Management training shows the Boss nonsense phrases that can be used in any situation.
Management, training, nonsense, phrase, quality, handout, implementation, methodology, presentation, trainer, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
A marketing guy reads a magazine and the engineers plot to stop him.
Marketing, magazine, knowledge, tranquiliser dart, net, space station, loudspeaker, bathroom, restroom, marketing guy, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Asok
Bob starts his own business to give in-office chair massages to cubicle dwellers.
Business, masseur, chair massages, pervert, in-office, towel, massage oil, Bob, Wally, Dogbert
The Boss asks Dilbert to be on the lookout for COBOL programmers to handle the millennium problem.
Y2K, COBOL, programmer, mainframe, millennium, dinosaur, Boss, Dilbert, Bob
The Boss assigns Bob and Asok to fix the millennium problem.
Y2K, COBOL, millennium, mentor, teamwork, meteor, glacier, Boss, Asok, Bob
Bob says problems will go away if you wait long enough.
Leadership, problem solving, wait, standing motionless, reorganisation, Bob, Boss, Asok
Catbert tells the Boss not to reward employees, just torture them less.
Management, reward, torture, employee, staff meeting, Catbert, Boss, Alice
The Boss asks Dilbert to analyse the risks on a project.
Project, risk analysis, indecision, clueless, understand, micromanage, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss welcomes everyone to the Engineering Conference where the theme is "Employees are our most valuable asset."
Conference, valuable asset, key note, asset, art, depreciation, certificate, presentation, microphone, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, Catbert
The cubicle police complain of a safety violation in Wally's cubicle.
Safety, cubicle police, flashlight, dog, living organism, paper, cubicle cop, Wally, Dilbert
A stack of paper fell and killed a cubicle cop, Alice says.
Safety, cubicle police, stack of paper, quality workshop, dead body, lunch, Alice, Wally, Dilbert
Dilbert does his best to withhold information from Marketing, but slips up.
Marketing, feature, it depends, information, time of day, lunch, marketing guy, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
Dogbert's dating advice to Dilbert is to have a designated bragger because women like accomplishments but not bragging.
Dating, advice, brag, designated bragger, humility, makeup, honesty, Dogbert, Dilbert
Dilbert goes on a first date with a woman who hugs.
Dating, hug, bra, watch, awkward, Dilbert, Dilbert's date, Dogbert
Dogbert recounts Dilbert's embarrassing date where his watch strap snagged her blouse.
Dating, laugh, watch, blouse, hug, I'm an engineer not a diamond cutter, Dogbert, Dilbert
Dilbert confuses the Boss when he questions priorities on different tasks.
Management, priority, urgent, assignment, Quake game, video game, Boss, Dilbert, Wally, Alice
The Boss tells Tina the non-technical people are getting new job titles.
Organisation, job title, second-class citizen, SCC Group, non technical, Boss, Tina
Dilbert says all good ideas look like bad ideas to losers.
Start of saga: A focus group of losers
Entrepreneur, good idea, bad idea, loser, market research, flood zone, Frisbee, flying disc, Dilbert, Dogbert, man, woman
Dogbert explains to the focus group they were picked because of their pattern of making loser choices.
Dogbert-Schemes, market research, loser, liver transplant, jury duty, focus group, Dogbert, man, woman
Dogbert's question to the focus group is how they would react if a small dog took advantage of them.
Dogbert-Schemes, market research, loser, complain, Bureau of Dogs, swami hat, Dogbert, man, woman
Catbert explains the company has no implied contract to keep Wally employed but expects total loyalty.
Personnel, employment, loyalty, contract, face-stretching exercise, smile, Catbert, Wally
Alice notices a fog rolling in over the cubicles and expects the worst.
Organisation, fog, staff meeting, reorganisation, Alice, Boss, Dilbert, Carol
The Boss wants Alice to include revenue figures on the network upgrade even though there are none.
Technology, network upgrade, revenue, spreadsheet, lie, fist of death, Boss, Alice
An ISDN installer comes to Dilbert's place. The installation should be simple.
Start of saga: Dilbert gets an ISDN phone line installed
Technology, ISDN line, installer, deadline, telephone, utility belt, telephone cord, Dilbert, ISDN installer
The ISDN installer makes sure Dilbert's phone line is connected to central office.
Technology, ISDN line, installer, network, telephone, utility belt, telephone cord, conduit, ISDN installer, Dilbert
The ISDN installer says installing a digital line is very different.
Technology, ISDN line, installer, spids, slap fight, telephone, utility belt, telephone cord, gizmo, injury, ISDN installer, Dilbert, Dogbert
The ISDN installation is successful and Dilbert does an Engineer's victory dance.
Technology, ISDN line, Internet, 128 Kilobytes per second, victory dance, jury, kill, murder, telephone, camcorder, video camera, Dilbert, Dogbert, Ratbert
A woman shows her new baby to the Boss and asks if she needs to provide a doctor's note to explain her absence.
Administration, baby, feed, pregnant, doctor's note, Mickey Rooney, woman, Boss
The Boss announces they will only hire people with master's degrees from top colleges.
Policy, new employee, masters degree, tall, insult, Boss, Wally
Dilbert and Wally ask Ken why he promised their new software will kill mould and mildew.
Sales, presentation, slides, mildew and mould, placebo effect, software development, Dilbert, Wally, Ken, Boss