Alice wonders why she never has time to eat but the men are eating by 11:35.
Office Politics, lunch, upgrade, efficiency, hungry, secret, Alice, Wally, Dilbert
Tip: You can download the DSI, which is the source for these strip descriptions. It's at the downloads page.
The company rolls out two programs -- dignity enhancement and random drug testing.
Management, dignity enhancement program, random drug testing, coffee cup, clue metre, gizmo, Boss, Alice, Wally, Dilbert
The Boss collects DNA samples to check for anything that could hurt productivity.
Management, DNA, genetic problems, productivity, hypodermic needle, syringe, trousers, pants, deadline, Boss, Dilbert
Salaries are based on predicted success, not past performance.
Management, pay, stapler mishap, predicted success, versus, past performance, DNA, predict, analysis, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert plays security guards in space.
Dogbert-Schemes, security guards in space, badge, experiment, rocket, lunchbox, gizmo, launch, safety, Dogbert, Ratbert, security guard, Dilbert
The Boss asks Dilbert why he's a week behind schedule.
Management, behind schedule, leadership, parent, drunk, enthusiasm, success, blank, Boss, Dilbert
The Boss adds a person to help Dilbert, but he needs training.
Management, resource, productivity, programming, untrained, training, Boss, Dilbert, Barry
The Boss asks how it's going since adding an extra person to Dilbert's programming.
Management, programming, modules, mouse, microphone, announcement, public address, PA systems, Boss, Dilbert, Barry
Managers will now be called "thought leaders".
Management, manager, thought leaders, Boss, Dilbert, Ted, Wally
The Boss says Dilbert's performance was good, but on unimportant tasks.
Management, performance review, task, raise, bonus, salary, workplace violence, violence, Boss, Dilbert
The managers attend another closed-door meeting.
Management, closed-door meeting, layoff, resume, leadership vision, action, Dilbert, Boss, manager
Tina complains nobody reviews her writing.
Note: Tina's first appearance.
Project, documentation, review, technical writer, fetid pile of compost, blank page, bluff, Tina, Dilbert
Dogbert is contemplating buying Dilbert's company.
Start of saga: Dogbert buys Dilbert's company.
Dogbert-Schemes, position, job, promise, Dogbert, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
Dogbert audits the company before deciding to buy it.
Dogbert-Schemes, audit, purchase, hideous, scare, consultant, Grim Reaper, scythe, skull, Dogbert, auditor
Dogbert negotiates a stock price.
Dogbert-Schemes, stock, media leaks, purchase, contract, per share, Dogbert, stockholder, Boss
Dogbert, the new owner of the company, makes some changes.
Dogbert-Schemes, meeting, dress code, status report, mission statement, stock options, dream, presentation, blueprint, Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Boss
Dilbert asks Dogbert to clarify the uncertainty and destroy rumours.
Management, rumour, productivity, contract employee, uncertainty, gopher, disgust, humiliate, Dilbert, Dogbert, Alice
Dogbert wants to trim middle management at his company.
Dogbert-Schemes, middle management, FYI, document, wheelbarrow, Dilbert, Dogbert, manager, Wally
Dilbert is trapped in a meeting that will not conclude.
Meeting, finish, trapped, polite, reiterate, awkward pause, Dilbert, co-worker, Dogbert
Dogbert hires Catbert as the director of Human Resources.
Dogbert-Schemes, director, misery, friend, scratch, downsize, Dogbert, Catbert, Paul
Catbert waves an org chart in front of the employees.
Note: Catbert is named for the first time.
Management, organisation chart, tease, downsize, paper, string, Catbert, Alice, Wally
Catbert dangles an org chart in front of Alice and Wally.
Management, organisation chart, clothes, paper, string, injury, Catbert, Alice, Wally
Dogbert sells the company for a huge profit.
Dogbert-Schemes, sell, profit, discrimination, buyer, lazy, funny, laws, Dogbert, Wally, Elbonian, Boss, Dilbert
Dogbert explains how the Elbonians could afford to buy the company.
Dogbert-Schemes, mud, cosmetics, couch shopping network, television, advertisement, profit, Dilbert, Dogbert
A user-friendly computer has only one button.
Sales, user-friendly, tech support, pre-installed software, retail, sales rep, Dilbert
Dilbert tries to make a photocopy but doesn't know the access code.
Administration, photocopier, access code, proprietary, Dilbert, co-worker
Alice is happy the Elbonian owners will discriminate against the men.
Management, discrimination, coffee wench, coffee cup, female, engineer, Alice, Yorgi, Wally, Dilbert
Alice shows Yorgi the American custom when men ask women to fetch coffee.
Management, coffee, custom, kick, coffee cup, hat, Alice, Wally, Dilbert, Yorgi
The Elbonians sell the company to its biggest competitor.
Management, owner, competitor, humiliation, Boss, Dilbert, Wally
Liz builds a spreadsheet to compare Dilbert's and her relative qualities.
Dating, spreadsheet, compare, formula, math skills, error, intentional, Liz, Dilbert, Dogbert
Alice bad-mouths the guy who worked on the project before her.
Leadership, project, bad-mouthing, slug, flea, tradition, meeting, brain, Alice, Wally, Dilbert