The Boss prepares for an ISO 9000 audit.
Start of saga: ISO 9000 audit
ISO 9000, audit, procedure, ethics, unproductive, documentation, Boss, Wally, Dilbert
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Dilbert interviews Carol to document her procedures.
ISO 9000, audit, procedure, office supplies, complain, Dilbert, Carol
Dilbert continues documenting job processes.
ISO 9000, audit, buzzword, adding value, job title, politics, quality, Dilbert, co-worker
A buyer says the company can't be a supplier unless the company is ISO 9000 certified.
ISO 9000, audit, supplier, laugh, internal process, documentation, price, Boss, buyer
Ratbert teases Dilbert about how hard he's working.
Family, hard work, century, joy, Ratbert, Dilbert
The Boss complains no-one has been nominated for a special achievement award.
Teamwork, special achievement award, nominate, lock, standard, proactive, Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice
The Boss asks Dilbert to head a technology alliance with a small silicon valley start-up.
Start of saga: Strategic alliance
Office Politics, alliance, silicon valley, corporate culture, pierced brain, goatee, Boss, Dilbert
Dilbert discusses procedures to approve projects.
Office Politics, approval, alliance, pants, binder, goatee, Dilbert, man
The strategic alliance is working well.
Office Politics, alliance, technical skill, binder, assimilate, resistance is futile, spiked hair, goatee, Dilbert, man
Dilbert discusses the differing corporate cultures.
Office Politics, alliance, corporate culture, beta, Internet, empower, press release, spiked hair, goatee, presentation, projector, laptop computer, Dilbert, man
Dilbert pronounces the strategic alliance to be doomed.
Office Politics, strategic alliance, inefficiency, destroy, skull and crossbones, presentation, projector, Dilbert, Boss
Catbert invents a new employee recognition program to humiliate employees.
Management, employee recognition, pocket lint, award, Catbert, Boss
Alice gets a "meets expectations" on her performance review.
Management, performance review, raise, expectations, patent, bone marrow, lunch, attendance, Boss, Alice, Wally
The Boss assigns Alice to be in charge of their booth at the trade show.
Start of saga: Trade Show
Management, booth, trade show, strategic incompetence, Boss, Alice, Dilbert
Dogbert proposes the Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company designs the booth for the trade show.
Engineer, booth, trade show, consultant, deluxe, revenue, Dogbert, Alice
Dogbert explains how to have an attention grabbing booth at the trade show.
Engineer, booth, trade show, attention-grabbing, booth babes, raffle, magic trick, special effect, presentation, projector, laptop computer, Dogbert, Alice
Alice has her own ideas to increase traffic to the booth.
Engineer, booth, trade show, attractive, sexist, dental floss, thong bikini, competitor, Alice, Dilbert, Boss, Wally
Wally gets down to it at the trade show.
Technology, trade show, free stuff, pen, eye contact, industry research, buffet, laptop computer, Wally, sales rep
Alice is rude to the trade show attendees.
Engineer, trade show, booth, defect, insult, Alice, man
Wally says his project is on track -- to failure.
Leadership, project, plan, lawyer, promotion, mission statement, mockery, derision, experienced, date, literal interpretation, Wally, Dilbert, Boss, Alice
Dilbert flames a newbie e-mail.
Technology, e-mail, newbie, goat herder, cartoonist, elitist technology bigot, haves and have nots, Dilbert, Dogbert
Dilbert complains about an eighty character, meaningless e-mail address.
Technology, e-mail, embarrassment, business card, reply function, Dilbert, man, woman
Catbert commits a random act of catness -- on Alice.
Fashion, random acts of catness, purr, shed, pink suit, dry clean, Catbert, Alice, Dilbert, Wally
The Cubicle Warrior battles boredom.
Office Politics, cubicle warrior, boredom, grandchildren, hobo, Dilbert, Dogbert
Wally is too busy to get the required amount of training.
Training, required training, contract employee, Catbert, Wally
The Boss ponders his contribution to the company.
Management, actual work, decision, carbon dioxide, plant, Boss, Carol
Alice asks Keith what he leaned while taking his MBA.
Management, management team, MBA, motivation, negotiation skills, strategy, business writing, finance, accounting, economics, math, swear, curse, Boss, Keith, Alice
Wally tells Catbert he enjoys making microwave popcorn.
Management, popcorn, microwave, love job, Catbert, Wally
Catbert issues a memo banning popcorn in the office.
Management, popcorn, tobacco, perfume, pollutant, Catbert, Alice, Wally
The Boss presents an award to Tim for agreeing to do the job he was hired for.
Management, award, accomplishment, stonewall, Boss, Tim, Alice, Dilbert
The Boss presents an award to Kim for fixing problems caused by her own incompetence.
Management, award, problem, incompetence, full plate, Boss, Kim