concludes her project needs to fail, with the blame going to the Boss.
Project, realise, success, fail, indecisive, strategy, nod, Tina, Boss
Alice lists her morale issues to the Boss.
Management, misogyny, morale, issue, category, incompetence, arrogance, time of the month, laptop computer, sexist, Boss, Alice
Catbert thinks tight pantyhose is responsible for Alice's morale problem.
Fashion, morale, pantyhose, head, oversize, blame, Catbert, Alice
The Boss wants to solve their distribution problem the same way Eskimos store ice during winter.
Management, Dogbert Presents, managing by analogies, distribution, Eskimo, winter, Summer, ice, starve, eat, penguin, ban, hibachi, zoo, Dogbert, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert has lost weight, but Dogbert doesn't care.
Family, diet, weight loss, happy, supportive, encourage, tapped out, bathrobe, Dilbert, Dogbert
The Boss wants to use inaccurate budget numbers.
Budget, accuracy, backup, back pocket, emergency, clueless, encryption, Boss, Dilbert
Alice complains to Asok he never answers his phone.
Office Politics, telephone, call, fist of death, gnaw, escape, Alice, Asok, Wally, Dilbert
Catbert starts an employee skills database.
Personnel, employee, skills database, first step, laugh, move jobs, fuzzy, Catbert, Asok, Wally
There's been some thefts from the cubicles. The suspect's description matches the Boss.
Management, rash, theft, suspect, slow-witted, meeting, bulletin, pointy hair, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice